separate schools?

My boys aren't close to school age yet, but I'm already thinking about options for school. There is an excellent public elementary school near our house, but I'm very concerned about the local middle school that they would end up attending. It's a very socially tough environment and I'm not comfortable with it. I also don't want them to become well-established in the public school and then end up moving at some point to avoid the middle school.

So we are considering private parochial school (K - 8th). The problem with this is that there is only one class per grade. This would obviously be a problem if we wanted them to be in separate classrooms. So another option would be for them to go to separate Catholic schools. There are 2 in town and they are both very good. They would get on the bus together, but then the bus stops at a local school where there is an exchange and the kids would get on different buses.

Is this a totally crazy idea? Has anyone here sent their twins to different schools? I'm wondering if it would end up being very difficult for us.

Michelle

 

I personally don't think it's crazy.

We have school choice here and a gifted program that goes 1-12, so I know of several familes, especially in the gifted program, who have kids at different schools, depending on their needs.

I have a feeling we'll be facing this same choice next year. Our oldest is at the gifted school. Our twins are enrolled for kindergarten at our neighborhood elementary school, but will be tested for the gifted school this coming winter. If one of them makes it into the gifted school and one doesn't, I will very seriously consider having them go to separate schools.

Like you, I think it's important for them to be in separate classrooms, and if separate schools are required for you to make that happen for them, IMO that's not unreasonable.

 

I don't know if finances are an issue, but most private school's give discounts of some degree to families with more than 1 in the school. If they go to seperate schools then you wouldn't get the discount. As they get older you will be able to see how they interact with each other and if they are about the same level academically before going into school before you decide.

 

I was in much the same position as you. I don't like the public schools for elementary in my area, and the Catholic School in my neighborhood is very small with only 1 classroom per grade. I knew I wanted to separate them, so I thought this was going to be a big issue. I figured I would send them to Kindergarten and then decide from there.

As it turned out, it was a non-issue. In the past 25 years, there has only ever been one other set of twins in the school, identical boys that were inseparable. Because of this they work very hard to keep K&D apart (almost too hard). They are never in the same "groups" for gym, art, music, pretty much anything. I can ask each of them separately what they did today and get completely different answers! Kaitlyn even says sometimes she misses Danny, and they are in the same room! (Danny leaves about 4 hours a week for gifted classes.)

I would talk to the small parochial school and voice your concerns, it may not be a big issue.

JMHO

 

I agree with Amy and Sandy. You may be able to work something out with one school, but no I don't think you are crazy to consider it! We were thinking of this for our boys when we moved here. We really loved the small private school we had chosen which had grades k-12 and so everyone could go to the same school...BUT they only have one class of each grade. We really thought about sending the twins to a large Catholic school nearby which had 3 classes of each grade. IN the end, we did send everyone to the same small school, and we love LOVE the school...but I have to tell you, the same class situation does bring issues (at least for IDs) which are frustrating and nearly impossible to avoid when there is only one small (18 students) class. The teachers do separate the boys whenever it is possible (different art and music groups, different language classes), but even now, in May, not one teacher can really tell them apart. Interestingly, the teachers who have them in separate groups write different report card comments for them, but the ones who have them together write almost identical report card comments for them (and nearly always make comparative remarks, too). I understand why this happens, but it still makes me sad. However, on balance, we think we made the best choice for the boys, even with being stuck in the same class, because everything else about this school (the philosophy, the openness, the diversity and inclusiveness) is exactly what we want for all of our children.

 

I HAVE 2 GIRLS AGE 6 AND THEY STARTED KINDER IN SEPERATE CLASSES. THE FIRST DAY WAS HARD BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO BE TOGETHER SO BEING NEW PARENTS WE AGREED WITH THE SCHOOL AND SEPERATED THEM. ONE ASKED ME "WHY" AND NO MATTER HOW FUN I MADE HER OWN TEACHER OUT TO BE SHE FELT ALONE AND NOT WITH HER SISTER FOR THE FIRST TIME ON A DAY THAT WILL BE THE BIGGEST DAY AND SCARIEST TIME OF THIER LIVES. NOW THAT THEY ARE IN FIRST GRADE ONE IS DOING REALLY WELL AND THE OTHER JUST HAD A PT CONFERENCE FOR ACADEMICS. SOMETHING BAD HAPPEN TO ONE IN CLASS AND NOW I HAVE THEM TOGETHER AND NOW THEY ARE BOTH REALLY DOING WELL ACADEMICALLY BUT THE ONE THAT WAS MOVED IS STARTED TO HAVE BEHAVIOR ISSUES TOWARD HER SISTER IN CLASS.

 

I would honestly put them in the public school for elementary and then transition them to the private school for middle school. Why do it that way? The transition to middle school is a natural breaking point in schooling. My elementary school fed into different middle schools, so the transition happened anyway. Plus, in the elementary years, their neighbors will be their classmates - easier playgroupings and playtime in the neighborhood. And if during the elementary years you see that one or both will have a hard time transitioning (don't adjust well to change, etc), you could transition them to the private school earlier.

I'm envious that you're kids have this stability. My father was militart and I attended 8 schools from k-12th grade. It just became part of life and I didn't think much of it. Now I'm in a career where we'll move every 2-4 years, so my kids will face the same reality I did. I may be fighting to keep them together through all the transitions we'll be making.

 

To add to that, I've known many families in our area who have sent their kids to a pirvate middle school after public elementary school and then re-routed them back into the public high schools. So that could be another option. Me personally, I would rather my boys always be at the same school. There are so many factors involved in two different elementary schools that I would not want to have that much of a difference. But it sounds as if it could be doable with the busing and such. I think it's probably a very personal decision.

 

Cathy, :hug99: You turned out wonderfully, so your kids probably will, too!

I look at the moving and changes as opportunities for growth for the the whole family. And so do my kids! You don't have to be military (as YOU know!) to have a lot of moves. Mamakim has done her share, and my kids have attended many different schools thorugh many moves. My eldest daughter went to 7 different schools in different states and even countries (as your children may), including THREE different high schools! Yes, she changed schools (and countries) for freshman, sophomore and junior years! Happily, we were able to stay put (here) so that she could have junior AND senior years in the same school! She's a very happy 19 year old at college now and she has made the dean's list her first two semesters, too!

Our other kids are all coming along well, too (our high school junior makes straight A's every report card, including perfect scores in her maths).

I know it takes a lot of different things to help our kids thrive, but I know without a doubt that, while I sometimes long for a "roots" type of life for the family (and I do wish they had more opportunities to really get to know family/cousins,e tc, instead of annual visits (or less)...but on balance,t he richness of the experiences we have been able to provide for our children through travela nd living in different places is irreplacable. My second daughter actually told that to ME one day!

I htink you're giving your children at least as much as they are missing. MAke sure they know their extended family (through letters, photos and phone calls, if frequent visits aren't possible) and get them to some "home base" (such as your parents' home towns or where they have retired, or where you consider "hone" and still have family or close friends) so that they have a sense of one unchanging "home base"...and apart from that, try not to worry too much!