Separation Anxiety

Okay, my little sweeties are driving me up the wall with this. They both want to be in my arms every second of every day. I set them down, they bawl. I put one down so I can feed or change or hold the other and he screams. Yesterday, Joel started hitting me and Roman while I was nursing Roman, and clawing at my face and grabbing my hair and yanking on it, and tearing at my clothes. I had JUST finished nursing him, and set him down to nurse Roman and he threw a fit!!!

What do I do? I am going out of my mind!!!

 

I don't have any advice, but I'm going through the same thing over here! They both want to be held all of the time - and it seems like if one of them is happily sitting on the floor playing and the other one wants me to hold him - as soon as I pick him up the one that was happily sitting and playing starts fussing to be held, too. They watch me EVERYWHERE I go - and it is so adorable b/c they get so excited to see me getting closer and closer to where they are sitting - but if I walk by them while they are playing and I don't stop to pick them up, boy, do they get mad!

As a mom to a singleton first, I can tell you that separation anxiety was a little annoying with just one but I would frequently just pick him up and take him to wherever I was going - with two you just can't do that. It is SO much more difficult to deal with when there are two needing/wanting you. How do you choose who to pick up? I find myself trying to remember who I picked up first last time. I even alternate who I put in the highchairs first - b/c it is inevitable that the baby that gets left behind while I go put his brother in the first highchair will cry when I leave the room carrying his brother. It is so hard - and I feel so bad (and batty!).

It will get better - but I think from now on they are very, very aware of who mommy is and they will continue to want their mommy - and unlike most children, they have to share us with someone their exact age who is going through the same phases and stages.

So, just :hug: and know you are not alone. I think we just have to do our best to give them equal time and we have to come to terms with the fact that sometimes while we are comforting one who got upset b/c we weren't holding him - the other one is going to cry while he's waiting his turn. It WILL get better, though. I can't really remember when it got a lot better with my older DS - but it did.

 

Just hang in there, my girls have a week like you described and then the next week they are acting "normal" again. Maybe they are teething this week or not feeling well - I have no idea why my girls act like that sometimes but then other times couldn't care less if I'm around or not. Hopefully this will just be a short phase for your boys!

 

No advice, just empathy as we're going through the same thing at our house. My beebs are 8.5 months, as well

 

:hug: Separation anxiety is tough! It is nice being the center of the universe...but it has downsides too.

Teething might be contributing to it, or they might be coming down with a bug. Mine are always clingier if they're not feeling great.

 

Mine are going through it too, Ben worse than AJ, and especially in the middle of the night. Royal all-out screaming hysterical temper tantrums if Daddy tries to soothe/walk to sleep AFTER a nursing session.
They watch me all the time. Ben cries when he sees me leave the room, so I have to excape when he's distracted by something.
I think - HOPE - it's just a phase...

 

UhOh.

I think my inlaws visit might have had something to do with it. They left this morning, and while they were here, Joel was clingy, crying, wouldn't let me put him down, etc.

The moment they left, I set him in the pack n play to go pour myself a coffee, and he is happily playing by himself, facing the wall, not even remotely interested in me.

Is it possible my MIL drives them as nuts as she drives me?

 

Mine are almost 10 months and they have stopped the clingy/crying/hold me all day thing (well for the most part). They were really bad for a while there....so it will get better! I noticed that mine (even my toddler) are really bad after we spend the weekend with my parents or my inlaws and they are held all weekend. When Monday comes and I am by myself they all want to be held or entertained, it takes a day or two for them to get back to normal.

 

You are HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!

My girls have yet to meet their grandma (my MIL) as she is in a different country but we are about 3 months away from visiting. I'm trying to prepare myself for all of the suggestions and thoughts on how to raise the girls.

 

QUOTE(ladybenz @ Oct 6 2008, 07:49 AM) [snapback]1013326[/snapback]
UhOh.

I think my inlaws visit might have had something to do with it. They left this morning, and while they were here, Joel was clingy, crying, wouldn't let me put him down, etc.

The moment they left, I set him in the pack n play to go pour myself a coffee, and he is happily playing by himself, facing the wall, not even remotely interested in me.

Is it possible my MIL drives them as nuts as she drives me?


Can I use that as a fact in why my MIL shouldn't come to visit? I mean just think of the boys, honey!

Do you think we drive our MILs as crazy as they drive us? I have found when my MIL is really getting on my nerves aggrivating her in return can be a fun game for me. It is either that or tie her to the train tracks.