Seperation Anxiety

Olivia is having some nasty seperation anxiety and I'm about at my witts end. Up until the past 2 weeks, I was able to put her down for naps, put her down at bedtime, etc. with NO problems. I have NEVER rocked her to sleep...she's always gone down awake and fallen asleep peacefully.

Well, the psat week or so, she's had a bad cold and wouldn't sleep and was miserable. So, most times I was rocking her to sleep (just while she was sick). Well, she's over the cold and now she WILL NOT go down to sleep if she sees me or DH leave the room. it's downright maddening. I KNOW she's exhausted. Most times she's been up almost 4 hours by the time I get her to bed...and we try starting at 3 hours...UGH!!!!

What do I do? I do'nt remember this stage with the twins...but then again, they had each other. I DO NOT have time to rock her to sleep and cater to her needs 24/7 with 2 other kids of my own and 2 daycare kids. I can't just let her CIO either b/c she doesn't go for her nap until about 1/2 way through the other kids' nap and every time I try to let her CIO, she wakes them all up and then I have a baby that's asleep, but I have 3 crabby, nasty, moddy toddlers.

PLEASE HELP!!!!!!

 

*hugs* No advice, just hope soon she is back to sleeping good for you.

Dianna

 

Can you do CIO in a PNP away from where the other kids can hear her? I read somewhere that playing a lot of peek-a-boo helps with separation anxiety, but I don't know how true it is.

Separation anxiety is the worst! I hope she gets over this phase soon!! :hug:

 

Um, ok...did you copy my post from a week or so ago?!? My son did the EXACT same thing after his illness. It was tiring and an awful habit I wanted broken ASAP. The pediatrician said this often happens around this age after an illness (separation anxiety, that is) because they were used to you helping them all through the night when they were sick and they are now at the age they remember everything. Same with my case, it sounds like a behavioral issue that needs to be changed. We did CIO. I know you said that's not really an option for you though. We only really had to do it at night. Naps weren't as bad. It took 2 nights, the first night he cried an hour, the second he cried 45 minutes. I questioned my decision every second of it and it was so so hard. That's why I ended up calling the pediatrician after the second night to see if I was on the right track or being an awful mom. She agreed with how I was handling it and reassured me. That's when she explained how this phase works and said it sounded like him exactly. She did say with CIO don't give in, or you have to start all over, but it's even worse. Because they remember, and think "well, it took an hour to bring her in last time, so I'll cry for an hour". She also said that once it works, you may have to do it again after another illness. Hopefully you can find another thing that may work for you if CIO isn't for you. Or maybe you can just try it at night for now.

 

I agree with pp to try to let her CIO in a PNP in another room. I've had to do this before and it did work :hug:.

 

QUOTE(Kyrstyn @ Dec 10 2008, 09:03 PM) [snapback]1105922[/snapback]
Can you do CIO in a PNP away from where the other kids can hear her? I read somewhere that playing a lot of peek-a-boo helps with separation anxiety, but I don't know how true it is.

Separation anxiety is the worst! I hope she gets over this phase soon!! :hug:



My problem with this is that the little boy I watch, he sleeps in the PNP...lol!!! I will have to see. I'm going to talk to the pedi on Monday when I take her in for her 9 month appt. Good suggestions though...keep them coming!!!

 

Becky, I would try to do CIO this weekend. That way the daycare kids aren't there and dh is there to support you. We had to do it with W after croup for the same reasons.

 

I think im the black sheep here but as a mother I can NOT do CIO. Im tired, or course, but that just doesnt sit well with me. I just think they cant talk - the only way they have to communcate with me is by crying and how endearing is it that they want to be with me 24-7. Its really such a short time in their lives! BUT (and there is a but) I understand you need some sort of solution because its becoming intolerable with your other munchkins. My two cents - does she have an object shes found of? something else she uses to soothe herself? How about a sound machine or music or leaving the door open? what about patting or shooshing her to sleep. its not rocking, and yes its still helping but maybe she will start to understand its OK and be fond of the place where she used to sleep so peacefully.

The last comment I have is...maybe she likes the extra one on one attention she got while she was sick and doesnt want to see that go! poor baby! I hope your family finds something that works well for you and that you all get some sleep soon!

 

QUOTE(firemedic @ Dec 11 2008, 04:53 AM) [snapback]1106554[/snapback]
Becky, I would try to do CIO this weekend. That way the daycare kids aren't there and dh is there to support you. We had to do it with W after croup for the same reasons.

I never thought of that...might have to try...didn't think about the weekend...lol!!

QUOTE(E&Msmom @ Dec 11 2008, 05:17 AM) [snapback]1106575[/snapback]
I think im the black sheep here but as a mother I can NOT do CIO. Im tired, or course, but that just doesnt sit well with me. I just think they cant talk - the only way they have to communcate with me is by crying and how endearing is it that they want to be with me 24-7. Its really such a short time in their lives! BUT (and there is a but) I understand you need some sort of solution because its becoming intolerable with your other munchkins. My two cents - does she have an object shes found of? something else she uses to soothe herself? How about a sound machine or music or leaving the door open? what about patting or shooshing her to sleep. its not rocking, and yes its still helping but maybe she will start to understand its OK and be fond of the place where she used to sleep so peacefully.

The last comment I have is...maybe she likes the extra one on one attention she got while she was sick and doesnt want to see that go! poor baby! I hope your family finds something that works well for you and that you all get some sleep soon!

She loves her blankie and her paci...both of which she has when she goes to bed, but that hasn't been working. I wouldn't say she's crying it out, I would call it whining...you can tell she is just annoyed and not really full blown crying. I too hate to listen to the crying, so I try not to CIO, but I also have a lot of other stuff going on with 5 kids here all day long. I would LOVE to sit and hold her all day, believe me on this one, but it's not feasible 80% of the time....lol!!! I do appreciate your objective view though, without being nasty like it can get on here when you talk about CIO...lol!!!