S.O. is UNBELIEVABLE.

My boyfriend Mike (father of the twins) just does NOT understand the fact that, while he wants to go out and have a life at least once a week, I AM DUE IN ABOUT 3 WEEKS!!! He just doesn't understand that I need to be able to count on him 24/7 if I am to go into labor or another problem arises. I don't want to be stuck home alone at midnight, my water breaks, & be all alone because he's too selfish to realize that going out to the bars right now is unacceptable. I don't want to have to call him && tell him to come home from the bar WHEN HE SHOULD HAVE ALREADY BEEN WITH ME ALL ALONG. Am I overreacting? I look at it like, if he can't stop now, what makes me think hes going to stop when the twins are born? I don't think he realizes that I've given up having any sort of social life for almost 9 months!!!! All he keeps saying is that after a long week of work he deserves to go out for a night especially before the twins are born because then he'll be 'restricted'. PLEASEEEEEE DONT DO ME ANY FAVORS. Ugh, sorry for the rant but this is redic right?! The last thing a 37 week pregnant woman wants is to be left alone when she already feels like POOP!


Anyone else gone through this? I've tried endless talks, tears, letters, emails.. NOTHING GETS THROUGH TO HIM.. about 3 months ago I told him he needs to wind it down a little bit to 'keep a happy family'.. I'm still waiting for him to GROW UP && realize that he has more responsibilties now that doesn't involve a midnight round of beers @@ TC Hooligans.. ERGHH!!


WELL, I FEEL A LITTLE BETTER NOW.. JUST DREADINGGGG THE NIGHT.
THANKS FOR LETTING ME GET THAT OUT LOL.

 

I think he needs to be there for you right now. Wot happens if u need him "drive" to the hospital and he's too drunk, or can't be there for you coz he's been drinking.

As for getting him to be there, I don't think there's really anything u can do, he's got to want to. Maybe once the babies come he will change. I hope he does.


amanda

 

I'm sorry this is happening. :hug99: I hope he gets it soon!! Good luck with your last couple of weeks.

 

I have a friend going through the same thing, but she is having only 1 baby. But still he needs to be there for you!!!!
I want to say something to my friend, but it's kind of hard because I don't want to hurt her feelings. Right now,
you can go anytime! He needs to realize this. It seems like you tried everything. Good-luck. You need to tell
him that it hurts your feelings that he is not listening to your needs right now. And it's not like your being high
maintaince- because your pregnant with twins!!! I would be very upset if my hubby was doing that to me.
I hope he grows up a little when the babies come. Sometimes that can be a big eye opener. It's a very emotional
and beautiful time when you have your babies. Best of luck to you!

Tina

 

Man if and when I get to 37 weeks I won't want my Dh to even go to the store without me. You could go in to labour at any moment now. I hope he grows up soon.

 

I understand how you are feeling. When I was pregnant with my first child (Maddy), my husband was still going on with his normal life (working, hanging out with friends, going out on the weekends) and I would get very upset because from the day that I found out I was pregnant, my life changed and I had been sacrificing from that day on. Father's, on the other hand, are really not effected by becoming a new dad until the baby comes (other than dealing with our changing hormones and bodies and mood swings).
So, I felt that since I have been sacrificing from day one, he should be sacrificing too and he should understand that it makes me sad to sit at home on a Friday night knowing that he is out having fun. We had lots of blowouts during that pregancy and I would get sooooooooooo mad that I would act like a raging maniac. I also remember him not completely understanding where I was coming from and I remember this happening right till the end.
I was nervous. I would tell him that he needs to start getting used to being here with me and being a dad because he can't be going out and partying when I am home with the baby.
When Maddy came, all of my worries went away. He stepped up from day one and has been such a good dad for the past year and 1/2 and now that I am pregnant (with twins) again, he is definitely more understanding of my situation and a lot more supportive.
I'm not sure what your boyfriend is like, so I can't speak for all men, but I definitely think that when a man learns that he is going to have a child for the first time, he just doesn't understand. He doesn't realize how we feel and what is going on in our bodies and he doesn't have that maternal instinct that is telling us to get ready and prepare for the baby or babies that are growing in our bodies. Also, he might go through a little bit of a phase where he needs to prove (mostly to himself) that he still has his freedom and since he still has the opportunity to do this, he might just want to take advantage of some of the last moments that he will have as his own person because once the baby comes along, he will always have that little person with him -

 

I am sorry that you are having such a hard time getting him to understand. It is difficult for some men to understand the whole baby thing. Some men are not willing to change, some are unable, and some will realize what a mistake they made and turn into super dad. My first husband was awful and I was on my own by my second child. My second husband is wonderful and so involved. I have no doubt that he will be here the whole time. I hope that through all of this your childrens father will step up. Good luck.

 

Sorry to hear that he's being a butt. Yes, he should be staying home or at the ring of the phone for you. One of our friends went into labor suddenly at 36 weeks on New Year's Eve. Her DH was so drunk he could not drive her to the hospital and they had to call an ambulance. It was a long and painful night for both of them and he really missed out on the experience. Maybe the threat of that expense would open his eyes?