Scary Dreams

My sweet 3 1/2 year old has started having some bad dreams. The other day he woke up and came out to tell me how a bear was chasing him and his cousin and the bear was trying to eat their feet. Then this morning, the first thing he told me when he woke up was about a man that he saw looking in his window! I tried to reassure him and we talked about it being a dream. But tonight when it was bed time, he did not want to be left alone. He started crying that the man was going to look in his window again. My poor baby! I did my best to reassure him. I told him that grandma just came home (they live next door) and that she checked and nobody was there. I left his door cracked open with the hall light on.

What else can I do to get him through this? Is it a phase? He has been sick this last week...could the scary vivid dreams be because of that? I don't want to develop any new bad habits about bedtime, but I also don't want him to be scared. He genuinely seemed worried...not just stalling.

Any advice? Thanks!

 

Poor thing! It could be a phase or because he is sick but he is the age that children typically start having nightmares.
I think you're doing the right thing by reassuring him and letting him have the door open.
A good tactic when you are talking through the nightmare(s) during the daytime is to encourage him to make up better endings to the dreams. So either you can give it a happy end-the bear did not want to eat their feet, it just wanted to play. They made friends and the bear took him and his cousin on a special teddy bears picnic-or give him the power to deal with the bad thing-when he sees the bad man looking in the window he gets superpowers. He catches the man and puts him in jail. He returns all the treasure the man had stolen, gets a special medal and everyone cheers him. Try and let him come up with most of the ideas for what could happen. I can remember waking up from bad dreams as a child and sitting in my bed doing this (making up happy endings) until I felt better and could go back to sleep.

ETA: I found This article that talks about what I mean. It suggests getting them to draw the altered ending as well. The story book it mentions-Tell Me Something Happy Before I go to Sleep-is really sweet. The idea of thinking happy thoughts before bed is a good one, and might help your son.

 

Oh no Rhea, I'm so sorry! :hug99: The only experience I have with it is that I have been like this my whole life. I'm not saying this to discourage you, but just to show that it does happen. For me, it's MUCH worse when I'm sick or very stressed out. I do as much as I can to think happy/pleasant stuff before I go to bed. I even close my eyes and try to remember a happy moment before I go to sleep. I'm not sure if this helps you at all, I just wanted to share my own personal experience. :hug99:

 

QUOTE(Twin nanny @ Apr 24 2008, 03:07 AM) [snapback]736643[/snapback]
Poor thing! It could be a phase or because he is sick but he is the age that children typically start having nightmares.
I think you're doing the right thing by reassuring him and letting him have the door open.
A good tactic when you are talking through the nightmare(s) during the daytime is to encourage him to make up better endings to the dreams. So either you can give it a happy end-the bear did not want to eat their feet, it just wanted to play. They made friends and the bear took him and his cousin on a special teddy bears picnic-or give him the power to deal with the bad thing-when he sees the bad man looking in the window he gets superpowers. He catches the man and puts him in jail. He returns all the treasure the man had stolen, gets a special medal and everyone cheers him. Try and let him come up with most of the ideas for what could happen. I can remember waking up from bad dreams as a child and sitting in my bed doing this (making up happy endings) until I felt better and could go back to sleep.

ETA: I found This article that talks about what I mean. It suggests getting them to draw the altered ending as well. The story book it mentions-Tell Me Something Happy Before I go to Sleep-is really sweet. The idea of thinking happy thoughts before bed is a good one, and might help your son.


Thank you! That is really helpful and I think I will try it. Last night putting him to bed I did tell him to dream of puppies and rainbows This morning he hasn't mentioned any bad dreams or the man in the window. So maybe there is something to that....Thank you again.



Michelle - ((hugs)) Thanks for your thoughts. I'm sorry you go through it too.

 

Hi Rea,

How's he been doing? I think Zoe's ideas were great, and we usually talk about what sorts of dreams they may have before tucking them in anyway, so it's nice to see it's 'official' as a good thing to do. It sounds great to get them to alter the ending....they are so imaginative at this age! GL!