Share your Gentle (No-cry/No-tears) Sleep Training Stories Here!

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No-cry Sleep Training methods:

Happiest Baby On The Block:
by Harvey Karp M.D.

Philosophy

If your newborn is part of the one out of four babies who suffer from colic, Dr. Harvey Karp's book offers a practical plan to calm the crying and help baby sleep longer. After studying colic worldwide and discovering it is absent in some cultures, Dr. Karp arrived at what he calls the "Missing Trimester" theory. Newborn humans, he says, are less mature than most newborn animals (cows and horses walk the day they're born!). He surmises that babies are pushed from the womb before their bodies mature fully, probably because of the large human brain. Colic, according to Dr. Karp, is actually a sort of "homesickness" for the womb. Why no colic in some cultures? The author says that in certain countries (Bali, for one), babies are given much more of a "fourth trimester" experience than in the U.S. Dr. Karp's methods are devised to help you do the same by recreating the sensations of the womb.

What you have to do

Follow the "Five S's" to recreate a womblike environment and calm your baby.

• Swaddling: This lets baby know you're preparing to take care of her.
  
  
  
• Turn baby onto her side or stomach: Do this while calming baby, since this is how she likely feels most secure (but when you place baby in her crib, put her on her back as the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends to avoid SIDS).
  
  
  
• Make soothing "shh" sounds: Loud white noise imitates what baby heard in the womb. Use your own voice or a hair dryer, vacuum or other appliance.
  
  
  
• Swinging: Since babies are constantly bounced and jiggled in the womb, movement - particularly tiny, vigorous movements - says "home" to them.
  
  
  
• Sucking: In the womb, baby could reach and suck fingers easily. Therefore Dr. Karp suggests introducing a pacifier for the first four months of baby's life.

Information taken from an iVillage article on Harvey Karp M.D.

Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child:
by Marc Weissbluth M.D.

Philosophy

Dr. Marc Weissbluth takes a long-term approach to sleep training. He believes healthy sleep affects a child's overall health, including his ability to learn. He says parents can help children avoid long-term sleep problems by paying attention to infant sleep needs. The plan requires parents to watch for baby's natural sleep cycles and then help him get the rest of the way there. Dr. Weissbluth is an advocate for consistent naps and early bedtimes, saying that babies who are kept awake late to accommodate parent schedules end up paying a price in long-term sleep deprivation. Dr. Weissbluth's five components of healthy sleep include duration, consolidation (uninterrupted sleep), naps, timing and regularity.

What you have to do

• Look for that drowsy state where your baby shows less movement and his eyes are not as alert and sparkly, or your older baby smiles less and is less engaged. If you miss it (a window within a one-to-two-hour wakeful time), baby may become overtired, and it will become more difficult to help her sleep.
  
• Reduce stimulation, light, noise and activity.
  
  
• Soothe baby to sleep: Swaddle, nurse, rock, sing, massage or otherwise calm your baby. Most babies need only one of these, and too many at once may be overstimulating. However, a colicky baby may require longer effort and more techniques.
  
  
• If your 0-to-4-month-old baby continues crying, don't ignore the cries. Continue soothing him.
  
  
• It's okay to put baby in bed during the drowsy-but-awake state. But if he falls asleep during the soothing, do not wake him before placing him in the crib. (Weissbluth seems particularly irritated by books that suggest otherwise.)
  
  
• Do not rush in at the first sound baby makes. Often baby will fall back to sleep on his own.
  
  
• Other key components: Be consistent with nap times and bedtime routines. Don't interrupt sleep to feed or play with baby, and don't keep him up late to adapt to your schedule.

Note: The above methods are intended to prevent sleep problems. Dr. Weissbluth suggests that 27 percent of babies still have difficulty sleeping at four months of age and require treatment in order to become healthy sleepers. If your baby falls into this category, Dr. Weissbluth's book offers a myriad of "no cry," "maybe cry" and "let cry" solutions, depending on your circumstances.

Information taken from an iVillage article on Marc Weissbluth, M.D.

Nighttime Parenting:
by William Sears M.D.

Philosophy

"Gentle to sleep" is one aspect of attachment-style parenting. According to Dr. William Sears, a baby's wants and needs are pretty much the same thing during the first year of life. With this technique, prepare to adopt a "nighttime parenting style." Rather than trying to teach baby to sleep, parents make sleep an attractive place for baby to be. This is accomplished by sleeping close (keeping baby in a family bed or in a bassinet nearby) and offering a number of comforting methods when she awakens.

What you have to do

During the day: Carry baby in a sling and cuddle often. Maintain consistent nap times and bedtimes. By fulfilling baby's daytime needs for routine and closeness, you will help her develop more consistent nighttime patterns.

Before bed: Use one of a number of calming-down methods depending on your circumstances - bathing down, massaging down, nursing down, fathering down (infant's head nestled in crook of Dad's neck), rocking down, wearing down (as in wearing baby in a sling, not horseplay), motoring down (yes, in the car).

Once baby's asleep: Don't sneak away until she's in deep sleep. Look for limp limbs. Baby will often awaken if you set her down during the first stage of sleep.

During the night: Sleep close to baby so you can continue to monitor her needs. (If you use a family bed, make sure to read current precautions.) Comfort, rock, change or nurse baby when she awakens.


Information taken from an iVillage article on William Sears M.D.

No Cry Sleep Solution:
by Elizabeth Pantley M.D.

There are two schools of thought for encouraging babies to sleep through the night: the hotly debated Ferber technique of letting the baby "cry it out," or the grin-and-bear-it solution of getting up from dusk to dawn as often as necessary. If you don't believe in letting your baby cry it out, but desperately want to sleep, there is now a third option, presented in Elizabeth Pantley's sanity-saving book The No-Cry Sleep Solution

Pantley's successful solution has been tested and proven effective by scores of mothers and their babies from across the United States, Canada, and Europe. Based on her research, Pantley's guide provides you with effective strategies to overcoming naptime and nighttime problems. The No-Cry Sleep Solution offers clearly explained, step-by-step ideas that steer your little ones toward a good night's sleep--all with no crying.

Tips from The No-Cry Sleep Solution:

• Uncover the stumbling blocks that prevent baby from sleeping through the night
  
• Determine--and work with--baby's biological sleep rhythms
  
• Create a customized, step-by-step plan to get baby to sleep through the night
  
• Use the Persistent Gentle Removal System to teach baby to fall asleep without breast-feeding, bottlefeeding, or using a pacifier

Information taken from Elizabeth Pantley's website.

 

This should be a sticky!! During the day I wear the babies in a sling and the go to sleep/stay asleep. I started the last week and they are needing less and less cuddle time!

 

Hi. I bought HSHHC when I was on modified bedrest. I carried the little tigers to 38 weeks so I had A LOT of time to read it.

We have always put the boys down to bed awake. Just as they are starting to get quiet. I bet they have cried maybe 10 times in their lives when we put them to sleep. This is usually because we have waited until they were starting to rub their eyes, for us that means they are quickly approaching over-tiredness and will start getting wired. When we have reached this stage, they will definitely cry when we put them down.

I am very protective about their naps. I try not to vastly change their napping schedule. For us that leads to crying babies and I think I'm allergic to my kids crying a lot. By saying protective, I mean in their cribs around the same time every day (within 15 minutes). I've tried pushing it back by 1/2 hour, but that is too much for them and will result in cranky kids. Also allergic to cranky kids.

Sleep begets sleep. A well slept child is a happy child. I have had others 'tell' me how to change their sleep habits, but I know my kids and I know what it takes to make them happy little boys. Find what works for your kids and stand firm to that.

HTH,

Holly

 

I found a combination of The Happiest Baby on the Block and Healthy Sleep Habits to be very effective. My 2yo daughter was sleeping through at 9 weeks and while the boys haven't quite been as easy to "sleep train," they started sleeping in longer stretches at around 10 weeks and now at 4 months, regularly sleep 10-11 hrs a night.

For me, what has been most effective is consistent naps, not letting them stay awake for more than 2 hours during the day, swaddling and sucking, putting them down awake to teach them to self soothe and most importantly, early bedtime.

It's so true that sleep begets sleep. It wouldn't seem to be the case, but it really is.

And FWIW, I never did CIO. I have found that when they do cry a lot, it's usually because they are over tired and overstimulated, so by avoiding those situations, I can usually avoid long crying jags. That said, every baby has a different temperament and what may work with one will not necessarily work with the other. My William is a big cryer and wants my attention immediately!!

 

Routine, routine, routine. And gentle transitions. If I put the girls into their cribs during the day straight from a bright room and playtime, they cry. So after they are up for about 1.5 to 2 hours, I turn the light in their room off while they are still playing and turn on their lullaby cd, which I sing along to (they looooove that!). After a few minutes they are picked up and rocked and sung to for a bit, placed gently in the crib in their sleepsacks or swaddled. If they are fussing I soothe them or give them a favorite toy to play with. I keep coming in or fold laundry and sing to them if they are crying. They are pretty good at self-soothing though.

We did Happiest baby on the Block with great success from the beginning. They really liked swaddles and swings.

Bedtime routine is always EXACTLY the same. Bath, bottle in the rocking chair, bed. No exceptions, except that DH and I alternate feeding them.

So they get the same schedule every day - now they know what to expect. They may not like it all the time, but are usually sleeping within 15 minutes each time. I got lucky, though, mine have been great sleepers from the beginning. Real sleepyheads, like their parents!

 

I, too, believe in the power of the routine. But I have a question. Especially in these summer months, it's hard when we're away for a weekend (or even getting home later than normal from somewhere out) to keep them in a schedule. Nightime baths were a cure-all for me when they were really hard to get to sleep. Now at seven months, since we like to spend a lot of time outdoors (barbecues and such), my two will go two sometimes three days without their bath because it's too late and they've fallen asleep in their carseats or even before we even got them into the car to go home.

Now I find that they are regressing a little. Nothing that I'm losing my mind over, but I notice that they are waking in the middle of the night again. Usually just for a hug, but sometimes more than that. Naps are the worst. I stick to my routine during the day, but my nighttime one is catch as catch can. Anyone else? Does it go back to normal once fall comes?

 

Cathmar - try putting them to sleep 15 minutes earlier in the evening. I find if my boys wake at night, it is usually because they went to bed too late. That extra 15 minutes DOES make a difference.

Holly

 

I actually just waited it out...I thought they were bound to sleep through the night at some point. And, lo and behold, around 6-7 months they FINALLY slept through the night. I do not suggest my route, I just couldn't sleep when they cried. So, CIO was not an option for me because I am such a light sleeper and a pansy when it comes to them crying at night!?

Here is what I did to avoid CIO:
I separated their rooms and at 4 months my DS began to sleep long stretches because his sister wasn't waking him up anymore. He actually slept through earlier than DD did. By 5 months, I stopped picking them up throughout the night. (Although, I continued to dream feed them until 8 months) So, I picked them up ONLY to dream feed. If they cried throughout the night, I would give it 3-5 minutes and then would go in a replace the paci for my DD and gave my DS his little blanket.

I also completely agree about having a good schedule and routine! Even now, they are on a great schedule and sleep through the night every night.

jen

 

Some really good sleep articles:

Bedtime rituals can get children to sleep on time

Calm parents, calm baby

Can we prevent infants from waking at night?

Name that cry

Newborn babies and sleep

Regular naps improve night time sleep

 

I didn't read any of the aforementioned books, but somehow managed to have three good, solid sleepers anyway. :good: I hav enever used CIO mostly because I can't stand to have my children cry like that. I feel it's my job to let them know I'm there for them if they have a problem. Anyway, I think my DD was just an easy child. I actually had to set my alarm to nurse her in the middle of the night because I was advised not to let a bf newborn go more than 4 hours between feedings until they were at least 4 weeks old. I stopped setting the alarm when she was 4.5 weeks old and she slept through. Her last nursing had been at 10 and I gradually worked that back to 7 and after a week or two she was sleeping from 7 to 7.

My boys were another story. They were up every three hours on the dot to be nursed. However, sometime in the 8th week they started sleeping through the night. Their last nursing was also at 10 and I gradually worked that back to 7 also.

A couple things I did with my boys that I think helped . . . when they were good solid nursers at night, I stopped changing their diapers before I nursed them. I was only doing that to make sure they were awake enough to get a good feeding. At this point, I didn't really care about how awake they were. If they were awake enough to cry and get me up, they were awake enough to eat. I didn't want them any more awake. The other thing I did was pay close attention to their cries. After a while, I was able to tell when they were truly awake and hungry and when they were only crying out a little during their sleep pattern. If the latter was the case, they stopped within minutes/seconds, it wasn't a real frantic, upset cry, and they were back to sleep quickly. I'm afraid that until I was able to tell the difference, I rushed in and got them up to nurse at times when they were only crying out during their natural sleep cycle. I had also been making sure I nursed both boys at night even if only one had awakened. Early in that 8th week I realized it was always the same child that was awake, so I let the other one go and only nursed the awake baby. I was scared to do this, but the sleeping baby ended up sleeping through the night as soon as I allowed the poor child to! Within days, his brother was also sleeping through. (for what it's worth, my boys shared a crib at this point - until they were 4 months old)

I really believe a lot has to do with the child and of course, all babies will sleep through at different ages. However, I also believe there are some things parents can do that will allow a baby to sleep through. The biggest, in my opinion, is knowing the difference between them being awake and hungry and just a little cry when they are changing sleep cycles. I think it's so important too for your child to know how to sooth themselves which will allow them to fall back asleep when they awaken between those natural cycles.

 

DS does not sleep through the night until he is 13 month old. He used to wake up once or twice to drink milk. I used the no-cry method by offering him a little bit less each night. He went to bed about 9:00 p.m. and gave him a water-down bottle at that time. At 11:00 pm (my bedtime), I gave him another real bottle (no-water-down). If he wakes up in the middle of the night, he does not get any food. At about a week, he sleeps through the night.