sex question..are we even allowed to ask this on here?

So,I'll keep this short and simple...and I won't be too ummmm...descriptive or anything. I was on bedrest for about 14 weeks, had no sex since 20 weeks...had a c-section...had some sort of yeast infection/rash thing going on. That's cleared up but sex is still so painful. It's hard to relax which I know is a factor, and we are using lubrication...but I just keep hoping this will get better. How long though??? My husband wants me to go back to the doctor to try to work this out...maybe I have some sort of bacterial infection? I'm breastfeeding too...my drive is down of course...that's all the basic info. Anyone going through this?? Have advice? I want to want it, but I just don't...and it's so hard to be motivated enough to initiate, which I know is important to him once in a while.
Hope this is an okay discussion.

 

From my experience after having my son, what you're describing is totally normal. we definitely had to use lube in the beginning again, and it did hurt for awhile. Breastfeeding played a MAJOR role for me too. As soon as I stopped nursing, my drive came back and was WAY more interested. Just know that this is temporary, it will pass, and this is just another phase of your lives together. Hey, at least you WANT to want it. That's a huge hurdle by itself. It will all come back eventually...but to be honest it was several more months down the road for me....and that was after having just ONE baby! I'm sure having two is a whole new ballgame (I'll find out soon enough) But if you're concerned, definitely check with your dr. just to make sure. Good luck. Cut yourself some slack! It's hard sharing yourself with EVERYONE all the time.

Reyna

 

Talk to your doctor about an estrogen cream for the vaginal area. HOrmonal changes cause severe dryness and this really helps!

Mary
Lindsey 2-18-04
Grant & Kelsey 9-18-06

 

I am interested in all the answers also. We have been lucky enough to not be restricted at all so far during pregnancy. So I am expecting a little more time after. I had the same experience with my dd, after I was done nursing it was back on!! Now I am also worried about the recovery after a c section... how long do you HAVE to wait?

 

You know your body best...if you think something's off...don't hesitate...see the doctor.

The twins were my first: 12 weeks of bedrest (20 weeks of pelvic rest), c-section, etc. So, I just assumed it was supposed to hurt. 11 months later I finally went in; my ob recommended uterine suspension laparoscopy to repair overstretched tendons. She said scar tissue is also something that can cause pain during intercourse, (but was not the case for me).

Good Luck

 

Yep, sounds normal to me. I would still ask your dr, though, some kind of bacterial infection is possible & it'd be good to rule that out.

I 2nd what pp about it getting better after bf is over. Part of that for me was my boobs were so sore all the time, and HUGE it was like they were everywhere IN the way. It was like I couldn't get around these monstrous, sore things to even kiss my dh. Well, maybe a little exageration. But, hormones can play such a huge part in that.

I think there's just muscles in "that area" like other muscles....if you don't use them for awhile, they get sore. For me, it was painful after the babies were born - like 1st time painful. Lubrication does help, but if I wasn't relaxed it didn't help much.

You'll get there.....your babies are only what, 4 mos old? You've still got to be really tired, which is going to affect it, too. I think it's a pretty simple enough thing for your dr to check.

 

I totally agree with the pp. Breastfeeding was the reason I was dry. Came right back after I weaned. Also, like the pp say, lack of sleep is a big factor as well. Hopefully your DH is patient!

 

I'm having the exact same problems here, and I'm pretty sure their bfing-related. DH and I DTD once since the boys were born, and yeesh, it was painful. Lube helped a little bit, but not as much as I would have liked.
We've been too tired to do anything except baby care in the last few weeks, so I'm hoping that my body will be more ready next time we go for it.

Good luck, and don't worry. From what I understand from my friends, this is just a totally normal (if really not fun) part of the whole postpartum process....

 

Ditto to the breastfeeding issue. I thought since I had a c section I wouldn't have pain....WRONG...ha!! It is totally normal. The hormones make it very dry, and thin down there. I was prescribed estrogen cream, but I hated it. We found that with a LOT of lube, it kind of got better on its own after the first 5 or 6 times. Good luck, and you are not alone!

 

You sound NORMAL to ME!!! I didn't have the infections, but the pain was not pretty (even with C-Section!) and it took a few times before that went away! My bet is that the doc is going to say "lube up MORE" and that's about it! IF after many attempts it's not better then I would go to the doc!

 

We have done it quite a few times since 6 weeks...about 1-2 times a week, cuz we keep thinking/hoping with time it will get better. We sorta had a problem with this before I ever got pregnant, but not this bad. BTW, it burns a lot when I pee afterwards...does that happen to others too?
I'm hoping they'll give me more hope that to just use a lot of lube, because we already do that!
Thanks for all the responses though...glad to know I'm not totally alone.

 

I too was having pain with intercourse, and was not interested in sex at all like I used to be. So I went to the doctor, and she (also a mother of twins) said that is was normal and from BF which can make you drier down there. She gave me estrogen cream that I inserted for 2 weeks straight and now 3x's a week- until I'm done BF'ing. I love it. I have my drive back and it feels good again. I wish I would've went in sooner.

 

I am just glad you posted this cause I'm in the same boat!!
thanks!!

we tried it for the first time the other day (only because I felt sorry for him since it ad been so long - next thing I know Ava is screaming and woke up Addison which woke up the boys so they were knocking at the bedroom door screaming the babies momma the babies are crying!!! which wasn't encouraging for the next time!

 

Definitely go to the dr! The estrogen cream is a lifesaver!! My nurse-midwife explained to me that after a multiple pregnancy, often your vagina will go into a "fake" menopause to recover and breastfeeding even makes it worse. The estrogen solves this problem (thank goodness!) I used it for the 3 weeks recommended for "initial relief" and after that only once a week at the minimum dose for a month. After that, my body had regulated itself and now we're a-ok!! I just weaned this weekend (wah!!! ) but we were back to normal before this!
HTH!
NIcole