scared and sad about other people comments

I'm 31 week pregnant with my first babies, boy/girl. I just hang up the phone with my sister in law, who was one child, and all
I hear from her and others is "oh my god all the hard work, I don't know how you are going to do it.. I have one child and is tough, I can't imagine
two babies at the same time"

Comments like this one upset me and scared me at the same. I can't wait to meet my babies and I wish I would be 100% happy, but
I am so scared of handling two babies at the same time. No one ever comes back and says to me how beautiful it will be, they only
mention all the hard work.. maybe is hormones.. but I need to hear positive things from those who are experienced with twins

 

You know what ? Dont be scared .. you have the right to be a little nervous .. but you, just like all of us, are going to do just fine ! WE all made it through and so wont YOU. It isnt easy .. but very rewarding. I am a single mom with twins .. and had to do it ALONE .. and everyone is still alive and well. Tell those people to hush ..

 

Don't listen to them. Everyone has a story to tell, some peoples have it worse then others. My friends tried to scare me about the labor and delivery. It was no biggie. The main thing you need to have is love and patience, just go for it. Try not to stress too much because I won't lie they will be a handful at times, but my god you are going to love it sooooo much!!!

After all is said and done, you are going to come out of this saying "I'm so glad I have two"

It is scary, but will be so exciting too, you just wait and see. I hope, no, I know all will be good with you and your new adventure as a twin mommy!

 

Everyone doesn't understand the joys you are going to feel watching the milestones, not once, but twice!
Is it harder? Sure. But the rewards are double.

Ignore them. :hug99:

 

I can honestly say it is no where near as bad as I thought it would be. I still think I have it easier than alot of people who complain about one. You'll be surprised what you can handle and it is sooooo wonderful I wouldn't trade it for anything. I really wonder why people who don't know think they should "warn" others. Sure there have been some moments (which you also get with just one) but I could go on for pages how great it is. You get tons of great ideas from everyone on this site and lots of support. You'll do just fine and you deserve to be 100% happy. Good luck!

 

First of all... :hug99:

That is what I'm sure 99% of us heard while we were pregnant! It takes time for it to all sink in that life goes on and its not that bad!! Its actually great!!

Benefits:

Twice the hugs
Twice the kisses
When one doesn't want to cuddle, you have a backup!
Two babies to brag about how cute they are!! And all the cute things they do!
you're having boy/girl, you get to dress one in cute frilly outfits and still have you're little man!!

The list goes on but you get the idea!!

Sure there are twice as many dirty diapers, but the good outways those things. And the first few months are the toughest, but they ARE manageable and you WILL get through it!! Having twins is a very special thing that you get to do. Its the best thing that has ever happened to me for sure! They are wonderful and I couldn't imagine it any other way!

W@QL@222222223<<<<<- Thats from Austin, grabbing the keyboard...lol

Don't let the people who don't know what having twins is all about get you down! We are the ones who know and we are telling you how wonderful it is!!

More :hug99:

Its gonna be great, you'll see!!!

Shannon

 

I was nervous too. And there are more challenges faced with twins, but seriously? They are the best things ever. I really can't imagine life without them. Seeing them play together (now- and sometimes it is more eye poking!) and talk to each other amazes me everyday.

Another thing to keep in mind is that personalities are different. Your SIL may have a very cranky/colicky baby. Your two may be extremely laid back and easy going. In that case, I'd think your two would be easier than her one.

Take a deep breath. And, hey, you'll always have TS!

 

While twins are hard work, they are AWESOME! I honestly cannot picture my life and our family dynamic with only one of them. Yes, it's difficult, but the rewards are twice as nice! My little guys are the best of friends and play together so nicely. I simply cannot express how wonderful their twin bond is, and how magical it is to witness.

You will be an awesome mom!

 

Hey, you know what? I adopted my twins. That means I made an active choice to take on two babies at once. I had the option of saying no, but I welcomed the opportunity with open arms. Being the mom of twins is a very special and elite club. It is INDEED wonderful and beautiful and when your babies arrive your heart is going to be filled to bursting with love and so many other things you may never be able to name or identify.

Yes, I was nervous. I was a firt time mom, and had no idea of what I was getting into I just knew I wanted babies and was so happy. It seems a little overwhelming, and the first few months might be very difficult, but you will figure it all out, develop a routine that works for you and your babies and it will all fall into place. You will get used to doing everything twice and it will be no big deal.

Do not take advice from anyone who has not parented twins. They know not of what they speak!

 

you will be surprised how quickly you will adapt.

You have been blessed with twins. It is worth all the work just to see them smile at you at the end of the day.

 

Like everyone else said… don’t worry… my singleton was WAY harder than the twins are… so maybe your sil just has a hard baby, and you will be blessed with 2 easy… like me….

 

You are going to be nervous. We all were. And that is ok. Don't listen to those who don't have twins about what it will be like, because they do not know, they may think they do, but they don't. Just think about looking into four eyes instead of two...thing about two smiles instead of one...there are so many positive things that even on the bad days, it is more than worth it

Dianna

 

QUOTE(e mauro @ Jul 31 2008, 06:28 PM) [snapback]907239[/snapback]
Like everyone else said… don’t worry… my singleton was WAY harder than the twins are… so maybe your sil just has a hard baby, and you will be blessed with 2 easy… like me….

Same here my DS2 was much harder than the twins. And still is What a blessing to have two at one time.

 

:hug99: I felt the exact same way when I was pg! Around eight months, I finally decided to let it go one ear and out the other. Know what else? After they are born, and you're doing the caregiving for them, you can look people straight in the eye and say, "it's great!" People will have nothing to say to you then. If they do say something, you will feel much more confident in your response. It'll be easier to let it roll off your back. I can't wait to read your birth story later. :hug99:

 

Having twins is BEAUTIFUL!

I'm saying this on a really challenging day. Still, I wouldn't trade the experience for anything in the world.

You'll have two babies to love.

You'll see them learn to love each other.

You'll become efficient (trust me, you will!).

And you can bask in the fun of all the people who admire you for the work of twins (even though it'll be a blast a lot of the time).

 

don't let other people upset you. go take a look at this thread if you want to feel better: http://www.twinstuff.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=86073. i am the happiest i've ever been in my life. i absolutely love having two babies! you'll find that everything you're afraid of will eventually come naturally to you. i never thought i'd leave the house. now we go out like twice every day. you just get used to things and then they become second nature. i know it's scary but i'm telling you--it's a blast!!!

best of luck, jl

 

:hug99: I was really nervous, too. I had a singleton, and then twins. In some ways, the twins are a lot harder than DD1. IN some ways, DD1 is a lot harder than the twins. But they are all wonderful, and well worth it. Seeing them grow and learn, and hearing those first Mama's and "i love you" made my heart melt. Having twins is awesome!

 

By the time yours are 3 months old, you will be able to run circles around your friends who claim they struggle with singeltons. Having twins is the most joyous, rewarding, hilarious, tense, overwhelming, motivating, insert your adjective here, experience I have ever had in my life. After a few days, you will seriously be asking yourself "what if we only had one?".

Yes, it's tough, but I firmly believe that mulitple moms are CHOSEN because we are the ones who can take it and make it the best darn thing EVER!

Don't let your friends get you down...that kind of response is a "stock" response for most people...I think it's a combination of fear and jealousy...if she says it again, just say that is why I was blessed with twins...because I know I can handle it, have fun doing it and look fabulous while doing it!

YOU WILL KICK BUTT!

 

Don't let people's comments get to you. You can handle twins. Good thing is you as a first time mother and me don't know any different. You just do what you gotta do. My girls are awesome and sometimes I can't believe I got so lucky as to have two at the same time. I look forward to them having each other to grow and learn with.

 

Do you have any other children? I noticed in your siggy you didn't have any others listed. My twins (b/g) were my first. I was scared to death. But it's not necessary. It's all I ever knew once they showed up, and it was fine. Me and my best friend had our babies 5 weeks apart. Me first with the twins, her 5 weeks later with her son. She had a WAY harder time than me. Maybe it's just because we got them on a schedule and me and DH really worked as a team since there were two of them. But it's really not bad. And it's so amazing to watch them together.

Of course it's overwhelming, esp as a first time parent, but you will be amazed at how well you do, and at how much you can love two very special people!

 

Our twin boys were our last two, but I can tell you that I wasn't any less nervous or scared! Now that they're here, this has been the most amazing and fun experience of our lives! It's no secret that it's a lot of work those first few months, but once you get the hang of it, you'll be stunned at how much you're capable of. I have loved every minute of this! I love walking into their room in the mornings or after naps and seeing TWO happy faces! I love baths with two babies who love to splash and play, and I really love it when they crawl all over us and laugh and play with each other.

Many, many hugs! You're going to be great!

 

I knew it was going to be hard- but didn't know what hard really was before the twins. With that being said- it has been the greatest, most rewarding, most amazing experience. I won't lie- those first three months were BRUTAL for me. I was 37, was used to doing whatever, whenever and these were my first. It was overwhelming and I cried at times, yelled at times, wished them away at times- and now I look back on that (what I can remember anyway) and am so proud and thankful for all I went through and how much joy I now have that I never knew existed. You will do great! Take it one day at a time and be thankful everyday for the unique blessing you have been given. And when you get frustrated or feel alone- log on here. You will find support from some of the most amazing women I have ever "met".

 

I was nervous, too. I think just about everyone is...and I had a singleton first, so I knew it would be more difficult than that. Honestly, you will be amazed at what you are capable of as a mommy! You'll love those little babies so much and you'll just go into "mommy mode" and do what needs to be done to meet the needs of your babies. Will it be hard? Yes. Will you be in tears sometimes? Most likely. Will you look at those adorable little faces and think how did I get so lucky as to get TWO babies? Absolutely!

You'll be fine! And try to remember, when you're in the thick of it those first few months, that the time goes by so fast.

I'm in shock that my baby boys are almost 7 months old already. I still can't believe that they are that old!

Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and ignore all that negativity!! :hug99:

 

QUOTE(JakeandPeyton @ Jul 31 2008, 10:44 PM) [snapback]907197[/snapback]
Everyone doesn't understand the joys you are going to feel watching the milestones, not once, but twice!
Is it harder? Sure. But the rewards are double.

Ignore them. :hug99:


Well said!!! Also, I always get those comments about "how did you do it with 2 infants" and stuff like that. I just tell them that I didn't know any different, so having 2 infants at once was "normal" for me. My twins were my first babies and I didn't know what taking care of a singleton was like, so I didn't have anything to compare that to.

HUGS to you, you will do just fine!!!! Besides, we are always here to help/support and answer any questions you have!

 

I see other singleton moms and they look so frazzled and twin moms have it all under control. Sometimes I think we are less friendly out in public since we get LOTS of attention so we tend to ignore people more than a singleton mom, but If a pregnant woman would come up to me and say she was having twins it would be a different story.

I'm watching them on the floor right now rolling around one trying to tickle the other one's tummy, always knowing where the other one is.... it is great. I think if you have one child you fill up your time with one, if you have two you fill your time with two, and so on. I'm sure a singleton mom is busy but I think with two you might be at home a bit more but you slow down and enjoy them more than throwing them into the car/stroller and going everywhere. I find twin moms tend to have their babies on a better sleep schedule and feeding so while things are more routine we can have more time than a singleton on a poor schedule.


I love it

Heather

 

I had a singleton first and was terrified about how hard twins were going to be. I wish I had known how much I love being a twin mummy and how special two (or more) babies are. It truly is the most wonderful thing that has happened to me! The beginning is hard but it was hard with just one!

 

You know what, having twins is hard work, BUT it is the best work you will ever do! You will be able to handle two babies, it is hard, but not impossible as some will have you think! Heck, you know what makes me feel good, when I tell people I breastfeed, cloth diaper, make my own baby food, take care of twins and a 4 year old and they say, "How do you do it, I can barely handle 1?!" It makes me feel great knowing that I am doing all of this and it is hard, but well worth it! The best part, when they look at you with all that LOVE! You will be fine and when things are tough you will have all of us here at TS to get encouragement from!

 

Just like everyone else I was scared to death of having two. And then I ran into a twin mom at Babies r us and she told me how rewarding it was and how much she loved being a twin mom. I could of kissed her right there! It changed my entire outlook. I really did expect the worst and even with two colicky refluxy babies it has been wonderful! I have two older kids and I wouldn't trade any of my experiences at all. I love having the twins. And can I tell you getting double smiles is the best thing ever!

You will be able to do it. It really won't be as bad as you think. When it comes you won't have any other choice but to love and care for them. Just embrace it and remember to have a sense of humor. You can't do anything to change it so don't let it bother you, it will only make it worse.

But I do make sure that everytime I see a mom that is pregnant with twins, that "it is not as hard as people tell you it is and its the best thing that has ever happened in my life". I know you will be doing the same thing.

Sending good thoughts your way!

 

I'm right there with you! :hug99: 31 wks and so sick of people telling me how hard it's going to be and I've been getting weird advice too. But I just sit there and smile and think of the t-shirt I really should get that says "One baby? I laugh at your one baby". I guess I'm really bad 'cause I'll go home and call my mom and just laugh at some of the advice I get!

Anyway, I think people just don't know what to say. But some do know. Like the lady from my home town who had twins when I was a teenager. When my mom told her I was expecting twins she said the coolest thing: "If anyone can do it, Vivian can." I'll tell you, that means more to me than anything anyone else has said so far! Sure it's going to be tough, and all that, but I find either the person doesn't know what it's like to have twins, or doesn't know me!

Don't let them bring you down! You're going to be just fine!

 

I remember those comments when I was pregnant too. I just tried to ignore them, these are my first and I knew that they would be tough, and I knew I would end up in tears somedays, but honestly nothing prepares you for motherhood, like actual motherhood. For me those first 3.5mnths were tough, the lack of sleep was the hardest part, but now things are great, lots of smiles and fun. They have personalities and can interact more.
yes it will be tough, just know that, accept it, and know that it does get better as they get older. I use to have single-baby-envy, but not anymore, I can't imagine not having two babies around now, it would seem boring and empty with just one. They learn patience, sharing, loving and caring on a whole new level than if you would have had only had one.

GL - and come back and vent/ask questions here often, it's what got me through the first few tough months!

 

I heard soooo much of this when I was pregnant. And a lot of "you're crazy" like this was all a planned thing!

You are going to be fine. Yes, the first few weeks are very hard, you don't sleep a lot, you cry a lot, you have crazy dreams (I did anyway, including a very involved one about sheep trying to kill us!) But it is soooo much fun too. And it gets easier every single day. For me, it was a really rough first month, and then it is just better and better all the time from then. The first smiles, first laughs, the first time they smiled at each other, and at 6 months they are amazing little people and I don't even think about the work. So, when people act like you are so unlucky to have twins, just think to yourself how lucky you really are!

 

I think we all heard some variation of this. Just wait...after the babies come, you'll get irritated when people talk about how they have it so hard with their kiddos compared to you(I get so irritated with my SIL who keeps me telling me how hard it is with two(she has a 2 yo and an 8 month old)...blah, blah, blah...um...I have two and number 3 on the way)! It's an endless cycle!

Anyway...the twins being my first, as they are yours will be great. You will know nothing else and I think that benefits us new mommies to a degree (of course, there are definite pluses to having done this before).

It is nerve-wracking, stressful, and sometimes overwhelming. But raising any child is...whether it's one, two, three, however many. I think MOMs tend to handle things differently because we are MOMs and you'll find your groove and what works for you and your family. It'll come...plus that's what we're here for...to support each other!

You won't think twice about the twins (ha...no pun intended) once they're here and you get those double smiles, double hugs, when they hug each other or share something with each for the first time, etc...it's worth it and only a select group of us get to experience that!

 

People who don't have twins will never uderstand the joys of having 2 babies. Yes, it's hard but you get through it. I love having twins and could not picture my life with only 1 baby. I like to think I'm a little stronger and more tolerant now because of having twins. You will be fine!! We all survived and so will you!!

 

Of course it's hard! BUt when I look at my boys I am so overwhelmed with love and I am so in love with them and I could not imagine my life without them! I feel sorry for those with only one baby to love. I feel so lucky and so blessed that I have two to love, and two to love me back. Having twins has been the most AMAZING thing that has EVER happened to me. You will see....

 

What your sister doesn't know is that twins are easier than one.

Now granted the first couple months are rough. There's two. But I got mine on the same schedule, breastfed them at the same time and everything.

Then when they get a couple months old, they start to entertain each other. Mine would just lay and stare at each other. I also found that my twins were much more content babies than my singleton. I have a freind who has had two sets of twins and one singleton and she agrees with me, twins are easier than one!

Tell that anyone who says anything negative about twins to you.