SAHM's

I see so many of you are SAHM's - how do you financially make it? I would love to be able to be home with my children but can't figure out how..... :angry:

 

DH has two jobs. He works a day job and then works as a Server at an Italian Restaurant. If he didn't do that, we'd never make it. It still isn't easy. If you really want to be a SAHM.. you can make it work. It's just a matter of prioritizing. It's tough, really tough tho... I won't lie. I wouldn't be able to have it any other way tho.

 

Ask yourself, what can you live without? The expensive clothes? The monthly visits to the hair salon? The shopping at the more expensive stores for food?..

 

Im a partime SAHM as i stay with them all day and then go out to work 5 nights a week. I leave to go to work when they eating their dinner and then they go for a bath and bed so i dont feel i am missing out on too much. I feel i get the best of both worlds this way. Also when i go to work i get a bit of peace and quiet and adult company! x

 

I wish I could tell you the magical way for it to work but we are still trying to figure that out. My DH got a new job while I was on bedrest and slowly we are figuring out how to pay for everything. I just try to do everything I can to budget and stay within it. I also try to find free things to take the kids to. Like the park, my older DD loves it and it costs nothing. We live about a mile from it and so not much gas there either. We don't go out to eat as often either but we don't have as much time now.
We just could not afford 3 kids in daycare. I couldn't see someone else raising my kids for me to make NO money. I miss working and being around other adults all day but I am loving being a SAHM.

 

That's one of my jobs as the SAHM. I learn where to cut back. I cut coupons, unplug the coffee maker when not using it, second hand shop, watch for deals/sales, wax my own eyebrows (lol), and the list can go on forever. We will have 5 children and live on one military income. There's no joke when they say SAHM is a full time job. It's several full time jobs. Cook, clean, bath, teach, raise, budget on and on. But I love it. It is what I was ment to do and would do nothing else. I's very important though that my partner supports me in this. He wants this just as much as I do so we make it work together. Sometimes you can't look at the if but the will.

Keep in mind though, there can be guilt either way. You might feel guilty not being a stay at home mom, but then when you make the sacrifices to make it work you might feel guilty that not everyone gets that expensive new toy or something. Its whats best for you and your family. Good luck

 

Like everyone says, you just have to figure out what you can live without and cut from the budget. Good luck

 

QUOTE(mollyjm+2 @ Oct 15 2008, 10:38 AM) [snapback]1027261[/snapback]
That's one of my jobs as the SAHM. I learn where to cut back. I cut coupons, unplug the coffee maker when not using it, second hand shop, watch for deals/sales, wax my own eyebrows (lol), and the list can go on forever. We will have 5 children and live on one military income. There's no joke when they say SAHM is a full time job. It's several full time jobs. Cook, clean, bath, teach, raise, budget on and on. But I love it. It is what I was ment to do and would do nothing else. I's very important though that my partner supports me in this. He wants this just as much as I do so we make it work together. Sometimes you can't look at the if but the will.

Keep in mind though, there can be guilt either way. You might feel guilty not being a stay at home mom, but then when you make the sacrifices to make it work you might feel guilty that not everyone gets that expensive new toy or something. Its whats best for you and your family. Good luck

I've been searching for a good place to get a wealth of coupons...the Sunday paper here usually has about 10 that are useful (unless you need your carpet cleaned or a vinyl shed build in your back yard). Where do you find is the best place to get useful coupons?

 

QUOTE(TwinsInFL @ Oct 15 2008, 08:57 AM) [snapback]1027295[/snapback]
I've been searching for a good place to get a wealth of coupons...the Sunday paper here usually has about 10 that are useful (unless you need your carpet cleaned or a vinyl shed build in your back yard). Where do you find is the best place to get useful coupons?



The news station here just did a good story on it- komonews.com
Search the web, once you find a few websites that have coupons and get use to the layout of the site it gets easier. Watch for specials at your store and then try and find coupons to go with it
I also call some of the campanies that I really like. For example, my kids love LURA bars but they can be pricey, so I call the company and they send my coupons sometimes even free bars in the mail. I do this with deary items, personal items whatever I can think of. Sometimes the company may not have coupons but they might know a web sight that caries their product really cheap.

 

Great suggestions!!!!! Thank you all....
Still not sure I can financially do it - but this is all food for thought and I appreciate it!!

 

I am like you, I wish I could stay home with the babies but we need the extra income I bring in. But if it ever gets to a point that I am just working to pay for daycare, I'M DONE! Our son is in a private school for Pre-K because we don't qualify for the public school (english has to be his second language to qualify) so we pay $300/month for his school alone. I will prob be paying atleast $300/week for care for the twins and I only bring home $800/week. so that will be a good chunk of what I make going to child care.

 

The absolute best book on how to do more on less--get it from your library --is the Tightwad Gazette by Amy Dacyzyn. I don't think anyone would possibly follow ALL the ideas, but it will get you thinking on how you can do more with what you have.

 

fortunately, DH makes enough money that I can. I have a budget, and do what I can to cut costs here and there. I look for "brand name" clothes at nice consignment stores, use coupons, and save the expensive items for birthdays and holidays. Everyday things come from places like Walmart. You just have to decide what is most important to you, buying the "expensive" things, going out to eat and movies, or staying home with your little ones. We are trying to budget a way to have "date night" once a month, so DH and I can spend time together... without the children! Good luck... I hope you can find a way to do it. It's worth it in the end. I love that for the infant and toddler years, I am going to be home with my babies! They are only little once and it goes by way too fast!

 

Hey I found some great articles on this topic! Check them out.

Pros and cons of being a stay at home parent

Staying at home: Can you afford it?

Childcare options: Pros, cons & costs

 

QUOTE(Joanna416 @ Oct 15 2008, 03:12 PM) [snapback]1027323[/snapback]
Great suggestions!!!!! Thank you all....
Still not sure I can financially do it - but this is all food for thought and I appreciate it!!


Think about how much gas you would save though! Didn't you say before you have a real long commute?

I mean, talk with your husband about it..if there is a will, there is a way. If that means him picking up extra hours or a second job...then maybe that is what he has to do.

 

I was not able to be a SAHM until the twins were born. After I had our first DD I did have to return to work, luckily my Mom was able to watch her, and I eventually was able to work part-time for 2 years and then quit all together when I had the twins. But it took savings to do it. Anyway, just wanted to let you know I did not start out as a SAHM, it took years to get there.

 

We cut out the extra expenses and put ourselves on a tight budget. These are some of the things we got rid of an extra cell phone,upgraded cable package,calling features on our landline phone. We are also saving with gas costs too since I'm not driving back & forth to work.
But, it's amazing what you can live without when you are on a budget! It took some time for us to adjust but, it seems to be working out.

Good Luck!

 

Honestly for us there is no other option. If I were to work it would likely cost me more to send my 3 kids to daycare than it does for me to stay home, and I was a teacher prior... Financially we are struggling severly because we were not really planning on one baby, and got 2! We are thrilled to have them, and would not change it, but it requires a complete lifestyle change! Also, it is VERY HARD work and it is kind of infuriating to me when people automatically assume that since I don't get paid that I don't work... Likely most people who make the assumtion don't work as hard as those of us who are home with our kids... I totally agree with the PP who mentioned that it takes support from your husband/partner to do this, without the support it just makes a resentful husband/partner... So you come up with something that works out and look at what you spend and what you don't need... A great way to track your spending is to keep a small notebook in your bag and write down every penny you spend and for what... You will be shocked at how much you spend on things that you don't need or that you could do for yourself!

 

I've wondered this myself!! Unfortunatly, I am the insurance carrier in our family. DH is self employeed, private insurance would cost an insane amount of money because he's diabetic. So for us it's not a matter of cutting expenses, or not shopping name brands...we just can't afford it. He makes more money than I do, but it is not a steady income.

One of the things I thought about though as an alternative, is working less hours. My company offers benefits for 20hrs or more and it's really reasonable, so I thought about working 3p-8p or something.
It would be tight, but we thought we could make it work.

Then I got a great job, that will allow me to work less hours and some from home...with more money from my old job.

Good luck, on a really hard decision...you will do what's best for you and your family!!
reb

 

Start with a real, honest written budget. Put down everything, including hidden things like gum at the 7-11 and dry cleaning. Then decide what you can cut. We have a weird collection of cable + telephone + internet to get a lower rate. For example, we have only the no frills telephone, which costs $10/month. Then we add unlimited US long distance from skype for $2.95/month. We also use netflix instead of premium cable. Frankly, we could live with just network TV and netflix. We menu plan and shop strictly from a budget. We're down to $150/week for all food, but I bring lunch to work every single day. Our fridge and cupboards are bare by the end of the week because we don't buy anything that we won't use that week. We live by the envelope system and pay cash for groceries, eating out, clothing, random household expenses, fuel and vehicle maintenance and entertainment. I'm lucky in that I take public transportation to work and my employer pays for it. We also get a small amount of "blow" money (NO, not for cocaine) that we can each blow however we want. Right now it's only $10/week because that's all the budget has room for. If I don't have blow money, then I can't have that Diet Coke in the afternoon. I don't carry an ATM card so that I'm not tempted to buy.

I'm a big fan of Dave Ramsey's budgeting system. Check the library for his book (why buy it when you can read it for free!)

 

Same here, if I worked I'd just be giving my paycheck to a daycare provider. I grew up extremely poor, and so it's really important to my DH (bless him) that I get a break from having to work for several years. (I worked two jobs from the time I was 13 til about two years ago.) He also does stand-up comedy at night, and I work from home on our comedy company, Big Owl. I don't get a wage, obviously, but I get to be with the kids. He is part own of his fmaily business during the day and does the comedy at night. He's so great at juggling it all.

Could you do something like a party sales job in the evenings and on weekends? (Things like Party-Lite, PAmpered Chef, Stampin' Up? stuff like that)

 

We're military overseas, and the area we're in doesn't really have jobs for spouses, so I don't have a lot of choice. Luckily military pays well, but I secondhand shop...I don't get hair/nails done...we don't go out a lot...and we pay cash...we don't use credit cards so we have very little debt. We get huge tax refunds and put it all into whatever debt we may have...the only thing right now are my student loans...

 

We started a budget before the babies were born just to track where we were spending our money. From there we realized where we needed to cut back. I get my hair done twice a year (aka cut) and no longer get pedicures . Luckily DH has our insurance. We haven't been able to save much, but luckily we did a lot of that before the babies. I used to be a big credit card spender, but after getting my card(s) all paid off, I'm much more frugal and really stop and think if I REALLY need something.