Set schedule or hunger cues...

My DH and I go by the boys' hunger cues for their feedings. Everyday it seems like we are feeding the boys at different times and my DH and I spend a lot of time trying to figure out when the next feeding will be for that day. It's getting a little frustrating because we never really know when "bedtime" will be. I was wondering what everyone else did. Do you have a set schedule like you feed your LO's every "X" (amount of hours) or do you let them cry to tell you they are hungry? If you feed them by schedule how do you get that started if they are not always waking up at/around the same time because they went to bed at a different time the night before? (Make sense??) Any advice, suggestions are appreciated!

TIA
Take care!

**Edit: My boys are 19 weeks

 

We fed them on demand. I tried to shoot for every 3 hours, but that didnt always happen. Around 4 months the morning nap started to take place about 1.5 hours after they got up in the morning. Around 6 months the afternoon one came into play. I would say just try and find a rhythm and you will get there. GL!

 

I fed them every 3 hours around the clock when they first came home. Say 7, 10, 1, 4, repeat. When they started stretching out their nights, and would get off schedule, I would still feed them that 7am bottle, but more than likely they would just eat less of it. Eventually things started shifting around, and they started eating more of that bottle and less of the nighttime bottle. I hope that makes sense. :blink:

 

We do both, actually! Our girls are 11 weeks, have been on a general schedule since they came home from the hospital, and are nearly sleeping through the night now.

We try to have a "first feeding" be about the same time each day: between 7 and 8AM. I wake the girls up if one or both are sleeping and feed them. Then, we do a 3 hour routine: wake up one or both, feed, playtime, and then nap (about 1.5 hours in to the cycle or shorter if they show sleepy cues: staring, quieting, etc. If they are crying, they are overtired). I repeat this schedule throughout the day, always feeding them at the same time and encouraging them to sleep if it hasn't been 3 hours since the start of the last feeding. At the last evening feeding, usually around 8PM, we put on jammies, lay them in bed, and read stories before night out. After that, we let them sleep until they wake up. At first it was a few hours, but gradually they have slept longer and longer - last night it was until 5AM.

Some days, they are hungrier than others. If they are screaming and it has been only two hours, I feed them, but still try to get back to that 3 hour cycle. Some days, they aren't that hungry. But I still try to get food into them at that 3 hour mark, even if it's only a few ounces. And always feed them at the same time to save your sanity! It may take a few days, but they'll fall into sync. Remember, you are the parents - you are their guides!

We have 5 feedings during the day, and one at night. Our girls are very happy, contented babies and I really think the predictable routine has a TON to do with that, because I'm a new mom and don't really know what I"m doing yet. Hope this helps!

 

i agree with PPs that it helps to have a set wake up time every morning - for us it's 7:00am. it sets the girls' internal clock to the same time every day & it helps synch their day to each other. we started that at around 14 weeks. we also tried to maintain a consistent bedtime as much as possible, although it took some tweaking to get that to work. when we first started we would wake them up from their last nap of the day at 5:30pm so that they would be ready to go to bed at 7:00pm. now that they're older their awake window is longer but the same principle applies.

 

We are somewhere in the middle. We do try to feed them at the same time as much as possible, or at least feed one right after the other so they are staggered by 30 minutes or so. Otherwise there is never ANY down time in between to wash bottles, take a shower, etc.! Other than that, though, we wait till they are hungry before feeding them. We let them sleep as long as they can at night though, so they are usually on different schedules all night, but then I try to get them back on the same/slightly staggered schedule during the day. (And I'm thinking about starting to do a dream-feed of one at night right after feeding the one who woke up.)

 

At that age they start to need an earlier bedtime and you will notice they get tired sooner. So try 7 pm and see if that works. Give a dream bottle before you go to bed and see if that takes them through the night. If one woke up we often would feed both at the same time. Then like the pp mentioned, wake up time say 6:30 or 7 am and then decide if you want to eat -play - sleep or play -eat - sleep. Then start nap #1 at two hours after they wake up.

Write out a schedule and try it to see if it would work. Adapt it after say 4-5 days if it needs some changes. I found writing things out helped me.

let us know how it turns out for you. You sound like you really are doing well with your twins.

 

I fed mine on a 3 hour schedule. Same as what the others said. Makes things easier down the track.

 

My boys were in the NICU for a month and they were on a strict schedule. When they came home, they pretty much stayed on it. In the morning, I let one get up on their own and then woke the other one up. It made them want to nap at the same time. Now, for naps, I didn't wake them up if one woke first. Jake needed a little more sleep than Ryan and he would usually wake up 1/2 hour later, but they still ate at the same time. I would start with the morning wake up first. It may just make everything else fall into place!

 

I think I got lucky and my kids natural rhythm coincided with a 3hr schedule. Now if it was approaching 3 hours and they were showing signs of being hungry we would go ahead and feed them, but mainly we kept to the 3 -hr schedule pretty closely.

 

We usually do the on-demand or the three-hour rule, but since I am alone at night (my fiancee works 3rd shift), I let them sleep until they are hungry. They go down to sleep when he leaves for work, after a bottle, at 10:30 or so, and they usually sleep until 6:30 or 7 am (or if I have to be at work early, they eat around 6). After each is fed, I swaddle them back up and they will sleep until around 9 am or so. Brandon will usually wake up for a feeding around 4, but he needs the extra calories. That's just what worked for us AND them. Good luck!

Jessie

 

I do a modified demand/on schedule schedule. Did that make sense?

I have only recently started more of a feeding schedule based on her cues and feeding times over the last few weeks, which were getting more consistent. As such, I've used her cues to set times (but if she gets hungry earlier, I do go ahead and feed). I started doing the same thing for the boys around 12 weeks old also.

Here's what I'm doing now and did for the boys around 3-4 months old:

5:00a wake up/feed (daycare days are early but we keep this same time on weekends too)
8:00a feed
11:00a feed
2:00p feed
4:30p feed (have daycare do this so she's not screaming by the time we get home, plus baby girl tends to like to cluster feed in the evening so this helps me with that...we do this on weekends too)
6:00p start bedtime/bath routine
6:30p feed
7ish bedtime
10:00p dreamfeed
1:30-2a dreamfeed or she wakes to feed

Her daytime naps are still unpredictable but she's never been a sleeper...since day one. So I'm still working on this but I know with the boys, naps got more predictable between 4-5 months.

 

For the first four months or so we would feed on demand. We tried to keep an every 2-3 hour schedule but it never really worked for us. All of a sudden we noticed that around 7pm they would take a bottle and go to sleep for the night so that was when we started having more of a "routine". For us, letting them fall into a routine on their own was easier than trying to get them on a stricter schedule, but it won't work for everyone and every baby.

 

I go by a mixture of hunger cues and the clock. It has worked out for me so far because I'm letting them decide how much/how often they want to eat. In the past month they transitioned from 5 to 4 bottles, all because they decided on their own to stretch out their feeding times as well as increase their intake. I think if I'd stuck to a strict schedule it would have been harder to break the routine when necessary and more difficult to tune in to their cues. Thankfully they're on the same page 99% of the time!