Separation anxiety

My twins are 10 months old and the separation anxiety is getting really intense. Between that and them being fussy/clingy from teething, I feel like I'm spending all my time holding two babies. Or holding one while the other fusses and calls mamamamama over and over. And when I hold them they want to climb on me, pull my hair, and try to nurse, so that's no picnic to fight that all day, either.

It's so draining having them constantly on me that I'm having trouble getting anything done, including simple things like showering and getting dressed! They can play by themselves for awhile if they don't see me, but if I leave them with anyone (including DH) they spend the whole time screaming and calling for mama.

We only had two people who could babysit for us, my parents, and it's so bad now that I don't know if they're willing to do it anymore. I'm not talking about long stretches of time either, more like babysitting for an hour while I run a bunch of errands or go to an appointment.

How do you deal with it? Separation anxiety with one baby is hard enough, but with two it's really wearing me down.

 

I don't have any great advice. Separation anxiety is a very difficult phase & they will probably (at least in my experience) go through it more than once. I think you just have to get through it. You are right, it is super-exhausting. The more people they are around on a regular basis, will help somewhat but other than that hopefully it just won't last long. :hug:

 

Hi, Mine are going through the same thing right now. Yes! It's really draining! We go to the park, and they spend the first 20-30 minutes clinging to my shirt. I have one baby sitter who comes twice a week. They will accept her, but prefer me if I'm in the room. I go to the gym at the YMCA. We have a strategy at child care so I can get out of the room. We leave them in the stroller and one of the workers help distract them.
I agree with the pp, the more they are around other people, the better. Even though it takes forever, they eventually warm up to them a little. My MIL is visiting this weekend. They haven't seen her in 3 months. At first, they wouldn't have anything to do with her. After a day, they are okay with her holding them, changing diapers, etc. I try to introduce them to new people and be positive when they start to interact. They usually look at me to see if things are okay.
Sorry, I know it's exhausting....

ps-sometimes I don't sit on the floor because I feel like I need a break and don't want little ones clinging to me. Of course, then they just cling to my legs

 

Mine did the same thing at that age. It got to the point that when my ILs would come over to watch them, they would have to stay for at least 30 mins before I could sneak out. I actually wore Jake in a Snugli one day b/c he was so clingy and I had to get stuff done around the house. Hang in there as it will get better. Jake still has his days where he wants to be held more, but it is MUCH better and it's just him. Ryan hasn't been clingy since they both started going through it.

 

Thanks for the replies! At least I'm not the only one going through this.

I guess I just have to keep getting them out and around other people. We do have a few things we do each week, but maybe they need more interaction. This might be the push I needed to finally sign up for the local twinmoms club. Maybe a playgroup could help them with this? Distract them and give them more prolonged exposure to new people??

 

oh my god i could have written this! we just have to stay firm in our belief that we will survive this phase! :gah:

 

Separation anxiety is one of the most distressing things :hug: It was a phase we had to be patient through. One of the things we did when we left them with a sitter (either my parents, cousin or sister in law), we just kept going out the door, the faster we left the faster they stopped crying. Best of luck to you!