schedule advice

looking for advice on my twins schedule - they are 3 mos adjusted (a week short of 5 mos actual). Our current schedule is (approx)
7:15am wake up
8:30-10:15am nap
10:30am feed
11:15am-2:15pm nap
2:30pm feed
3:15pm-5:30pm nap (sometimes they will sleep as long as I let them here)
6:30pm feed and then try to put them to bed
12:30am feed
5:30am feed

Our problem is the girls have a hard time going down for the night after we feed them at 6:30pm.. sometimes they don't even make it through their bottles before they start screaming. They don't usually scream after any other feeds, just this one. It can take us anywhere from 1-2 hours to calm them down and usually involves a lot of walking them around or laying them on a contour pillow.. and half the time they will fall asleep only to wake back up as soon as we put them in their crib. And then sometimes they will fuss numerous times between being put down and the 12:30am and 5:30am feeds. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. And no I'm not at the point yet where I'm willing to let them CIO despite how much my sister says I should =)

 

I do not really have any ideas regarding your bedtime struggles.

Looking at your schedule for the night-time feedings - could they be waking up and fussing because they are hungry, especially if they did not take a full bottle/nursing session at bedtime? Going by your adjusted age, at 3 or 4 months my (breast-fed) babies would never have made it for such long stretches (6 hours after bedtime and another 5 hours until the early morning) between nursing sessions, so to me that seems a long time for small babies. I was lucky if I got one long stretch of 4-5 hours of sleep and then it was back to nursing every 2-3 hours for the rest of the night. I usually did a dream-feed around my own bedtime (10 pm) and then hoped for 4-5 hours before going back to 2-3 hours, so we then had something like nursing sessions around 2 am, 4.30 am and 6.30 am.

 

It seems like their naps are really close together during the day. We always went by the 90 minute rule at that age, and tried to have them back down around 90 minutes after they woke up. So if their morning nap is over at 10:15, you would be putting them back down around 11:45. I wonder if maybe they are ready to be awake a little longer between naps now?? Maybe that would help their nighttime sleep be more consistent and not up and down so much?

I will say that my kids NEVER slept that long during the days as your do, though. We always had to make their third nap no longer than 45-60 minutes or getting them to bed was a nightmare, so you might also trying shortening that evening nap even more.

 

I've wondered if they are sleeping too long during the day, but I don't know how to keep them up longer. They sometimes want to go back to sleep right after they feed, even if they've just woken up. And it seems 45-60 mins is all I get before they start yawning and fussing. The only thing I can do to keep them awake would be to walk them around but there's only one of me and two of them (plus I don't want them to get overtired).

last night was rotten, they went down pretty well but then fussed every 30 mins from 10:45-12:30am and then were up fussy again at 3am. Funny thing was when my husband fed them at 5:30am they weren't really that hungry. And they wouldn't go down at all after the morning feed so I've been up with them since 6:30 (although they went back to sleep in their swings a little after 7am)

ps They are bottle fed and they won't really eat more often then every 4 hours - they have been on that schedule since leaving the NICU. We tried to change it to 3.5 hrs but they weren't interested

 

In my opinion, your babies are sleeping too much during the day and simply don't need as much sleep at night as you want them to have. Adding up the periods of time you've written down, your babies are awake for 4 hours and 15 minutes between 7:30am and 6:30pm. They're asleep for 7 hours during the day. Basically, you've turned daytime into night time. And you might need to add in one more daytime meal so that they're full enough to sleep for longer periods at night. I'm guessing you missed the early morning meal on the list you wrote (they're eating sometime between 7:15am and 8:30am, right?). Even with that extra meal, they might need another during the day to add up to five so that they can go with only two feeds at night.

They are tired during the day because they're not getting enough sleep at night. It will probably be a rough couple of weeks, but if you want them sleeping more during the night, you need to keep them up longer during the day so they're tired enough to sleep (as opposed to fuss) at night. Try to aim for about 4-5 hours of sleep during the day, and 10-11 at night. I followed an "eat-play-sleep" routine when my girls were 3-4 months old that looked something like this:

6:30 – Wake
6:45 - Eat
8:30 – Nap for 1.5 hours
10:00 – Wake
10:15 - Eat
11:30 - Nap for 1.5 hours
1:00 - Wake
1:15 - Eat
2:30 - Nap for 1.5 hours
4:00 - Wake
4:15 - Eat
6:00 – Begin bedtime routine
6:15 – Eat
6:30 – Bedtime (Goal to be asleep at this time)
10:00pm - Eat
2:00am - Eat

 

doh.. no I didn't leave anything out - they eat 5 times - 5:30am, 10:30am, 2:30pm, 6:30pm and 12:30pm and eat 3-5oz at each feed - they were averaging about 22oz/day on the Neosure although last week we switched Cassandra over to the sensitive formula and her daily intake increased to probably 25oz/day. I guess maybe if they are up more during the day maybe they'll be hungry more often during the day? Honestly on this schedule they never act like they are hungry!! I guess maybe I should just cut some of the naps short, although what do I do if they just want to sleep? I had to wake one up to feed her at 2:30pm and she barely woke up to eat and was right back to sleep! I'll see what I can do to tweak their schedule to keep them up longer - it's just so hard because they are just terrors after 60 mins of being awake and they just scream with everything I do. We'll try to mess with the schedule tomorrow, they have physical therapy today and I don't want them to be a mess for that so I let them take their usual 11-2 nap.

 

It's definitely not easy to keep them awake when they want to sleep. What we would do when we cut their evening nap short was bring them out in the living room with us, where there were lights, TV, talking, etc. I read somewhere in some book that by having them in an active part of the house, they may not be alert, but at least they aren't in deep sleep. It seemed to work for us. I would suggest have them in the part of the house where you are - if you don't watch TV or don't want to, have on some upbeat music, talk to them, etc. You can also try tickling their feet and other such methods and see if that helps.

As far as feeding, you said they eat at 5:30am and not again until 10:30am....can you cut their nap short in the morning and make that feeding sooner? Say, 9:30? That 5 hours between the first two feedings seems like a long time at their age, and especially only getting 3-5 oz. per feeding. If you can consolidate their day feedings a bit and work on keeping them awake a bit longer during the day, things will hopefully start to get better. Sleep deprivation is tough!!! Hang in there. :grouphug:

 

I will try moving up the first feeding, today we did it at 10am but today has been messy because in addition to keeping them up more I'm trying to get them to nap on the floor instead of in the swings (their heads are elongated and the physical therapist wants them to spend more time with the back of their heads against a solid surface). On the plus side they only seem to last 45 mins of sleeping on the floor instead of the hours that they will sleep in the swing. On the down side, I'd rather it was 90 mins lol!! So today they have only napped about 3 hours between 5:30am and 2:30pm (although they had probably another 45 mins of resting on the floor, not sleeping but not fussing much either). They were exhausted and both fell asleep feeding at 2:30 and I felt bad so I put them in their swings so they could get a good 2 hour nap (hopefully). That should still have them up around 4:30/5 and give them 2 hours of awake time before bed tonight. We'll see how it goes.

 

Mine our 3 months(1 month adjusted age)I would try to feed the on at 9am, 12pm, 3pm, 6pm, 9pm, and then do 2 night feedings when the 1st one wakes. I have started sleeping the twins in the cribs last Tuesday. They have done great! Previously they were only sleeping in their swings. I do let them cry some but it is not the full CIO I do more of a fussy it out. If they are full out crying for more them 5 minutes I will go it and get them. Change them, reswaddle them, give them a passy, etc. If they will not go back to sleep I bring them out and they finish their nap in the swing or bouncy seat. I do not feed them except for at their assigned feeding times otherwise they are not hungry enough to eat. If they start crying before I get there in the morning their mom puts them in their swings and they swing until I get them out to feed them at 9am. They fuss but go back to sleep.

I would defiantly keep them up longer before bedtime for 5-6 is only an hour they are not ready to go to sleep.

I'd structure the day something like this(all feedings are 4-4.5 oz):

5-6am they wake on their own and are given a bottle then straight back to bed. This is still a night feeding. When one wakes they other one is woken up and both are fed. Sometime they are moved to their swings if they don't want to go back to sleep but we are trying to keep them in their bed for sleeping
9am wake for the morning and get bottle,
9:30 change diaper and put on daytime clothes. Play on floor, in bouncy seat or I hold them while and hold toys up etc. I will read them book while they are playing. Sometimes I read them kids books and sometime I just read out loud from my chapter book.
10am naptime I have been taking them on a walk around this time and they sleep in the stroller. I get my exercise and they sleep most of the time we are out. I have been going on a power walk for a hour then I push the stroller inside the house and they finish their nap in the stroller while I fix their bottles and wait for them to wake. It want them to be able to nap in their stroller if they need to when we are out. If it is raining they go down for a nap in their crib at 10-10:30.
12 wake up and get bottle
12:30 play time same as at 9:30
1:30 naptime this one is always in their crib
3-4 When they wake on their own I feed them a bottle
4-7 play time
8 bath taken a bath seems to make them tired and sleep better at night
8:30 bottle
9 bed for the night