Separation/ Stranger Anxiety

Please I need your advice. My twins are 27 mos now and they stay with their grandparents during the day. We always get them out on weekends etc. They used to be not intimidated when they play in the mall etc. Lately, we noticed that when there's a lot of kids in the play area, they would not want to play. We just let them be. We recently joined the ymca and thu have a child watch program while we work out. On the first day, I didnt leave them and both of them stayed by my side but looked around. On the second day, I was told that I can only stay for 10 mins. After that time they asked me to leave. Both freaked out and started crying. I didnt want to leave them but at the same time, I feel that they need to be with other kids. Same expereince happened the third day. 10 mins of constant crying so they had to call me back. So far, we've been unsuccessful leaving them there. Today we took them again to the mall and they refused to play. After some prodding they played a little but will always go back to us. There was even a point when DS started crying because he wants us to pick him up and does not want to walk towards us. What do we do in this situation? Do we keep trying to leave them in the child watch or just let them be and hopefully they will go past the anxiety stage? Sorry for the long post! I just dont know what to do...

 

My kids are on the shy side and were the same way at that age. Even at 3.5 they will 50/50 answer a stranger who says hi or asks how they are. They also wouldn't play like you described at the mall but eventually they did It sometimes irritates me but I just don't make a big deal, DH and I were both quiet kids so I'm not at all surprised.

 

You don't say how old your kids are. But we went through the exact same thing last year (they were 3.5). Signed up at the YMCA, signed them up for a music class and I wanted to leave them at the babysitting area while doing work... it just never happened. Huge melt downs every time we went to the babysitting area (gave up after 3 times), first time they actually had to call me over because it was that bad... The class, forget it. I had to leave with them screaming after the second time, and the third time they were crying as soon as we pulled in the parking lot. Yet they went to school twice a week and it went fine, but the difference I think is that I was able to stay with them several times there, before leaving them alone.

So I gave up. Really wish we hadn't spent that much money but oh well. Next time I sign them up for something it's when they specifically ask for it.

 

My kids are 28 months. They started going to daycare this past Jan. they were just like your kids now. Don't worry, they will pass the nervous point and start enjoy. I remember my kids cried everyday I dropped them off for 5 months straight. They were very shy in public. They were freaked out when even family members (hose whom they didnt see often) approached them. But now, they love playground. We have outdoor toys on the backyard. They don't like those. They insist to go to the park playground to play with other kids. Most of the time, when I pick them up at school, they are not ready to go home. They enjoy playing. And they learn so much at school

Your kids might take a little bit longer time to adjust to new environment. The older they are, the longer time they need to adjust. Personally, I would leave right away after you drop them off. They only cry a lot when you are there. But I'd you leave they only cry maybe 2 mins max. Also talk talk talk to them about the new routine, that you don't just leave them there an gone, that they need to learn new things and make friends, that they will have fun,... And you will come back and pick them up at 4pm or so. I still say that to my kids when I drive them to school everyday. For the first 2-3 months, I always drove them to dairy queens for ice cream after school. It was the prize for being good at school. They loved it. the talk is very important. They might not understand u 100% at first. But talk and talk.

Hang in there. I know how you feel. But it's not that bad as you feel.. It will get better. Gl!