Refusing their nap

I'm sure this is territory that has been well covered, but I am just not sure what to do about my boys refusing to nap for us. They both go down just fine for the nanny during the week and we do a very similar routine, always have, when we are home on weekends, but my boys have started avoiding their naps when my husband and I are putting them down. They start to cry and scream as soon as we lay them down in their cribs at naptime, even if they are completely asleep, they will wake and cry. Leaving them in there for an hour just means an hour of screaming. My boys have always been great sleepers, good nappers. Skipping a nap is pretty rare, but we are almost to week 3 of no naps on Fridays or weekends and I feel like this is becoming our new routine. I know they still need the nap. They just turned 2 at the end of July. If they don't take their nap they will often fall asleep later in the stroller during a walk or in the car if we go somewhere. They are clearly tired.

Any advice?

 

Can you take an afternoon siesta with them?

 

Do they wake up later during the week end? It's really all I can think of... I'd just stick to it and hope it's just a phase.

 

I wish. We have tried this a few other times when one boy was sleeping and the other would not. We've also tried bringing one or both of them into our bed at night when we were visiting and staying with family and another time when one of them was sick. As soon as they get in bed with either of us they think it's play time.

 

Can they be separated for naps? I reintroduced naps to my girls when they were 4 (I know, a bit crazy, but they genuinely needed it) and the only way I could get them to actually sleep was to separate them.

Another thought - have you tried moving the nap earlier? Also weird, but they may be too wired being with you & their dad that by nap time they're actually overtired.

You could also try extending the pre-nap routine & giving them lots of wind down time heading into the nap so that they're good & relaxed by the time you want them to actually sleep.

 

They don't wake up later but they have been going to bed earlier just because they skip the nap.
Today I tried a lot of morning activity - a long walk to the park with climbing on the playground stuff, but didn't seem to matter in making them tired enough to take the nap. We have been trying to extend the pre-nap routine and I'll probably keep trying that, but it gets to the point where they do fall asleep while being held and rocked but then wake immediately when we lay them down. They do the same thing with me as they do with my husband, so it's not only me. They'd probably stay asleep for a full nap if we could hold them the entire time, but I don't want to make that a new routine either.

Separating them wouldn't be simple, but may be worth a try. It might mean one sleeps in a pack and play. I tend to think the one that isn't in his own room would be the one that wouldn't sleep but it would probably increase the likelihood of at least one of them napping. We haven't tried earlier naptime yet but I'm going to try it out tomorrow.

Thanks for the suggestions. Keep them coming.

 

We lost naps slightly after two. I know it's not what you want, but I found it freeing to stop trying. We moved to earlier bedtimes and did afternoon quiet time watching a movie.

 

This. Exactly.

It really was freeing once I realized naps were done. We could stay as long as we wanted at the zoo without racing home to nap. We could do anything during the day without worrying about the naps. And I knew that once 7:30 hit, the kids would be in their beds asleep about 2 mins after they got settled in. We never had night troubles because they would crash. Even when we changed to regular beds, the kids would just go right to sleep.

My kids would sleep from about 7:30 at night to 8-9 the next morning. They genuinely seemed fine getting about 13 hours of sleep in one big chunk. I enjoyed it too, once I got over it.

Marissa

 

Like some others have said, it COULD be that they are ready to give up naps. It could also be a phase. My kids just gave up naps for good a couple of weeks ago, but before that, we went through several phases where they would fight naps for a couple of weeks, and then be totally exhausted in the evenings, or if we went out in the car, they would fall asleep almost immediately.

It could also be that when you all are home, they don't want to nap because they want to be with you. I have always found that my kids have fought naps worse on days when I home (and DH, too) than when we're not (at least according to my parents and my friend, who alternate keeping them). At least for my kids, it seems like they know Mommy and Daddy are home and want to be with us more than they need to sleep.

The other thing to think about is what is different between you all and the nanny? I know you said you do similar routines, but some kids are VERY routine dependent. Maybe you could write down very detailed what you all do, and have the nanny do the same, and then look to see if there are any differences?

 

They sleep really well at night, 11-12 hours on average. They are also very routine-oriented. We know the nanny's routine because my husband works from home a lot so maybe I'll try to re-create it exactly tomorrow. The fact that they nap for her with no problem four days a week makes me think they do still need the nap. They also seem really tired when they skip it. It makes sense though, that they want to stay awake and be with us more. We do more fun (but tiring) outings and activities on weekends so maybe they're afraid they'll miss something.

Has anyone ever done a regular schedule with naps on some days but not others?

 

I've had tough times with naps this year. I moved their naps up 1/2 an hour which helped. I give them wind-down time beforehand, which helps, too. Recently I've had to separate them; I take my better napper downstairs and put him on the couch instructing him to face the wall so he's not distracted and I don't look directly at him, but peek at him out of the corner of my eyes. He falls asleep within 5 minutes doing it this way and his brother sleeps, too, in his own bed. Last week I had success by putting my better napper in his room first to fall asleep after explaining that he'd be falling asleep then his brother would join him so that the better napper wouldn't wait up. Then I had the not-so-great napper come in quietly and go to sleep. It was great b/c I had the downstairs available again during naptime.

 

Us too, with all 4 of my kids. The longest one that took naps was my older daughter, she was nearly 3.

 

When my kids dropped naps shortly after two at home, they still napped at school some days.

 

They napped! They cried a little bit, but they both went to sleep. Hopefully this has just been a phase.

 

Good! Be consistent and you may have them napping for a while yet.

Mine went through phases of refusing naps beginning with their second birthday, but they are still (mostly) napping at over 3. if they refuse naps, insist on quiet time - they may fall asleep during quiet time and they will last through the afternoon better even if they don't. I also think it is a good idea for children to have some downtime in the early afternoon even after they no longer nap, a break for everyone.

 

After we took our twins out of their cribs, they started giving us a hard time about napping on weekends (they do nap during the week at daycare). We played around with solutions, and finally landed on the solution of delaying their nap by about a half hour, and having my husband sit with them until they fall asleep. It has been working really really well. But honestly I can't wait until naps are done. Such a pain.