seperation anxiety at age three?

We have been having lots of trouble with our three year old lately. He was always a good little boy until his brothers were born. It was a really hard time for him since the boys were in NICU for two months and he was shuffled around through family members and we thought that it was starting to get better and then he took a dive again. He has always been a daddy's boy and I recently went back to work but I work shift work so I only work 8 days in a month and they only have to go to daycare for four of those days. He has been increasingly agitated and grouchy and he wont let his dad out of sight. If his dad isn't home then he weeps for him and throws a huge fit. He has been more aggressive with his brothers and seems to have these huge emotional outburst out of the blue. I am just wondering if kids can go through separation anxiety at this age? I am starting to think that maybe its something else and that I should look into it more. He hasn't been eating much and he used to eat anything in site. This last year has been really rough on him not only with the boys being born but we also moved. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks

 

My girls are 2.5 so I guess I am not really answering your question but wanted to give you (((hugs))) because my girls are terrible about the sep anxiety still ... have been since like 6 months! I cannot even go pee without someone throwing a fit for MOMMYYYYYYY! I have one who just goes with me everywhere. While I take a shower and get dressed she sits on the bathroom floor and plays with my makeup bag or bag of cotton balls ... whatever ... even if it is the weekend and her Dad is home and hanging with her sister. Anyhoo ... the only thing that really helps my girls is that they are really attached to their loveys. It may be that it is a bit late for this or you are reluctant to start this habit but I find that it makes ALL of us much happier. My girls still cry at MMO and they have been going since September. I am beginning to think it is sep anxiety from not only me, but from their blankies, too (they can't have them there). I can't imagine having twins second. I could barely take care of myself and my dog (I watched him pee on the floor quite a few times while I was nursing the twins when they were infants) when the twins were little. I don't know how you do it.

If you are concerned, I would call your Pedi. See if he/she has any insights on what could be going on there. If you can afford it or have family to help ... maybe even starting to take some time JUST for him (like the playground ... somewhere away from the twins) once or twice a week (sitter or family for the twins) would be helpful. Or even every day making sure that you spend a few chunks of time with just him and doing just what he wants to do (is this even possible with two one-year-olds?? =0) Anyway, sorry to not be much help. I hope things get better! I have heard that 3 is a tough year (my sister had a really tough time with her son when he was 3 ... she said it was waaaaaay worse than "terrible twos") so maybe it is just another one of those crappy stages that they all go through.

Good luck and really (((hugs)))

 

My girls have always been super attached to me, but when I leave they usually get over it in a short amount of time. I think he has just had a lot of change lately and daddy is his one constant. It might also be hard because he only goes to daycare 4 days a month. It is like he is starting over each time he is there. :hug:

 

I didn't read the actual article, but Parents.com has a huge article about this on the 3 year olds page. My girls are 3 and it popped up in my emails they send me. Maybe you could check that out as well.
good luck!!
jena

 

My guess is that this is just a normal reaction to all of the change and relative chaos this little guy's been going through. I think every kid develops differently and responds to situations differently. If his daddy makes him feel secure, he may have some insecurity when Daddy's away. My guess is that just reassuring him and giving him as much stability is other areas as possible will help him get through this phase. Also, around age 3, the metabolism really drops off since kids start growing more slowly than they did in the previous years, so that might be the reason for the reduced food intake.

All of that said, if you're concerned, it definitely wouldn't hurt to take him in to the pedi and discuss the situation. Mother's intuition is powerful!

:hug: Hope he's back in the groove again soon!

 

Thanks for your replies everyone. It has been a challenging year for me and I just want my nice little boy back intead of all the emotional outbursts we have been getting. I have enrolled him in play school which is once a week so that he gets three hours a day to play with other kids his age and I am fortunate enough to have a lot of family who will take either him or the twins so that he gets some one on one time. I might just be over reacting or reading into things to much and looking for there to be something wrong besides an emotional three year old but I will talk to his doctor on our next visit. Thanks again you guys have great suggestions!