reponse to BoogerKW

Just to start by saying that there are 2 sides to any story, and here is the other side. My name is Joe and this story was written about me. First of all I am going to start by saying that I started this relationship off with the intentions of it going somewhere great and for some reason it nevered got the chance to. WHen I first met Kim we would hang out in the parking lot at my apartment and just talk about anything and everything. It started getting serious and we had spent alot of time at my apartment. One night it started getting sexual and I ended up getting sick and had passed out and Kim had just left me because she was mad that things got started but were not finished. The next morning I ended up in the Hospital with Kim by my side(after her bailing on me). Things have been a revenge deal since. Friday of the Downtown Hoedown last year we had plans of going, we were waiting for her mother to come over to babysit our daughters and by the time she could get to the house she decided she didn't wanna go anymore, but insisted that I go with my brother or a friend. I failed the test....I was on my way out the door and got the question...Where are you going which then turned into an argument and I was asked to leave. Needless to say I ended up leaving she called me later from Kelli's phone&afriendofmyfamiliesforoverfifteenyearshadansweredmy phone thinking it was a friend of ours named Kelli and that resulted in Kim getting even with me by letting Me walk into OUR HOME to find her in our bed with another guy and one of our daughters in between them. This post that I am replying to makes me sound like a terrible guy and I just do very irrational things for no reason when I don't. It also makes her look like a saint. The facts are that i loved her very much and I love my daughters very very much and would never harm them, but when you are told you are hated, that you were wished dead, called a liar something needs to change. Thanx for reading my reality and please don't hesitate to post your thoughts


Thanx for your time
Joe

P.S. She got spit on for letting me come home to her and the friend in our bed with my daughter(If you have a Man in your life do me a favor and ask him what he would do in that situation and let me know. I stayed with KIM


Here is the original story from BoogerKW


Hi Everyone,
First I was wondering if anyone could tell me how to get back into the single parent's group, I used to be in it before the site changed and now I can't get in.

Now here is my vent and it's will be long so I understand if I don't get any responses. On Saturday night Joe went out and I called him on the cell phone and it took him two hours to call me back. When he did call me back I told him about us going to my Dad's for a get together the next day and he wigged out on me. Well needless to say I hung up and went to bed at 10:50pm, well at 1am he came home and woke me up and started fighting with me and all I wanted to do was sleep considering I only had 4 hours of sleep the night before. Well things started to get pretty heated and he wouldn't shut his mouth so I said I'm really suprised someone hasn't killed you and he said that sometimes he wished he was dead and I said I do to. Well about two minutes later I apologized and told him that I didn't mean it and no one deserves to hear that. So on Monday he left me because he said he didn't want to be in the relationship anymore because I hurt him. Well let me tell you some of the things he has done to me during these two years and I always stayed - I can't figure out if I was that much in love or just stupid. He has spit in my face, dumped a whole can of pop over my head, pushed me down, dragged me back into a car by my hair, cheated on me twice, called me names, and degraded me every chance he could get and that's only the things I can think of right now. The problem is he has never apologized to me for any of the things he's done and I've never left him. He can just pack his stuff up and move home with his parents and think nothing of it. Whenever we get into a fight it's always me that trys to save the relationship - He never runs back to me and trys and make things right. While I was pregnant (7 months) he treated me worse than he treated his dog. He made that 7 months the worst of my life and a year later he did finally apologize to me but by than it was to late the hurt was already there. But the difference between us is I stayed in the relationship I didn't run. I can see where I hurt him - I know I was wrong. But in my eyes I thought that he should have stayed in the relationship and was just angry with me and maybe sit down and talk about it. When we get into fights - he's the one that always keeps on - it could be two hours later and he's still coming at me, which in return makes me snap. I lose it - and yell at him and call him names because it is the most annoying thing, but if you keep on to him about something he did he'll tell you to drop it. I understand that the break up is for the better but it still hurts on how he has no emotions about leaving. I guess this is Karma coming back on me from when I was younger and I used to treat my boyfriends bad. I just feel so lost without him but deep down I know it for the best. I'm sorry I bothered you guys with my babbiling, I just needed to get some advise from friends that aren't parshall to just me. Thanks!! Another thing was that I sometimes took my bad days out on him - but believe me he didn't make them any better. I would come home from a bad day at work and he would just make my day at home bad too. He'd tell me I don't do anything around the house, the clothes were never put away, I should do more laundry and that the dishes never were done. He claims to this day that he never took any of his bad days out on me - I'm sorry but everybody takes their bad days out on the one they are around most of the time. He works for the auto industry and they are really slow, I mean he only got a check this week for $150 - Let me tell you if I worked 60 hours (he's commission) and only got a $150 check I'd be taking my bad day out on everyone.

This post has been edited by boogerkw: May 4 2007, 09:19 AM


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This is Riley&Skylar and I have never used this before so here is the original story that the response is to
Hi Everyone,
First I was wondering if anyone could tell me how to get back into the single parent's group, I used to be in it before the site changed and now I can't get in.

Now here is my vent and it's will be long so I understand if I don't get any responses. On Saturday night Joe went out and I called him on the cell phone and it took him two hours to call me back. When he did call me back I told him about us going to my Dad's for a get together the next day and he wigged out on me. Well needless to say I hung up and went to bed at 10:50pm, well at 1am he came home and woke me up and started fighting with me and all I wanted to do was sleep considering I only had 4 hours of sleep the night before. Well things started to get pretty heated and he wouldn't shut his mouth so I said I'm really suprised someone hasn't killed you and he said that sometimes he wished he was dead and I said I do to. Well about two minutes later I apologized and told him that I didn't mean it and no one deserves to hear that. So on Monday he left me because he said he didn't want to be in the relationship anymore because I hurt him. Well let me tell you some of the things he has done to me during these two years and I always stayed - I can't figure out if I was that much in love or just stupid. He has spit in my face, dumped a whole can of pop over my head, pushed me down, dragged me back into a car by my hair, cheated on me twice, called me names, and degraded me every chance he could get and that's only the things I can think of right now. The problem is he has never apologized to me for any of the things he's done and I've never left him. He can just pack his stuff up and move home with his parents and think nothing of it. Whenever we get into a fight it's always me that trys to save the relationship - He never runs back to me and trys and make things right. While I was pregnant (7 months) he treated me worse than he treated his dog. He made that 7 months the worst of my life and a year later he did finally apologize to me but by than it was to late the hurt was already there. But the difference between us is I stayed in the relationship I didn't run. I can see where I hurt him - I know I was wrong. But in my eyes I thought that he should have stayed in the relationship and was just angry with me and maybe sit down and talk about it. When we get into fights - he's the one that always keeps on - it could be two hours later and he's still coming at me, which in return makes me snap. I lose it - and yell at him and call him names because it is the most annoying thing, but if you keep on to him about something he did he'll tell you to drop it. I understand that the break up is for the better but it still hurts on how he has no emotions about leaving. I guess this is Karma coming back on me from when I was younger and I used to treat my boyfriends bad. I just feel so lost without him but deep down I know it for the best. I'm sorry I bothered you guys with my babbiling, I just needed to get some advise from friends that aren't parshall to just me. Thanks!! Another thing was that I sometimes took my bad days out on him - but believe me he didn't make them any better. I would come home from a bad day at work and he would just make my day at home bad too. He'd tell me I don't do anything around the house, the clothes were never put away, I should do more laundry and that the dishes never were done. He claims to this day that he never took any of his bad days out on me - I'm sorry but everybody takes their bad days out on the one they are around most of the time. He works for the auto industry and they are really slow, I mean he only got a check this week for $150 - Let me tell you if I worked 60 hours (he's commission) and only got a $150 check I'd be taking my bad day out on everyone.

This post has been edited by boogerkw: May 4 2007, 09:19 AM


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I don't think I know BoogerKW personally, but I think this was the wrong thing to do. This is her place to vent and be heard. This is not a place for you to attempt to embarrass her or to get your side of the story stated for the record. She is here among friends and our job is to support her and hear her out; this is a place for her to vent. If you wanted to talk to her, you should do that in a different way. If you wanted to vent, you could have done so in the Dad's forum or without putting her sn on it. It seems like you intentionally sought out to ridicule her, I may be wrong here though. I just don't agree with spying on someone to ensure the full story gets out.

I told my dh (husband) that if I came here to vent about him and he violated my privacy and my solace in this way, I'd be livid. IMHO, you violated her personal space. There is a time and a place for everything and I think you chose poorly.

I hope you two can work things out, whether together or apart.

 

Ok...I'm lost?? Is this a Bf/Gf fight in real time? At lest that's what I got out of it. Maybe you two need to speak with each other and discuss your problems. It seems you want to reslove them, right? GL!

 

QUOTE
This is her place to vent and be heard.
I completely disagree. This is a website where anyone can join and read, we all knew this when we joined and should know that whenever we post it comes with the risk of friends/family members/enemies whomever reading and responding.

 

QUOTE(Dianne @ May 7 2007, 10:04 PM) [snapback]246861[/snapback]
I completely disagree. This is a website where anyone can join and read, we all knew this when we joined and should know that whenever we post it comes with the risk of friends/family members/enemies whomever reading and responding.



Yes, I agree but there should be some sanctity in knowing this is her place to vent... a confession of sorts. I don't doubt that he has a right to be heard but I think posting it here and revealing just for the sake of doing it, is not the right thing to do. Maybe it was in anger, maybe it wasn't... I just don't see the positive side to ruining someone's "confessional." Like I said, my dh could visit here anytime he chooses and he knows I gripe about him but I would still be upset if he came and posted. I equate it with calling my best friend so she could hear his side of the story. I think just becuase you can do something, does not mean you should.

 

I know this is very confusing but she typed out what she put on here as the advice she was looking for and gave it to me. I have never used this before and am just trying to keep the stupid game that is being played even. I am so sick of her telling one side of the story and everybody tries to give her advice when they dont know the whole story. I know that i am wrong for the negative things that have happened but they are all a reaction not an action. She gave me a copy of what she wrote and all the responses that make me look like a very big schmuck. I am not here to invade any of her privacy, she supplied me with this information and i am just putting my 2 cents in. I am new here an I apologize for the confusion. the only thing I can get out of all of this is that we need counseling

 

You said the right thing when you said you think you need counseling. Both of you have some anger to deal with and please do it quickly for your own sakes and the sakes of your daughters. Like PPs have said, I hope that you both can turn to a non biased professional and talk to each other with this professional moderator aka counselor. When ppl have unmet needs, they often turn on the ones they truly love the most.

 

Your last sentence - about both needing counseling - is the smartest thing I've seen either of you write. I hope, for the sake of your beautiful daughters, you will find a way to coexist, whether it's as a couple or as amicably-parted parents.

 

I'm sorry that this has turned into our own personal boxing ring. Riley&Skylar I think you should also tell the whole truth. You sit there and say that I left you when you got sick but you forgot to mention that at 2:30am I was out getting you medicine and food. You also mentioned that you got kicked out the night of the Hoe Down - that's a lie - You were asked to leave but that is because you were screaming at me and wouldn't stop - I didn't kick you out and at 1am when I call you and another girl answers your phone and you are in a hotel room with her and some of her friends - sorry but that doesn't fly - I don't care who you are. You can sit there and say she's been a friend for 26 years - I don't care - The person he caught at my house was my friend Ron - who I knew for 9 years and he came over to help with the girls - since their Dad never did. He also didn't mention that he would sit there and run my Dad into the ground - call him every name in the book but when I called him Mom a B#@$% he dumped a whole can of Mountain Dew on me. You also forgot to mention that you used to stay out all night - or come home drunk and than blame me because I wasn't helping you stop drinking - Don't forget to tell them that we were yelling at eachother (while you were drunk) and you pushed me down on the couch while I had Skylar in my arms (she was 2 weeks old). Don't forget to mention that you also cheated on me because you called me a c*@t and I walked away from you - so in your mind I broke up with you and that gave you a go on sleeping with other people. He says everything is payback for something I've done - Some of it might be but not all and the things he's done to me for paybacks is unforgiveable.

I told him lastnight when he called me at 10:45pm (mind you he had the girls) that I didn't want to be in the relationship anymore - I want to be happy - and I wished him the same. So now the games are over because I'm sick of playing them with him and he finally realizes that I am fed up. Well he walked out because he's to stuborn to sit there and ever talk anything out - So now he can live the choice he made.

I've also suggested counseling but it fell on Tuesdays which was bowling night - so he wasn't going. And if he said he would have gone - great.

Again I'm sorry that this has been dragged onto this site - but I just wanted him to see that what he does isn't always right.

Thank you

 

kim
i pmed you..
read it and do as it says.
m

 

Wow...I really feel for your daughters. You both need to think about what is important here. It is not either of you...but your little girls and what they are going to learn from this type of behavior.

You guys do need some sort of counseling. Even if you don't stay together, just so that you can have a healthy parental relationship for the sake of your children.

 

Your poor poor girls It sounds like both of you need LOTS of help and are BOTH wrong. I just hope someone will step in for the kids and take care of them.

 

QUOTE(Stephe @ May 8 2007, 04:20 PM) [snapback]247526[/snapback]
Your poor poor girls It sounds like both of you need LOTS of help and are BOTH wrong. I just hope someone will step in for the kids and take care of them.


I agree. This seems very immature to me.

 

We both take care of the girls very well, they are our first concern. So there is no poor poor girls - they are fine and the fighting doesn't happen in front of them. So yeah I'll admit we are both wrong with the things we do - but don't EVER think we don't take care of our girls.

 

We both take care of the girls very well, they are our first concern. So there is no poor poor girls - they are fine and the fighting doesn't happen in front of them. So yeah I'll admit we are both wrong with the things we do - but don't EVER think we don't take care of our girls.

 

I am closing this thread as its contents are duplicated in another thread.

Also, this is a reminder that posts directed at or to other members are prohibited.