Separate, together then separate again?

My boys received EI and on their 3rd birthday began preschool 4 days a week. I insisted they be separated and they have been for the past 2 1/2 years.

Last week I had their IEP meeting and the talk of kindergarten came up. I was unaware that our school only has one a.m & one p.m. class which would mean they would be in the same classroom next year. There is no way I would have one go in the a.m. and the other in the p.m. because I would get NOTHING done during the day without having those 2 1/2 hours to myself.

In some ways I think they'll be okay, but another part of me can see problems. The reason I wanted them separated is because DS1 can be a bit "bossy". Even now, his teacher has to tell him on a daily basis that he only needs to worry about himself and not what the other kids are doing. DS2 has come so far by being away from his brother. He has become much more social and has his own friends.

I know it's only one year and in 1st grade and beyond, they will hopefully be in separate classes.

Has anyone else had them separated and then had to have them in the same classroom the following year?

How did it go?

 

Mine have been separated since preschool, but are together at camp, sports, and Hebrew School. It works OK for camp--because they are physically active, and the counselors put them in different groups/teams when possible. At Hebrew School it can be a challenge at times--and I know because I taught them last year.

That said, and you probably don't want to hear this, but you need to decide what is best for them, vs. what is best for you. If the decision is simply because of you, you can turn around what you just said, and realize it is only one year--and it may give you the one on one time with each that is beneficial. It is much easier to get stuff done with one child than with two. Like I don't mind shopping, running errands with one child, but with two it becomes a hassle. From what you say, it is more beneficial for them to stay apart, and you lose a bit of freedom for the one year, than for them to be together just so you can have that time.

 

I have one twin who can be a bit bossy. And she's more outwardly successful - ie, likes to demonstrate her reading abilities, plays nice with others, and is really social. My other twin is more advanced in most things but you'd never know it since she has no desire to prove herself to the world. They were together in preschool, but the school was structured so fantastically and had enough teachers that they were almost never in the same room. When one was doing art, the other was playing dress up. Or one was running around outside while the other was practicing letters. So... we went with the public school recommendation to keep them together in kindergarten and I hate to say it, but it's been fairly disastrous.

Piper watches Cricket do everything right and has had a lot of trouble realizing she's just as competent. And the social competition at the five and six year level is way more intense than we expected. Cricket is bossier and more social and that means that the other girls in the class see her as the friend/rival (friend one day and rival another) and they mostly ignore Piper. My two girls still get along fantastically but it's just not working having them in one contained classroom - rather than preschool where they had a lot more freedom. We've actually met with the teacher to talk about separating them after winter break.

Having one child in AM and one in PM does not sound like much fun at all, but if I could go back and do this year over, I would happily give up all of my personal/errand/organization time so my kids didn't have to go through what they're going through now.

 

This is a great post. My boys' will be separated next year as they already get on eachothers' nerves. I especially like the part about the single kid syndrome- mine act sooo different and are more compliant when they are 1:1.

 

i have to agree w/sharon, too. i also look forward to some time alone at home (they currently go to preschool half day and i work half time when they're in school). however, it sounds like it would be best to send them to different classes. i totally hear you on the difficulties, tho. the school i want to send mine to (wehre i work!) also only has one k class that i'd consider. so, i am currently running all around the city looking for another school for them--just in case. it will be tough taking them somehere else and completely inconvenient--but i know that might be best for them.


then again, you know your kids best. you just really have to consider everything. your own sanity is also important. none of this is easy!


best of luck,

jl