Santa Claus

I know I dont need to worry about it this year but I am planning ahead. I dont think I want to do the whole "santa claus' thing. I think its lying and I think I would rather explain the story/mythology of santa and still having it be fun without actually saying he snuck into our house and gave us presents! My mother thinks the girls will be ostracized.

So I want to hear from anyone who did not or is not going to do the santa thing. I do not want to hear from the die-hard xmas fans who are going to call me a grinch and say I am ruining xmas.

 

Crap, I lost my post. . .lets see if I can remember it.

I see Santa as more of a tradition than lying. Many many cultures have some sort of being that sneaks into the house and delivers presents. What would you do with the tooth fairy?

I don't know your family, but I tend to agree with your mom. Your kids could be made fun of, or even worse, be the spoiler people for many kids in their class. "Santa isn't real, he's your parents". Can you imagine how many upset parents there would be?

Anyway, Santa was my favorite part of xmas growing up. And I am so not an xmas person.

 

Well, I don't think the girls would be ostracized ... seems like kind of an extreme word. I just think it's very important that you teach them to be respectful of what other children believe and not to say anything ... kind of what I'm guessing Jewish parents tell their children about Santa.

I'm keeping the tradition of Santa with my kids ... to me its more of a childhood rite of passage than a lie ... and to be honest, Christmas was as a child and remains today beyond magical for me. But to each his own ... the magic didn't go away when I found out Santa wasn't real, so I can't imagine it won't be special to your kids never knowing.

 

We do Santa Daddy. We love to watch Santa movies and treat Santa as a character, not a real person. So we place Santa Daddy presents under the tree and leave cookies and milk out for my DH (who, of course, is Santa Daddy). It kind of leaves me out in the cold, but I don't mind, besides he's the one that has to put all the toys together. My son has always enjoyed it and it's fun for my DH. We stress to our son that he isn't ever allowed to tell anyone there is no Santa, and I have pretty much threatened him within an inch of his life. I told him it wasn't his place to tell anyone there isn't a Santa, but the child's parents who would tell. As far as I'm aware, he has never told, but comes home occasionally talking of students who still "believe". My son has never suffered--that I'm aware of--at least he doesn't act like he cares and that's probably because we still watch the movies and have Santas around the house--but like I said, he's a character to us, just like the Grinch, and Christmas just wouldn't be Christmas without that character, IMO.

 

QUOTE(becasquared @ Nov 11 2008, 01:09 PM) [snapback]1065558[/snapback]
What would you do with the tooth fairy?

I don't know your family, but I tend to agree with your mom. Your kids could be made fun of, or even worse, be the spoiler people for many kids in their class. "Santa isn't real, he's your parents". Can you imagine how many upset parents there would be?

I just wanted to say that my kids have not been made fun of for not believing in santa. As for the tooth fairy they know it is mommy and daddy sneaking in putting things under their pillow.

QUOTE(Utopia122 @ Nov 11 2008, 01:25 PM) [snapback]1065588[/snapback]
We do Santa Daddy. We love to watch Santa movies and treat Santa as a character, not a real person. So we place Santa Daddy presents under the tree and leave cookies and milk out for my DH (who, of course, is Santa Daddy). It kind of leaves me out in the cold, but I don't mind, besides he's the one that has to put all the toys together. My son has always enjoyed it and it's fun for my DH. We stress to our son that he isn't ever allowed to tell anyone there is no Santa, and I have pretty much threatened him within an inch of his life. I told him it wasn't his place to tell anyone there isn't a Santa, but the child's parents who would tell. As far as I'm aware, he has never told, but comes home occasionally talking of students who still "believe". My son has never suffered--that I'm aware of--at least he doesn't act like he cares and that's probably because we still watch the movies and have Santas around the house--but like I said, he's a character to us, just like the Grinch, and Christmas just wouldn't be Christmas without that character, IMO.

I never thought of Santa Daddy. If you ask my kids who santa clause is they will say mommy and daddy. Just a couple nights ago at dinner we were talking about it and they asked who Mrs Claus is and I told them that it's mommy and Santa is daddy. They know that Mickey and Minnie aren't really and are just pretend along with the tooth fairy and any other make believe holiday character or character on tv. We still watch all the Christmas movies and enjoy opening up presents on Christmas morning. They also know not to tell anyone that their is no santa. I remind them often of that. My sil is very upset with me that my kids know the truth because she wants all her kids to think there is a Santa and other holiday characters. I figure that is her choose and I don't care but then she has to play it up more around my kids about asking them what is santa going to bring or the Easter Bunny and that bothers me. Why is it ok for those that want to have their kids believe in this ok but for those of us that choose to tell our kids the truth ostracized? Yes I do feel like that's what some of my family members do to me and my dh. Sorry this turned into a little rant but this bothers me every year since people seem to always put us down for making that chose. So my kids enjoy all the things that come with the holidays but they know that the characters aren't real and people in costumes but they enjoy it just as much asthe niece and nephew that believe in them.

 

We do Santa, but it is very low-key. We don't make a big deal out of it or hype him up. (This is also how my parents did it.) Santa leaves one unwrapped gift under the tree and fills the stockings. We don't leave out milk & cookies or anything like that. I am pretty sure O has her suspicions already. The girls will be 6 right before Christmas. We don't generally write letters. O will sit on his lap; Lu will have NOTHING whatsoever to do with him. Most of our traditions revolve around things we do together as a family (decorating the tree, baking special cookies, going out to look at the lights, our special Christmas Eve meal-with-movie), and not around the idea of Santa and presents.

 

As a child I loved the mystery of the season, but I understand what you are saying.

I hope you find some great solutions! I think that's actually harder to figure out at first than just going with the flow.

 

QUOTE(caba @ Nov 11 2008, 08:14 AM) [snapback]1065571[/snapback]
Well, I don't think the girls would be ostracized ... seems like kind of an extreme word. I just think it's very important that you teach them to be respectful of what other children believe and not to say anything ... kind of what I'm guessing Jewish parents tell their children about Santa.

I'm keeping the tradition of Santa with my kids ... to me its more of a childhood rite of passage than a lie ... and to be honest, Christmas was as a child and remains today beyond magical for me. But to each his own ... the magic didn't go away when I found out Santa wasn't real, so I can't imagine it won't be special to your kids never knowing.


I totally agree with Erica. It's definitely a rite of passage for me and I love how much fun the secrecy of it brings to the holiday.

 

QUOTE(Becky02 @ Nov 11 2008, 09:23 AM) [snapback]1065659[/snapback]
I just wanted to say that my kids have not been made fun of for not believing in santa. As for the tooth fairy they know it is mommy and daddy sneaking in putting things under their pillow.
I never thought of Santa Daddy. If you ask my kids who santa clause is they will say mommy and daddy. Just a couple nights ago at dinner we were talking about it and they asked who Mrs Claus is and I told them that it's mommy and Santa is daddy. They know that Mickey and Minnie aren't really and are just pretend along with the tooth fairy and any other make believe holiday character or character on tv. We still watch all the Christmas movies and enjoy opening up presents on Christmas morning. They also know not to tell anyone that their is no santa. I remind them often of that. My sil is very upset with me that my kids know the truth because she wants all her kids to think there is a Santa and other holiday characters. I figure that is her choose and I don't care but then she has to play it up more around my kids about asking them what is santa going to bring or the Easter Bunny and that bothers me. Why is it ok for those that want to have their kids believe in this ok but for those of us that choose to tell our kids the truth ostracized? Yes I do feel like that's what some of my family members do to me and my dh. Sorry this turned into a little rant but this bothers me every year since people seem to always put us down for making that chose. So my kids enjoy all the things that come with the holidays but they know that the characters aren't real and people in costumes but they enjoy it just as much asthe niece and nephew that believe in them.


Thank you!! Maybe 'Santa' will still bring them a present but I would rather them know up front that it was me. I figured out really young that there was no Santa and was really bothered that my mother kept up the charade.


QUOTE(rubyturquoise @ Nov 11 2008, 09:29 AM) [snapback]1065667[/snapback]
We do Santa, but it is very low-key. We don't make a big deal out of it or hype him up. (This is also how my parents did it.) Santa leaves one unwrapped gift under the tree and fills the stockings. We don't leave out milk & cookies or anything like that. I am pretty sure O has her suspicions already. The girls will be 6 right before Christmas. We don't generally write letters. O will sit on his lap; Lu will have NOTHING whatsoever to do with him. Most of our traditions revolve around things we do together as a family (decorating the tree, baking special cookies, going out to look at the lights, our special Christmas Eve meal-with-movie), and not around the idea of Santa and presents.


I would rather xmas be about family and GIVING as opposed to Santa and GETTING.

 

QUOTE(cohlee @ Nov 11 2008, 10:49 AM) [snapback]1065713[/snapback]
I would rather xmas be about family and GIVING as opposed to Santa and GETTING.



:good: agreed

tho i love santa and all things christmas, i still think it's more important to teach our kids the joy of togetherness and giving, rather than "gimme gimme gimme"

 

I didn't grow up with Santa & Christmas was still very magical. I do remember our grandparents giving us a hard time about Santa.......and we were homeschooled, so I can't say what kids in school would've said.

I love the Santa Daddy idea! Kind of gives you best of both worlds. In the beginning, I was really opposed to doing Santa with the kids, but dh really wanted to. One day one of the women from church came to visit me (someone I respect a lot) and we got to talking about it. She said something that changed my mind: that it was important for both dh & I to bring our traditions together for the kids. I wanted to incorporate things I did as a kid for Christmas, but so did he. So we kind of came to a compromise & Santa only brings 1 gift and we're not going to really hype him up. I guess as long as they still understand the true meaning of Christmas, Santa is fun to have in the background.


But, as a kid w/o Santa some things I remember that were fun were: my dad always reading the Christmas Story before we opened gifts. Every year, we could open our stockings as early as we wanted, but gifts had to wait til Mom & Dad were awake. And my mom always put fun things to do in our stockings like puzzles, coloring books, etc. And some snacks. When we were old enough to read, Dad would write a special letter to each kid in their stocking. Every Christmas Eve we'd drive out & look at all the lights & maybe do a little caroling for the neighbors. We always baked cookies & left them in the mailbox for the mailman. We had a special night for decorating the tree & we all made sure we got to hang up our own Baby's 1st Christmas ornament. Before Christmas, us kids would put names in a hat & each buy a gift for whomever we drew (there were 8 kids). That, to me, was the most fun. Having that 1 special gift for your brother/sister & just waiting for it to come out & be opened. Oh, and my dad passed out gifts one at a time......no rushing at the gifts. It could take hours with a big family like that, but we loved it!

 

Thank you Naomi!

My plan was to explain to the girls about Santa and what other children believe and that it is not our job to tell them otherwise, as to "not ruin anyone's xmas" but what about Jewish children, does Santa just skip over their house? They must know that there is no Santa and I dont think they ruin it for all the 'believers'.

I hate that xmas is about presents, I actually really dislike xmas, but I want it to be something more for my girls than a bunch of presents.

 

My dh and I also don't want it to be about presents so we like to remind them of the religous route of Christmas (we are Methodist). I don't really care for Christmas either because of dh's family always trying to out do the other with the most exspensive gifts (or atleast the used to now with kids they don't buy as expensive but they still go way over board and to me that get ruined with just being together as a family). We put the presents under the tree after they go to bed so there is no early peeking. My girl s help decorate the tree with their ordaments. When my son gets older he will do that too. We also watch a lot of the Christmas movies the month of Dec. I would like to read them a good Christmas story but have never gone out to look for one. Maybe I will get one this year. I think whatever you decide to do with your family it will be special for you guys. I think I might steal the santa daddy idea and have the girls leave cookies out for him.

 

We don't do the Santa thing either, and it's amazing because my kids aren't ostracized, but I can tell you there are some die-hard Santa-loving adults who have expressed serious anger at me for not including Santa in the holiday. It's gotten ugly before. I try to tell them that I would like them to respect that I celebrate the holiday differently, but I'm usually called overzealous or some-such nonsense. I do, however, feel it is lying, though I respect other's opinions on the subject and their right to celebrate however they want. I think Santa is made into somewhat of an idol in our culture, and elevated to almost God-like powers in a child's mind (come on, he knows when you are sleeping/awake, if you've been bad or good?!) and I want to reserve the holiday for the only God it was intended for. Please don't be offended, again, this is just my personal belief system. I have also known a girl in our church who seriously doubted their belief in God after learning about Santa not being real, saying too her mom that "if you lied about that, why should I believe anything you tell me about God?"... an extreme example, I know, but not something I'm willing to take the chance on my kids saying to me later.
I plan on just telling them to respect other's beliefs and not to ever spoil another child's christmas, and threaten them within an inch of their life if they disobey that ... our christmas is spent enjoying decorating the tree with advent themed ornaments, talking about the reason for the holiday (Christ's birth), and giving modest amounts of gifts to each other.

 

On a lighter note-I love how I can get my dd to behave because if she doesnt Santa wont bring her presents...sick, I know-but it works (for a little while).
We really dont make a huge deal of it-I make a bigger deal of what we are giving to others and how good it feels to make people we love happy.

 

QUOTE(mel&3 @ Nov 11 2008, 03:22 PM) [snapback]1066239[/snapback]
We don't do the Santa thing either, and it's amazing because my kids aren't ostracized, but I can tell you there are some die-hard Santa-loving adults who have expressed serious anger at me for not including Santa in the holiday. It's gotten ugly before. I try to tell them that I would like them to respect that I celebrate the holiday differently, but I'm usually called overzealous or some-such nonsense. I do, however, feel it is lying, though I respect other's opinions on the subject and their right to celebrate however they want. I think Santa is made into somewhat of an idol in our culture, and elevated to almost God-like powers in a child's mind (come on, he knows when you are sleeping/awake, if you've been bad or good?!) and I want to reserve the holiday for the only God it was intended for. Please don't be offended, again, this is just my personal belief system. I have also known a girl in our church who seriously doubted their belief in God after learning about Santa not being real, saying too her mom that "if you lied about that, why should I believe anything you tell me about God?"... an extreme example, I know, but not something I'm willing to take the chance on my kids saying to me later.
I plan on just telling them to respect other's beliefs and not to ever spoil another child's christmas, and threaten them within an inch of their life if they disobey that ... our christmas is spent enjoying decorating the tree with advent themed ornaments, talking about the reason for the holiday (Christ's birth), and giving modest amounts of gifts to each other.



Actually I dont think that is extreme at all, I think it is a perfectly reasonable argument. Thank you very much for sharing.

 

That's basically what we're doing too. I will tell them about Santa and say that it's a lovely story. I know at this age they can't really distinguish fact from fiction anyway, but we're not making any effort to get them to actually believe in Santa. They will know that their presents come from us (or their cousins or grandparents or whatever).

That is also a really good point about not turning Santa into God. I don't really believe in God (am sort of on the fence about it), but I know my parents felt that way (annoyed that Santa is deified in our culture and that Christmas becomes about Santa rather than about Jesus) and that's partly why they didn't make a big deal of Santa when my sister and I were little either.