Schedule's....

I'm reading post after post of schedules here, everyone can tell me what time their babies take naps, go to bed, wake up, eat, play, etc... I'm starting to feel like I'm not doing a very good job of mothering... The twins do what they want when they want, and maybe they have a schedule & I just don't pay any attention or what, but I need help making a schedule, because I'm soooooooo very tired I can hardly function most of the time. They do usually go to bed around 8, give or take a half hour, I know that much. & they are usually awake between 7 & 8am. They are both up twice each night for a bottle.

They are 6 months by birth, 4 1/2 months adjusted age.

They nap for like 20 or 30 minutes here & there throughout the day, usually not at the same time, which is really what wears me out.

They eat 1 or 2 or 3 or 4 ounce bottles throughout the day, I can never judge how much they are going to take, because it varies so much. They are gaining weight & right where they are supposed to be on the growth chart so I know they are getting enough.

It seems like I'm never cordinated enough to get any housework done, or laundry or anything, because there's one always awake, and then when they are both awake, they both want to be played with, and scream everytime I put them down anywhere.


Another thing is they stay at my mom's house from friday afternoon to sunday evening each week, so I can work. I sleep at the hospital during my on call rotation each weekend. I have to work, we need the money. And honestly when I'm working is the only time I have to actually feel sane... At home alone with the babies I get frusterated when one cries while I take care of the other or trying to balence them each on one hip while I fix bottles. Its insane... I need a schedule. & I need to figure out how they can stay on that schedule while they are at my mom's house.

My fiance' is frusterated because we never get any time with each other, and I'm always totally exhausted by the time he comes home in the evenings.

I'm so tired I can't even hold their bottles for them at night anymore, because I literally can't stay awake, I prop up their bottles & they drink while laying in bed & fall back asleep... I know thats not a good habit to get into so I need to figure something out.

Please help me.

 

7 am - William gets a bottle while Nathaniel patiently waits and plays. Once William is done Nathaniel nurses and William plays.
7:30 - William gets 1/3 cup of cereal with some fruit, Nathaniel gets a soy yoguart

they play either on the floor or in the excersauce till about 9 am

9 am - they boy go down for a nap and sleep for about 1.5 hrs

10:30 - 11:3O they usually play. We do tummy time and one goes in the saucer, practice sitting if my two yr cooperates!

11:30 - same thing as 7
noon - They both get 1 jar of veggies and half a jar of fruit

12:30-1 naptime for about 3 hrs

4 - Same as 7 am

they play till supper time once they are done their bottles

5:30 William gets 1/2 cup of cereal and half a jar of fruit, Nathaniel gets 1.5 jars of veggies and a jar of fruit

7:30 both get bottles, I usually have help so both can be fed at the same time

8 bedtime!

 

you are not a bad mother! infants (not to mention twinfants!) are hard - it takes time to figure it all out. :hug:

this is probably going to sound weird, but the best way to start a schedule is to set a morning wake up time (this is true for adults too, btw, who are trying to "fix" their sleep habits). so that means that if your morning wake up time is 7:00am, you have to wake them up if they're still sleeping. :tomato: i know it sounds crazy (and some mornings it's sooo hard to do), but having a consistent morning wake up time sets their circadian rhythm.

after that, you want to make sure both babies are back down for a morning nap within 1 - 2 hours - the first sleepy sign/cue you see, you want to start soothing them to sleep. since your babies are used to catnapping, you will find that they continue to do that at first - you'll want to work on extending their naps with them. if your babies sleep for less than an hour, try to soothe them back to sleep (it may take upwards of a half hour or more but they will usually go back to sleep, even if only for another 20 - 30 minutes). if you get frustrated, or it just seems like they are absolutely not going to go back to sleep, leave it for that nap & try again next time. eventually, the idea is that they'll need less mid nap soothing and their two catnaps will join up into one longer nap.

then, for the rest of the day, don't let them stay up for longer than 2 hours at a time - and watch for their sleepy cues! as soon as you see them, start soothing them down to sleep. eventually, they should settle into a 3 nap a day schedule (although, your LOs are old enough they may be able to do just two naps a day). i would aim for 3 naps a day for now though & see what happens. in terms of night time sleep, you're aiming for 11 - 12 hours. at that age, both of my girls were still getting two over night feeds a night as well so i wouldn't worry about that (unless you think they're ready to drop one - then you could try gradually weaning them from their night time feeds). my girls went to bed at 7:00pm, had a dreamfeed at 10:00pm & then usually woke around 4:00am for another feed, and then slept again until 7:00am.

in terms of their awake time, i've found for myself i like to follow the eat/activity/sleep cycle. so they eat when they first wake up, then they have some activity time (which basically includes anything & everything that you do with them while they're awake - in other words, getting their diapers changed counts as activity time :good, then as soon as you see those sleepy cues, off to bed they go.

the big thing to remember when trying to establish a schedule/routine is to take baby steps - it takes time & effort, but it's worth it because it lets you know what to expect day to day. HTH.

 

You will get there- they have an adjusted age for a reason.

I agree- you start by setting a time to get up. Now- I sort of made notes for about a week as to when they usually got up and modified it. I think they were getting up between 7 and 8. I wanted 7, so I got them up at that time.

If I were doing formula, I would get all the formula mixed and ready in bottles for at least the first 3 of the day BEFORE they wake up. So if you get them up at 7, I would get up at 6:30 and start making bottles (or the night before).

I wanted to say that I think you are doing a great job with their formula. It's really good that they take anywhere from 1-4 ozs. As I understand it, that means you are recognizing that they are full and not pushing it. THAT'S AWESOME! Keep it up!

Getting them into a routine then a schedule will free up your time and give you a bit of a life again- keep on it.

 

This is awesome advice...now, I only have one, but this is pretty much what I do. I'll hold out some hope for you--we are just moving to 2 naps, and they are longer (was 30-75 min when 3). I do not wake her for nighttime feedings, just see what she needs. The dust bunnies will take care of themselves, it's more important to enjoy this time with your babies.

 

I'm not going to go into our schedule because really, I can't tell you what time everything happens, it just does. I just wanted to let you know that when my twins were at that age, they were doing the same thing. Doing whatever, whenever except for the screaming to be held. The only thing i was religious on was bedtime, I did the same thing every night since they were born. They were good night sleepers, so I got sleep and if i had sleep, I could handle anything during the day. By about 6 months, they fell into a routine pretty much on their own. Hang in there, it WILL get better.

 

Rachel said it all much better than I could have! I will just say that you are not a bad mother. Having one baby & getting them onto a schedule isn't easy & with twins it really is even harder. Cut yourself some slack, they will get there eventually. In the meantime, you aren't doing them any harm, they are happy & healthy! :hug:

 

Thanks everyone for all the suggestions & encouragement! Especially Rachel! I think I will try the set wake up time & maybe also try actually laying down WITH them for naps, maybe it will help them to nap longer if its quiet & I'm there, rather than me walking around trying to get stuff done while they are sleeping. Hopefully I can get my mom to follow the same schedule I can hopefully make for them so they dont get confused. Thanks again!