Scared about their 18 month appointment

My kids will be 16 months on the 1st. I am already scared about what the pedi will say come their 18 month appointment in two months and a couple of days. My kids do not talk, I mean they blabber, but they don't really say anything, that I can understand, except "Dada" and "Dah- wo wo" (Dog woof woof) They say this for EVERY animal under the sun! They don't even say Mama, which is very weird since I am with them 24/7, it kind of hurts my feelings too! My son does know how to follow a few directions when I say "Where is your nose? Where is your tongue? Where is your eye?" He knows all of these, but my daughter does not. They don't listen to me at all, when I say NO they continue to do what they aren't supposed to be doing. Then when I give one a timeout the other knows what that one is getting in trouble for so they go do it. (I hold them in my lap hands down for one minute) This does not even phase my daughter, I think she enjoys time out! HELP... I think the pedi is going to think I am the worst mom ever alive!

 

Melissa, I feel for you. Don't beat yourself up. I think it's also important to remember that language is more than just verbalizing words that others can understand. A lot of language is nonverbal communication. My friend's daughter was a late verbalizer--didn't start talking until 2, but she clearly understand things and she used several signs. Even if they are a little behind on language, this is very young, and they will be able to get help.

As for the time out issue, maybe you could try time out in a place where they are isolated rather than in your lap. Maybe in a crib or playpen away from the action would work better.

Try not to worry too much.

 

I agree with Rachel, Melissa. First of all your pedi will not think you are the worst mother in the world. As for language, all the kids develop it differently and at different times, yours might take off in language and understanding between now and 18 months. Think of your pedi as someone there to help you and not judge you, if you are still concerned about their language and understanding at the visit, ask him/her about it and see what they suggest.
Like Rachel, my friend's oldest son was a late verbalizer and he did not really speak until he turned 2. I also agree that you may have to do timeouts away from the action as well. :hug:

 

I agree with the above two posters, every child develops at different rates. :hug: Your ped will not think you are the worst at all!! Don't even go there. :hug: Just keep working with them on things, they'll get it. Two months may not seem like alot of time but for them alot can happen in two months. :good:

 

Don't you hate how as mothers, we are so hard on ourselves? Drives me batty-but I am the same way!

At our 18 month appt, our pedi was concerned that the boys didn't say mama/dada in the right context. Seriously-they didn't-but they could say it! He told us to contact EI. I mean-that wasn't the only problem-they had no words besides mama, dada, dog/duck. So we contacted EI and they qualified. No big deal. Now at 22 months, they have over 30 words. Personally-I think it just comes with time. My boys understand everything we say, just don't verbalize it. Why would they if they still get their point across? And two months is a long time for them to have words! Don't worry-every kid is different!

As for the "no" thing-my kids still don't listen! They think it's funny-so I'm no help there! And the pedi will not think you are a bad mother at all! I yell at one for biting-or attempting to-and he laughs!

You are not alone!!!

 

I needed to see this post! I'm right there with you, our babies are day older than yours... 16 months on the 30th, and I felt a little beat up at their 15 mo. visit... the pedi wasn't impressed with their babbling or I should say lack of it... and mentioned that they should have had 3 words by then. we don't even get a mama or dada.. w/my dd I think she's starting to say "booof booof" for woof woof of the dog... but nothing for us - ah well. but like you said they understand what you say. I can say "sit down" and they'll do it... they might not stay, but they understand. I'm also impressed that one of yours knows body parts... of course each child knows their own things. Most of the time when I say let's pray for our food, they fold their little hands - so cute!!

I think I try too many things... I try to do animals & their sounds, then I'll try body parts, colors our names etc, and maybe I'm trying too much, and need to focus. or maybe they are just storing everything in their heads and will start speaking in unfragmented sentences!

good luck staying calm. you're doing a great job!

 

The Pedi definitely wont think you are the worst mom! The fact that you are already concerned shows alot about you! :hug:
As PP have said 2 months is a LONG time to learn new things and develop more words. Here are my helpful hints if you arent already doing them:
1. Describe everything. (its exhausting at first but it gets easier). Now we have to change our diaper. Now we have to get dressed. Lets put on our shoes. This is your shoe. this is your other shoe. Can you say Shoe? Are you ready to take a bath? Lets take a bath. Oh look you are in the bath! The bath is over now.
2. Read books- LOTS OF THEM. Over and over and over again.
3. Teach a new body part a week. Use the same repetition. This is your nose. Nose. Nose. Where is your nose. Show me your nose. ONce they finally learn nose, add a new one

We were saying NO a lot at our house. We quickly stopped when the twins started telling us NO and waving their finger at us like we did them :blush: Instead I followed another TSers advice about trying to say things in a postive way. So instead of NO we dont stand up in the bath tub you say something like " please sit on your bottom" or " we sit on our bottoms when we are in the bath". This is also hard, but gets easier with practice.

Im no expert by any means but these are the things that are working for us. Take it one day at a time and be proud of whatever small feats you accomplish

 

LOL! I'm cracking up. The boys keep pestering my DH for constant (I mean non-stop) attention, and he tells Eli "Go" and points his finger away. Now Eli runs around pointing his finger in the air saying GO!! He even did it when he got mad at his Dad.

 

Wow, fabulous advice!! I asked my pedi at their 1st year checkup how many words they should know by 18-months. He told me he wouldn't be concerned if they were just babbling then! Of course I want them to have some words but it put me at ease. Every pedi is different and every baby is different. Just keep working with them and loving them like you are, you're doing a great job!!!

 

I loved the advice from E&Ms mom!! thanks for explaining it in simple terms! I do most of that too, but not the repetition, and I find myself trying to teach body parts, all at once. Makes way more sense to start with one and keep adding.

It is good to hear everyone's opinion and to hear that some pedi's are not concerned w/the babbling at 18 mo... I hope we can get ours to learn to say some words by then though...

 

My two are about where yours are. I'm not concerned, but my pediatrician recommended that we have them evaluated by early intervention, so we're doing that (I had to do it for DD for another issue anyway). We'll know next week so I'll make sure to post about it to let people know what EI really expects at 18 months. I don't even think they will qualify but we'll see.

 

This is exactly what I was going to say. And you are certainly NOT the worst mother. :hug:

 

Mine are 18 months, they go next week for their WBV, and they don't have many words either. One says nose, and can make some animal sounds, and say all done, but the other doesn't say many recognizable words. Sometimes I can figure out what she might be saying by the context we are in, but I wouldn't say its consistent. At 15 months my ped was not worried at all, he also has twins (9 now) so he is VERY understanding about twins. He says second siblings in general, and especially twins tend to talk later. So we'll see what he says next week. They both comprehend stuff, one actually listens fairly well- the other laughs and does it anyway! I think it will come in time, but we'll see what he says! Glad to see we're not the only ones though!

 

Awww thank you everyone for all of your advice and stories. I thought I was the only one! I try to repeat what I say, but it doesn't help that I am a very shy/quiet person in nature. Sure it's just my kids, but I don't talk a lot, but yet I expect them to talk ::Shrugs:: I am going to try to do better. ::Sigh:: It's hard being a mommy sometimes! So worth it though!

 

My DD just started saying Mama, but I don't think she associates it with me. Everything before was Dada & now it's Dada Mama all running together. DS hasn't said Mama but one time & I think that was a fluke. He doesn't have many words either.....except we think he's saying "Sh*t". He gets that from his father!

 

LOL ought oh!!!