SAHM - what do you do all day?

These are my only two children, I'm home with them and going a little nuts lately. For the other SAHM... how do you structure your day?

My boys still do two naps, around 8:30a and then again at 1. We go to Gymboree 3x a week, and playgroup 1x a week; but there aren't any great, safe playgrounds around my neighborhood. We do have car, but that's a whole 'nother challenge to get them packed up, down the street to the garage and then go... where? They need to be home in just an hour or two to nap again.

I never thought being a SAHM in NYC would feel so isolating, but that's really the only way I can describe it. Its almost as a twin mom I'm doubly challenged, because there are programs and museums and friends to visit, it's just sometimes it seems overwhelming to do these things alone. I tried to post a similar question on the Manhattan Twins Club board recently and didn't get a lot of response.

Any suggestions for us to fill our days with fun stuff?

 

Many days I feel just the same....Mine still take two naps also, so it seems like there is not much time to do anything!

Most days we go out right after their 2nd nap...I will take a snack so they can stay occupied. We go for walks, go shopping, go to the library (we have a really nice one with a coffee shop!)...I wish we could have a play date once in awhile, but my friends are all busy in the afternoons with older kids (picking up at school, dance lessons, etc)

I think it will get better/easier when they only take one nap a day. Then there will be a little more freedom to get out in the am for a longer period of time. It is kinda lonely somedays for SAHMs....

One thing that is kinda fun for us too is that my husband's family goes out for lunch once or twice a week (they own their own company) so sometimes we all go to lunch together - that mixes up the day...and then sometimes going out for dinner is fun too.

Maybe once a week the kids could take one of their naps in the car and you could drive further out of the city to a fun place? Then you could have a little more time? I am not sure if yours will nap in the car?

Hope that helps a little....

 

I'm in California, but I go on at least one walk/run when I am home with the girls (I work two days in the office). For me, loading them up in the BOB stroller and running/walking where we need to go is sometimes easier than loading them in the car (I live in a townhouse and park on the street). Not sure if your weather is permiting that or not.

When it is not nice outside, I often relocate to different spots in the house, and incorporate them into the house duties that I am doing (laundry, etc...)My girls need to get out of the house or they get crazy!

 

Check out Meetup.com. This is a social site, and they have groups for everything imaginable. Check it out and see if there are any moms groups in your area.

I go out with my pair every day. We're still on 2 naps a day, but I schedule things after the second nap or between the 2 naps, around lunchtime. Sometimes we go out to a class at the library, sometimes it's to a meetup. sometimes it's to playgroup, sometimes we go on a walk, sometimes it's just to do a bit of shopping. I agree with PP that you can take them out and have them nap in the car to be able to get out further and longer.

 

I feel like this a lot. I don't live in the city and I don't live in town so to go for a walk even I have to load the kids in the car. Some days this is just not what I want to do. It was even worse when I didn't have my vehicle because my husband took it to work while his was being fixed. It is tough some days to be a SAHM. It is easy to fall into a rut. There are a lot of websites that have great ideas for activities. I must say we all do better on the days we can get out of the house. Mine have just switched to one nap a day which typically falls in the middle of the day. Some days they get an abbreviated nap because we are out and they don't get home before they fall asleep. I agree with pp's, if you let them take one of their naps in the car and drive somewhere further out once in a while, it could be fun. Good luck, it will get easier!!!

Jen

 

Hi, I feel the same way and don't have any secret answers. I lead a twin play group every Monday, so we go out to an enclosed park. I guess we are lucky because we have a nice park system in our area. On Wednesday, I have a babysitter come and stay with them for a few hours. I go out and run errands or go to a dr's appt. On Fridays, we usually have our Mother's Morning out program at a local church. It's a nice break for 3 hours and they are worn out when they come home. Tuesdays and Thursdays are our open days. I end up going shopping or going for a walk. Sometimes the walk is easier than errands. I'm not always in the mood to struggle with the car, stroller, etc. Mine are fairly content in the stroller for about an hour, so we walk down to the pier and back.

Once every week or two, we stay home all day. My goal is to try NOT to do this. My mood is always worse and I just feel alone and isolated. I don't think it's good for my mental state. On the days we stay home, we play on the patio or spend extra time playing in the bathtub. I just bought some sidewalk chalk that I'm planning to use on the patio this week. We also have a water table, but it's not quite warm enough to use it yet. They love it.
I'd like to try the library sometime. I haven't done it yet.


I think it's great that you go to the Gymboree 3 times a week!
I believe it will be a bit easier for you when they switch over to one nap.
Anyway, I just wanted to say you are not alone!

 

I feel SO blessed to be at home with my duo but it can be very challenging being at home with them too! I agree with PP that getting out is KEY for everyone's happiness, if at all possible! I remember it was more challenging when they were napping 2x a day--since moving into one nap, it got much easier to plan our mornings and afternoons. In the mornings, we take walks around the neighborhood, play outside, make Target runs, go to the park, music class, etc...in the afternoons, we meet up with friends for playdates--my favorite is going to a friend's house or having friends come over to ours. My kiddos can be at home all day but when friends come over, they feed off of each other in a positive way (most of the time!) and they are happy--and I'm happy to have my friend to chat with I agree with the suggestion of meetup.com too--have you looked into your local MOMS club? We have a standard Wednesday playdate every week and I look forward to it!

 

When my husband is at work I just stay at home with the kids. Fortunately I have a housekeeper who takes over home chores, and when the kids are napping (twice daily) or playing, I work as a freelancer virtual assistant. I have always worked before having my wonderful babies, so I very much love to continue doing so now.

For some convenience reasons, we go out with the kids when my husband is home. That's what I mainly do. Don't socialize much. However, I feel blessed staying with my kids in their early years, taking care of them and watching them grow!

 

I live in the country but I know how you feel. We don't really have much in this area as far as organized fun! The play groups that do exist are 'limited' number of kids only (like 4-6), so I feel awful taking up 2 spots! We do have playgrounds but they are at schools not parks so they are occupied when I am able to use them. (I work 3-9 m-f). Plus it's so rural it takes a good 30 min to get anywhere...I have tried library time, but my boys are all over the place and into everything and it's distracting to the other families plus it's not a very safe enviroment (scissors just laying around) for me to keep an eye on both of them at once. We went to a local gym that had 'toddler' time but it was older kids and were playing a game like dodgeball...call me a worrier, but seeing my kid get nailed in the head with a speeding ball is not on my fun list.

so i chalk it up to their age...and the fact they still take 2 naps. I think things will get better, especially with the nicer weather.

I agree with pp, we walk every morning and we all enjoy it, my boys go nuts if they have to stay indoors all day and then none of us are happy.

I wish there were more twin moms in my area, I find my friends with singletons don't understand sometimes just how complicated it can be.

I hope things get better for you!

rebecca

 

Yup the 2 naps a day is slowin' ya down.
I'm isolated at bit too. No playdates since almost everyone works.

Borders and Barnes&Noble both have reading storytimes.
My guys love being at the park looking at cars & trucks go by.
Their second fav is going on walks seeing if there are any dogs being walked.

I'm that nutty mom who makes every store outing an educational lesson.
go to Lowes or Home Depot, turn on&off lights there. open/close all their fake kitchens. touch carpet samples & tile samples (rough, smooth) with a prompt followup of hand sanitizer.
We go to 2 local reading programs free at the libraries.
We also go to StrollerFit, but duck out when the kids all have a freeforall. gotten sick too many times from playing.

I'm in the same boat but with only 1 nap a day.
Good luck!

 

I forgot to add that my dh thinks I sit home all day eating candy with my feet up. What a wonderful dream that would be!

 

Thanks ladies. Our library and B&N has story time, but they fall during the afternoon nap. I also found a moms only playgroup, but that falls during their morning nap. So, I guess you're all right and we'll have more to do once they drop a nap.

I checked out meetup.com and couldn't find a toddler group in my neighborhood, but you've sorta inspired me and I think I'm going to start my own group.