Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy

SO with Easter right around the corner, the boys have been talking quite a bit about the Easter Bunny. While on our way to dinner tonight Will (age 9) asked me "Mom, is the Easter Bunny real? I don't think he is real. I know that you and Dad are the Tooth Fairies and that you leave us $ for our teeth" I tried to get him off the subject since Grant (age 7) was right there in front of him. They (William and Isaiah) continued to talk about the EB, TF, and SC...and what they might get from the EB on Easter. I realized that maybe they were getting a little old for all of that and told them simply "Let's not talk about this now...if you have more questions you can ask me after we get home." I really don't think that Grant "got" alot of that conversation...between the fact that he is only 7 and that he is mild/moderate autistic and doesn't understand/comprehend as much when he hears it...I think we may be "safe" from him knowing.

So when we got home I pulled Will and Zae aside while Grant was in the shower and asked if they thoughtt he EB was real. William said "Yah I think so" and Isaiah said "Oh Yes he's real!" I asked "Is Santa real?" to which both said "Yes!" I said that yes Dad and I are the TF. I told them that the EB and SC are real if you believe in them. I had to answer questions of "How does SC and the EB get in our house when it's locked? What about ppl without a fireplace/chimney? How does he get in our little chimney...SC is too fat to fit in that small hole? How do they go around the whole world in just one night"... Etc... I told them that it is all of it happens b/c of "Christmas/Easter Magic" ...which to you and me as adults is the fun, magical spirit of the holidays...to kids it is flying raindeer and fat guys going down a hole the size of an orange. :laughing: That seemed to tide them over for a while.

I said that I believe in Santa b/c I feel he is real (I didn't go into the rational with them that I feel this way in that he is a fun aspect of Christmas and that he...the character...brings joy and smiles to people in the holidays...they are only 9 after all ) But I do feel that Santa can be a real, fun part of the holiday as long as we don't lose focus on the true meaning. I told them that they should keep the "Mom and Dad are the TF" a secret b/c Grant still believes and Megan will too here in a couple years.

So back to the question at hand:
How old is too old? When did you find out abt SC, EB, TF, etc? When did/will you tell your kids? Should we tell them or let them find out on thier own?

Again...when they DO find out I will be sure to tell them not to "spread the word" I don't want them to spoil it for thier little bro and sis and friends at school that still beleive.

 

My oldest DD is 10.5 years old and still believes in the tooth fairy, Easter Bunny and Santa. I am not planning to tell her, she will find out on her own eventually. I think these are some of the fun and magical things about being a kid. And I plan to let her believe in them as long as she does.

 

My DD will be 11 next month, she knows. She busted the tooth fairy in action about a month ago. I figured since the door was open for the conversation I would just rip the band-aid off quickly with the rest of the mythical creatures. She was bummed, but really enjoyed helping me pick out some Easter basket stuff as the "big kid of the house". She was threatened with coal in her Easter eggs and tooth fairy pillow, as well as the stocking, if I even thought for a minute she had said anything to her little brothers.

 

My girls have asked and I just swap the question to "Do you think he is real". I do think they are getting to the age that they need to know the truth. My kids are more concerned that Mickey is real.

 

We've never done any of the holiday characters for multiple reasons. My kids are well aware that mom and dad are the tooth fairy/Easter Bunny/Santa Claus all rolled into one. We joke about when one of the kids looses a tooth that "mommy needs to get her fairy wings out" and stuff like that.

Dh's parents never did any of the characters with their kids. My parents tried, but I never believed it. Too many things never made sense to me. Like, if Santa brought all the presents why are mom and dad so concerned with xmas shopping? Or why do I have to tell mom a list after I tell Santa? Or why can we not look in the trunk of mom's car? It just never added up. I could totally see Sarah being like that also. She is extremely good at taking all these little tiny pieces and putting them together and coming up with the answer. Even when we've thought she wasn't old enough to come of with many answers that she has come up with. And when she's searching for these answers, she can smell an answer that isn't the truth and keep asking about until either I refuse to answer or she gets to the bottom of it. Timothy will notice inconsistencies, he just doesn't ask if he thinks it's in his own best interest to be quiet.

We've just taken the attitude with the kids that it's a fun pretend that some grown-ups do with their kids. Each mom and dad get to choose for their kids so don't say anything at school. It's silly and we joke about it. We enjoy the holiday movies and go on with life. My kids know that I'm the one taking care of their Easter baskets, so I'll get the hugs and thank yous instead of all the credit going to a mythical creature that didn't do a thing.

Marissa

 

My kids are only 5 and they do believe in Santa and the Easter bunny, but I think doubts are already starting to dawn -- largely because I keep slipping up and making references to having bought things they got in their stockings (which are officially from Santa). It's just too hard to remember what I bought and what "Santa" bought. I was also very ambivalent about encouraging them to believe in Santa anyway, because I knew at some point it would come down to me having to either tell them the truth or lie. (I know this is a very loaded topic...)

Anyway, when they start to suspect, I'll tell them.

I think it may be easier to have them believe in the Tooth Fairy, because the logistics are not so complicated. She comes in the house, takes the tooth, and leaves some money -- that's it. No reindeer, no eggs, no having to visit millions of children all in one night, etc. :ibiggrin:

 

Mine are nearly 8 and still believe although been questioning the easter bunny this year. They left a note (and Easter bunny replied), so they decided he must be real. My mom always told me mainly with Santa if I didn't believe I wouldn't get presents so I gradually figured it out maybe around 9ish but never admitted to my mom, i was never traumatized by finding out.

Side question does anyone know if the easter bunny is male or female girls keep asking and I'm not sure, but they are leaving him/her a note tonight tks

 

This is how it is at our house too.

All kids figure it out eventually and so I don't think there is any certain age .. but it must be hard when the older kids figure it out and they want to tell the younger ones.

 

My kids already do not believe in the Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy and they are 6. They are just naturally skeptical and have a pretty firm understanding of fantasy vs. reality thanks to their love of literature! I think our days our numbered with Santa. When they ask, I do what Chrissy says and ask them back, "Do YOU think he is real?"

As a funny aside, last weekend in church, Ben elbows my husband during the sermon to ask, "Hey Dad, is Santa nocturnal?"

 

Mine still believe at almost seven. They have asked and I have just asked them back what they think. I have one the is very in touch with his imagination and one the is more analytical together they sort of balance themselves out! I was able to participate w/my younger brothers and it was fun to be part of that and let them believe in the possibility of something outside of all of us that is good and hopeful. As your older kids figure it out, bring them into the tradition. I loved helping my mom.

 

This is the same for my kids. We still give them wrapped presents for Christmas, they get items for Easter that are hidden, and we put things under their pillow from the toothmommy or toothdaddy depending in who does it. They know the truth but sometimes they will still say they believe and that's their chose. They do know not to tell anyone the truth and not to ruin the fun for the other kids. My niece 7 and nephew 11 still believe and their father has no intention to tell them the truth anytime soon. I am guessing he is waiting until they figure it out on their own.

 

I don't know why, but we have never done the Easter Bunny. I didn't grow up with it, Easter in South America is quite different. We do the tooth fairy and Santa, so it isn't an ideological thing. My kids wake up Easter morning and hunt for their baskets and then their eggs, that is how my Dh did it as a kid.

For us, Holy Week is so busy, I work in a church, so it is a crazy week for me. It is also the central focus of our faith, so we do a lot of activities relating to Christ and the resurrection, that for some reason we kind of "forgot" to do the Easter Bunny thing. :unknw:

 

I didn't have any of it (other than the tooth fairy) because I am Jewish, and there is not Santa or Easter Bunny in my world.

But my boys are almost 9 and do believe. It is fun for me to see them get excited for the Easter Bunny and Santa. As for gifts, they know that Santa brings a few things while mom and dad help him out by getting the rest.

 

I live with little skeptics! LOL.

At 5.5 one DD said this year "Mom you know that is just a person in a Bunny suit right? Dont tell the little kids!" LOL. Her sister 'thinks' he is not real, but wants to believe. You can tell by her ?s that she is doubting, but wants it to be real. She loves fantasy pretend stories, so it is all up her alley.

Santa is still real as is the tooth fairy. I have a feeling Santa will be called out next winter. Tooth fairy may be awhile longer since she just started to visit our house.



But my kiddos have been discussing and pondering things for a few years as part of our daily lives (both are fairly science focused) so I think we will be found out soon due to inquiring minds wanting to know and realizing that there are too many 'holes' in the stories! My logical , skeptical DD will not stop thinking it until she either figures it out or finds out......I get " How?" Why?" "When?" "What...." all day long.


I answer the same as some PP-- -"What do you think?" and so far that has cut it, but DD1 does say " Mooom! you are not answering MY question!". So the days of answering like that are numbered!

 

My oldest found out around nine because kids at school were talking about Santa not being real. She asked me if he was real, I asked her if she believed in him and she said "I want to but it doesn't make sense". I told her that he did exist long ago but now the story is still being carried out by the parents. I told her the whole season is so magical because we all want to believe. Once she found out about that she figured out the tooth fairy and Easter bunny. I think Jack who is 8 is figuring it out. And kenna said thank you to me for all her Easter candy so its only a matter of time I'm sure. Kids at school can be pretty cruel to those that still believe at an older age.

 

My kids still believe but I do think there is an age that is too old. for example - a while back my niece still believed in santa at age 14. I thought that was way to too old! She was home schooled so not around other kids very often. and to be fair I don't know if she had figured it out but not told her parents yet or if she truly still believed.

 

I've been thinking about this lately because my second grader has mentioned a couple of times this year that a couple kids at school told her that Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny are their parents..... and this kind of freaked me out since she's my oldest and I've never had to deal with this before (plus my kindergartener was standing right next to her at the time) I just said something like, "that's silly" and "that's so sad that they don't believe...) I have mixed feelings because I want to keep this alive for her for at least another year, but I feel guilty like I'm lying to her and I hope that she doesn't feel mad like I didn't tell her the truth when she really finds out. I remember being really traumatized/disappointed when I found out as a kid....My mom tells me how I cried and cried!!! And I kinda get mad that the kids at school are telling her that....it's one thing if they don't believe but they don't have to ruin it for everyone else! I feel like their parents should tell them to keep it a secret so that it doesn't ruin it for others (not that they will necessarily listen) Hopefully she will keep on believing for a while longer!

shannon

 

That's how I learned... other kids. And I felt like an idiot. Kinda stinks that you have to worry about your kids but others too. We're not really doing the Santa thing, sure we're talking about Santa but we never told them the presents came from Santa/Easter Bunny or anything. And we really won't... For me it's one of those things that can really ruin your trust in your parents and your self-esteem (like in my case!). But we'll try and make our kids understand that it's important not to ruin it for other kids, I can just hope that they get it

 

I learned from my 4th grade teacher. She said to the whole class "Isn't it funny how little kids believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny?" I really don't think it was her place to do that.

My kids still believe and we'll keep it up. I love the mystery and magic that they seem to think these characters have. One time Meghan tried to fool the tooth fairy by putting a white folded piece of paper under her pillow. She got a note from the TF that said "You can't fool me!" (She is still waiting to lose that first tooth! )

 

well we don't lie to our kids about anything. the boys have asked us a few years back they were about 5 when they asked if santa was real(it was xmas time). if santa was real, i replied with do you think he is real? it was k that has asked. he said i believe he is real,and i said well then he will still come and see you. about that time n said i think he is real momma. and i said the same thing. they were both talking and said momma so and so doesn't believe hes real. and i said ok thats alright. some people don't believe he is,some people don't celebrate christmas at all.
they were like really? of course they were 5 but they are very smart(in advanced classes) so we talked more about it.
i said so while you think its odd that they dont believe he is true. they may think that you are odd for believing that he is real. they both sat back and then said that was perfect momma that made alot of sense. good talk mom,thanks. lol

again this year they asked about the easter bunny. usually it comes up with each holiday. and my reply is always the same. and so far they say they do stil believe. they do know that santa does the stocking. but that i also add a few things. i buy stuff through out the year.

 

Just had the exact same thing happen with one of my girls only she is grade 2. They have a retired teacher who helps in their classroom (and it was kindergarten so should know better). Decided to tell Jessica how when her children were little how she used to do the trails for her chiildren and how she made fake bunny paws with powder ahh I was so mad. Jessica spoke to me about it this weekend and did it in private without jorja which I thought was really sweet. So told me the story then said so is he real mom, and I said well what do you think, she said I don't think he's real as Mrs... said she did the trail. I sent a note to the teacher so see what comes of this. The girls are in a split 1/2 class so hopefully she didn't tell story to any grade 1's. Thanks for letting me vent.

 

I had a pretty funny conversation with my oldest a few weeks ago. She knew about Santa at 6, because the idiots at the newspaper thought it was a good idea to print a "History of Santa" on the back page of the comics. DUH! She came to me in tears asking about Santa. I told her the truth. I'm think Santa is fun and we do all the traditions with that, but I've always felt that if my children asked me a direct question about something, I wanted them to know they could trust me and that I would tell them the truth. But she just told me that up until her very last tooth (in the last 8 months), she never even questioned if the tooth fairy was real. Finally that last time, it occurred to her that I was the TF. We really laughed about that! I've never really done the Easter Bunny. I don't know why, but it seems so odd to me... much weirder than any other make believe characters from childhood. And I don't remember ever believing in him. So we do Easter baskets, but don't talk about the bunny bringing them. A couple of my kids have picked it up from friends, and I don't really care so much, but I'm not playing into it.

I don't know what too old is, exactly. Trey figured out about Santa at about 9. Adam still hasn't that I know of, and he's 8 1/2. I really don't know what they think of the TF. With Santa, when my kids figure it out, they get to be in on the secret. They get to stay up last Christmas Eve and help fill stockings. It's sort of a rite of passage, that I think helps them continue to have some of that magic. And yes, they're sworn to secrecy. Oh, I don't remember how I learned about Santa, but I was 5 and I remember the conversation with my mother about not telling my little brother... and getting to help play Santa on Christmas Eve, just like I do with my kids.

 

My oldest is 9, and while I can tell sometimes he is uncertain, for the most part he still believes. I'm sure it's just a matter of time. I'm just going to make sure when it comes up that he understands it's still part of the magic for the younger kids, and he can become my "secret helper" for those holidays