Separation anxiety

I am a SAHM and my just turned one year old twins have only been with me about 95% of the time. So it is completely understandable that my girl has issues with being with others. My boy could care less.

Anyway I just joined a gym and they have an area for them to go to which I think is what they need, to know it is okay to be without me. My girl, of course won't stop crying when I leave. UGH! Poor baby. I know with time she will get better. She has always been one who needs to ease into new things very SLOWLY, she needs to feel like she is in control. So I know I will be sitting there with them (her) and hopefully soon she will be okay.

Just wondering if anyone else had/has this issue with one of their own. I would like to hear your stories about it and any advice you have???!!!

Thanks!

 

This, too, shall pass. I was reading that the separation anxiety starts between 12-18 months and can last up to 24 months. For us, it lasted a couple of months and it was the hardest thing that I had to go through with them. If you slowly leave the room and make sure you are telling them where you are going and what you doing after awhile it will pass and she won't even care that you are leaving. You're right though this is going to take time a little bit of work, but it will pass. Hang in!

 

:grouphug: that is never easy! But it is sooo good for them to do it now. I also agree that it goes through spurts and sometimes they do fine and then 6 months down the road they go through it again. I hope it passes soon!

 

Unfortunately she has always been like this. It has never been any different. Granted I have 3 kids (oldest just turned 3) we don't get out much so the twins haven't been around people. My boy never seemed to have a problem with strangers. She always had/has. If we are around people, even ones she has been around before, she needs time to feel comfortable enough to get out of my arms but eventually she does and moves around with ease.

I know she will get better with time, I just hope it doesn't take too long so I could actually workout

thanks for the replies!

 

You're right, it will get better in time. If she has a comfort item/special lovey you could take that with you for her to hold onto. Or you could leave her something of yours, like a sweater or small handbag (I know that sounds odd, but it does work for some children as it's a familiar thing to them and kind of a reasurance that you're coming back).
I'd also say talk through with her what will happen, like "After we eat lunch we're going to put our shoes on. Then we will get in the car and drive to the gym, and you can play with brother and childcarers name while Mommy does her exercises. Then when I finish I will come and get you and we'll drive back home". While she won't understand most of what you're saying now it won't be long before she does begin to understand and it's a good habit to be in.

The only other advice I have is don't sneak off when she's not looking, and don't draw out your goodbye when you do get to the stage of leaving her.

Good Luck, I hope you get your workout soon!

ETA: I think it's great that you recognise your daughter's personality and are willing to spend the time to let her adjust at her own pace. :good: I doubt it has much to do with how much you get out and are around others, it sounds like that's just how she's built.

 

I'm going through the same thing right now, but for me its my little boy! DD could care less. It makes me feel sooooo bad. I hate it. I always hand my DD over first and tell the childcare giver that I'm going to hand him to her and say a quick goodbye and then leave. I quickly tell him I love him and will be back soon. It absolutely breaks my heart, and its even worse when he isnt feeling well(ie:teeth or ears lately) I hope it passes soon, its gone on for us about two months and only seems to be getting worse even with those he knows and sees regularly. Mine are 13 months