s/o of redshirting...what do you do if one twin is ready and the other not

I know I am bit early---but registration for K is in 6 months.(EEEK!)

I've read the 'redshirting thread' closely....my girls have an Oct 9th B-day (cut off in MI is Dec1st).

My 2 are VERY opposites.

DD1 Last years preschool teacher stated she was great (3 yr preschool) socially. She and her sister were the youngest in the class. Academically she has already mastered the K curriculum with the exception of written language ( she can write and spell words on her own, but not writing complete sentences--an end of K skill) and skip counting. She is tall and mature with a VERY long attention span and focus.We suspect she is very bright. She can already read fluently. She has health concerns that may have her miss school a lot (asthma) but she handles it well.

DD2. She also did well in 3yr old school but has special needs. Her attention span is short and her speech- though very advanced in vocabulary- is immature. She knows letters/letter sounds and has some sight words. Fast learner, but little focus.She will get OT/PT in PreK (she has an IEP) for gross motor delays and social skills. She avoids fine motor skills because of sensory issues, but she can write her name. She is also very tall. She has tested way above average on cognitive testing (although it can be inaccurate at this age). She is emotional, sensitive, and a people pleaser but gets easily overwhelmed in crowds/noises.

The girls are doing free statefunded PreK for 'at-risk' kids this Fall (same class). I know this will help us decide what to do about K---right now one - as it stands- one we would hold a year and the other we would send......if they were singletons. We , as parents, cant justify splitting them at this point. We worry about doing a 'disservice' to one of them if we wait a year of go ahead w/ K. They most likely will pass the K readiness screener since they will happily go with an adult for the 'testing' and both do great on one-one setting.

We have a young5s program, but you have to qualify academically AND have a summer/Fall B-day. I dont think the girls would qualify on the academics. DD2 may face issues all though school and would get 'more' therapudic benefits in K than preschool (will be through home school district instead of county services)

Any face twins on different levels that could do K or wait a year?? Did you split them gradewise/classwise?? Send one and not the other?

It is not super common to 'redshirt' here---though it does happen with 'early' B-days (June-Nov), but it is usually on the suggestion of the K readiness screeners.

Thanks

KC

 

Well, here is my opinion, for what it's worth. First, A LOT can change in the next six months. At this age, kids can grow emotionally, physically and intellectually by leaps and bounds. Also, you have to think about how your DD2 compares to others entering kindergarten, not just how she compares to her sister, especially if she tests well cognitively. I also have twin girls with an October birthday, and I felt that DD1 was very ready for K, but not so sure about DD2. I knew I couldn't keep DD1 in preschool another year, but I worried about DD2. I did not want to have them in separate grades either, because it concerned me how that would affect them emotionally. I put them both in. DD2 definitely has an easier time of it academically, but DD2 has done well and I'm so glad I put them in at the same time. If your DD2 is getting the assistance she needs with some of the things you're concerned about, I'm sure she will do fine. Good luck.

 

My first thought was exactly what Jennifer wrote---a LOT can change over the next year. Even in 6 months, you will be in a better position to make this decision. I also agree that you need to force yourself to focus on how your DD2 compares to all children and not ust her twin. I think with our twins, we tend to have a bit of a hyper-focus on comparisons between them (which is natural, if misguided).

I'll never forget when I was at the ped one time with my twin boys at about age 4-5. I was fussing about DS2's lagging growth. His brother was always a good six months ahead of him in growth spurts/shoes sizes, etc and we had slipped into the habit of thinking "DS1 is bigger and DS2 is smaller" so much that we began to think of DS2 as simply "Small" and maybe suffering some delays. The ped looked at me with bafflement as I went on about my worries and was it because he was baby B and was it because he was the one in the ruptured sac...blah blah blah..

He let me finish and then quietly took out those doctor growth charts they all have. He placed DS1's chart on one side and DS2's chart on the other side of a third chart with "norms". BOTH boys were way above the norms. Yes, DS1 was at the 97th %ile and DS2 was "only" at the 89th %ile, but hello!! He was at the 89th %ile for growth for his age and gender! I was so busy comparing him to his twin that I was totally blind to the fact that he was, in fact, growing like a champ!

That lesson came home to me even more when they started school and were 1&2 for "tallest" in class most years. Whenever people meet our "small" twin on his own, they remark abot what a "big" boy he is. Yes, right now DS1 has had his pre-puberty growth spurt again 6 months earlier than DS2 (so there is an almost 3 inch difference in height right now!), but they are still #1 &#3 for height in the class and no doubt after the 6 months, DS2 will again do his own thing on his own (slightly later) timetable and they will be 1&2 again (unless the other boy is headed to be the very tallest---according to his own growth pattern!--or even someone who has been shorter up till now could roar past everyone with a late growth spurt).

I think we can gain more information about our children's readiness for things outside the family circle by looking at how they compare to other children outside the family circle. And you'll get lots of opportunities to do that this year while they are in pre-K. GL!!!

 

ITA w/Renee. One of mine had some mild fine motor skills issues and a slight enunciation issue. Very noticeable when compared to her twin, but not at all noticeable within her general peer group. They have a December bday, so redshirting wasn't an issue, but what I thought was a marked gap really wasn't much of anything. HTH.

 

Thanks ladies,

I do agree that 6 mon can make a big difference, but some of the concerns w/ DD2 have been there for over 2 years. She is in the Spec.Education program through our local schools and obviously lags behind the 'norm' in order to qualify. She will get PT for gross motor skills and OT for sensory/self-care skills. In some areas she is up to 1 1/2 yrs behind her chronological aged peers and in others over 1 1/2 years ahead. Cognitively (academically) is not a concern--it is the gross motor and social maturity that are, both of which will most likely improve over the next few months, but they BOTH have been areas of delay since she started EI at 9 months.

It is hard not compare to DD1 (who is age appropriate or above in development) whom is most likely ready for K next year- socially and academically. Oddly enough, for age appropriate skills, they have opposite (though totally within the norm) strengths and weaknesses.

--but that is not my standard of 'comparison' rather when I state DD2 has short attention span, it is short for an early 4 yr old (not in comparison to her sister, whom we know has an oddly long attention span and focus for her age). DD2 has had many evaluations and they put her at very asychronous development (some age appropriate, some much above age appropriate and some skills way below) so it is hard to know what is 'best' for her. She also has mild CP, a possible PDD_NOS diagnosis, and sensory issues. An extra year would give her time to learn some coping skills using her fantastic verbal/language skills. She has a wonderful imagination and is very creative-- curiosity is one of her strengths! But the physical and sensory demands of all day K (our only option next year) may be too much for her system--which is more sensitive than other children her age--. The school *may* allow me to homeschool her 1/2 a day if she is too fatigued (we discussed it at the IEP), but they also mentioned having her wait that extra year to build endurance.

It is rather I have 2 on opposite ends in social and physical growth.

 

I would send them both due to the extra services that DD2 will get in K. She will benefit more from what she can get by going to K than by staying back. When I worked as an Orthopedically Impaired teacher down in GA (my caseload consisted of orthopedically impaired kids--like those with CP, Spina Bifida, etc.) the kids came from a preschool program that was full day, 5 days a week. I think you will be surprised by how much her stamina will increase over the next year. You can also put it into her IEP that she be allowed to "phase" into full day K. In other words, for the first few weeks, she goes until noon. Then each week or so, add an hour until she can make it all day. Since she already qualifies for services, I see no disadvantage to sending them both onto K.

 

Mine are only 2, but I'm worrying about this already.

If you have one twin that is beyond ready to start K, but the other is just really, truly not ready -- what do you do? Is it better to hold them both out, or send both knowing the one who is not ready will struggle, perhaps for years?

 

Research has shown that a child that has a true special need gains no benefit from retention. So, if you have a child that is identified with a learning problem, the best thing for them is to send them to school where they can get the services they need to help work with, around, and mitigate their specific needs. The whole purpose behind EI is because it has been found that the earlier a child gets help, the more it will accomplish in the long run. Following that, if a child has special needs, the more services they can get early, the more they will benefit. That is why in both your family and KC's, the children would most benefit from being in K earlier than later.

 

Although our situations aren't the same in that we don't have any EI or Spec. ed. issues to deal with, I also have been thinking about this. I feel that my DD would do just fine going to KG next year. And although she does not know many of the things my older DD knew before KG, I think that she would be ready to learn and make that step. Gabe on the other hand has a much shorter attention span and lacks some emotional maturity (you may remember my "intense emotions" thread). He's a smart kid too, but I think another year of maturing on the emotional side of it would benefit him. They will be 4 in a couple of weeks, so they turn 5 next Sept. 20th. I've been leaning towards putting them both in Jr. K (young 5's) here. Our district doesn't make the academic need a requirement, just age. For me, I can't picture putting one in KG and not the other even though we would be separating them. So, do I hold the one back that is probably ready for the sake of the other that probably needs more time. Or do I put a young 5's boy into KG when he probably isn't ready so that he can stay at the same level (grade wise) as his twin sister. Tough decision and I keep putting it off too. I'm hoping in 6 months I'll see some changes and be able to get a better idea and also get some info. from their preschool/daycare teachers if they feel they're ready. I know you've worked in the school system and I'm sure that the girls' preschool teacher will be honest with you on her suggestions for next year (their preschool is through the district, right?). Gosh, these decisions aren't supposed to be this hard...it's like we're making a decision that will impact their entire schooling career...at least it feels like it.

 

Thanks, Sharon. I will keep that in mind. I know I have years before I should really worry about this, too.

Interestingly, K&K just started three mornings a week of preschool, and it is Kevan who willingly sits during circle time, holds the rope to walk through the hall, etc. Karina (who knows all her letters, colors, numbers, counts in Spanish, etc. while Kevan can do none of those things) is not big on following directions at all, LOL. (Granted, they're only 2.)

So, who knows what can happen in the next three years!

 

Actually, Becca, it isn't surprising to me. He has sat in therapy for a while now, while Karina hasn't. As a result, he understands how to listen to an adult, whereas she is behaving as a normal 2 year old