SAHM's who go to church......

I'm asking stay at home moms this question, but really it can be for anyone! since I am a stay at home mom, my boys are never without me. We do activities outside the home, but I'm always there. SOOO...I feel really sad for them when I take them to church nursery because I feel like they don't understand. I "know" they'll be okay physically, but I just can't wondering what in the world they are thinking with all the strange people and kids and no mommy or daddy there. We are church hunting, too, so we don't have a familiar church to go to yet. how do you all cope with the guilt and worry? Any suggestions? By the way, the are speech delayed, so they don't talk at all if that matters. But, their receptive language is good, so they pretty much know what I'm saying.

 

I'm asking stay at home moms this question, but really it can be for anyone! since I am a stay at home mom, my boys are never without me. We do activities outside the home, but I'm always there. SOOO...I feel really sad for them when I take them to church nursery because I feel like they don't understand. I "know" they'll be okay physically, but I just can't wondering what in the world they are thinking with all the strange people and kids and no mommy or daddy there. We are church hunting, too, so we don't have a familiar church to go to yet. how do you all cope with the guilt and worry? Any suggestions? By the way, the are speech delayed, so they don't talk at all if that matters. But, their receptive language is good, so they pretty much know what I'm saying.

 

Once we found our church it was easy to leave them because I felt really comfortable with the procedure. I knew they were okay. Actually we began going when the girls were around 18 months and that was a hard time for them. We experienced the most problems with separation anxiety and also language wasn't completely there.

If you find a church you like, I would suggest calling the head of the program and explain your children's situation to put your mind at ease. Hopefully the same teacher will be there the service you go too so that you can all communicate.

Our experience didn't get better until 2 years. They moved up to the 2 year old room and it was much better suited for them.

But as far as leaving them, I feel it is important to have experiences with others and develop respect for adults. The more experiences you give them early on, the easier I think it will be for them to learn rules, etc-socialization. I actually love it because I get a break and I know they are learning about God in the right way.

We are now going to a bible study at the church once a week and they are in a 2 hour program while I am in study. So it is a huge blessing! It will take awhile to adjust but be as consistent as possible!!

 

Thank you...yes, the separation anxiety is what I'm most concerned with. When we have left them, when we picked them up...they both looked really sad/scared/unsure, and they were sitting on the teachers' laps. I just felt so bad! I'm sure it will help when we find a church we like and they can go to the same place every week. Thank you again!

 

I have been trying to go to church again myself. Back in Sept/Oct. I would go and take the girls to the nursery and stay with them for the hour. Then I had #3, so we didn't get out much. 3 weeks ago I finally made it to church, put them in the nursery and left. They cried the whole hour!! The following week I stayed with them, but didn't play or anything. I missed last week. I plan to go this Sunday and will just leave them. If they cry, it is okay. I know they are safe and well cared for in the nursery. My girls need to get used to being with others in different situations.
sue

 

I don't have much to add, just that I am like you and could have written the post. My dh and just sit in the back pew and usually make it through the first hour, and if church goes longer, the kids start to get fussy. I bring the diaper bag full of "new" toys and colored pencils. I want them to understand that when we go to church, we sit in the pews. BUT, I also think that the nursery is great. I would probably take them to our nursery more if it weren't cold season. The two times I have taken them to the nursery, they have caught colds. UGH SO I guess I have two reasons I don't do the nursery: I am a wimp, and the sickness.

I am not really any help huh?

 

I leave mine at the church nursery as well as one day a week with a lady from our church for a "Mother's Day Out" (sort of)
We have been settled at our church for years, so that's not a huge issue to us,,,,, but I have dealt with similar issues with all my kids at various points.
It seems like, at some time, each one of my kids has gone through throwing fits, crying ets when I leave them. Right now, it's my dd.

Anyway...... personal opinion here..... I think, it's good to leave your kids (somewhere safe). I think they learn you will return, and I think it's good for their social skills in the long term. I could be wrong.... but it's working for us.

 

my kids dont have a problem with us leaving them in the nursery.. i do!! It also helps that sometimes their nana and paw paw work in there, and they really like that. Mine are good about playing, and we havent hit the "separation anxiety" stage just yet. BUT.. my problem is, that each time i take them.. inevitably, they get sick!! I guess it is just being around the other kids slobbery germs and dumb parents taking their kids when they obviously have a runny nose/cough. Anyway, there is this other kid in there that crys from the time their parent drops them off until the time she picks her back up and this has been going on or about 8 months!! yikes.. i guess they just hope that at some point she will adjust. ANother option that you may check into is a "mothers room".. our church has a room in the sanctuary upstairs that has a tv in it that is broadcasting the service. It has a rocking chair and a changing table and some toys for moms and kids to go. good luck!

 

hhmm...some churches around here do have a mother's room, but i've never tried it. sounds like a great idea, though. i think i wil.

 

The boys were just under 18 months when we started a new church and new everything! LOL

I was in the same situation, but I didn't feel guilty (okay, not THAT guilty! ) because I needed time away as well as they did from me. It took them 2 weeks to not cry when we left them. Then they understood that we'd be back and were okay with it. The boys didn't talk and they just basically stood around, maybe played in the room. I agree, the 2 and up room was a better fit. They have a little class for them each Sunday and sit down snacks and a drink.

They've adjusted and Boyd always asks if we're "going to church mom?"

Good luck with your search!