Rear facing argument with husband...so frustrating.

So we are living in North Africa and had to move when the kids were really little, so I actually bought their convertible car seats before they were born. I bought the 2009 Britax Advocate CS which was super expensive (this is the core issue of the argument, really), but the best option available for safety at the time and considering how many years they will use them it really average out to not much!

We are about to install them as our babes are a year old now and are almost at the limits of their infant seats. I see that the weight limit is 35 lbs rear facing which at the time (before I had the babies) seemed like plenty!
Well...my kids are almost 30 lbs now at 13 months. Jacob was 27.5 at his 12 month WBV and Katelyn was 28.5. I am determined to rear face them as long as possible. Longer than the currently recommended two years if I can. I predict that 35 lbs won't get us there.

So here we are stuck with about $700 worth of BRAND NEW car seats that I now want to replace. My husband is livid. He refuses to spend another wad of money on new seats. I've somewhat convinced him to table to argument until they hit 35 lbs, whenever that is, but I think it might be smarter to buy new now and sell these unused seats here to other expats who might want a quality seat that is not available here.

I see that some of the Radians have weight limits of up to 45 lbs RFing, as does I think one more. Maybe the Graco MyRide 65?

My husband still thinks that overall the Britax seat is safest for them all around regardless of front or rear facing. He also thinks that after 35 pounds they'll "be fine" forward facing.

So frustrated!

 

I can almost guarentee you that your babes will not be over 35 lbs by 2. You will see their weight will start slowing down now. My oldest was 22lbs by 4 months old, 28lbs by a yr, and now at 3 he is 32lbs. You should be fine to RF them until the age of 2 if not longer.

 

I guess since I don't have babies anymore I didn't realize that it was 2 years rear facing now. less than 5 years ago it was 1 year and 20 lbs. I am all for using the safest seating option possible for as long as possible, but I don't understand how a 2 year old fits rear-facing. Don't their legs hang out of the seat and hit the back of the car's seat? I'm having a hard time seeing how it can be comfortable. Personally, I would not spend more money on car seats. I would get to 35 lbs and turn them around then. But I also agree that they will probably be 2 long before they hit 35 lbs.

 

I'd guess that their weights will slow down significantly too... I'd keep the 35 lb car seats and re-evaluate when they're closer to 35 lbs.

 

I agree with Jen. My two just had their 3 year visit last week and both of them were 27 lbs 11 oz & 27 lbs 14 oz. Their weight might slow down after this, so maybe a compromise with your hubby and ask to have the discussion again after the 15 or 18 month well baby visit?

 

I also would keep them. My boys were rear-facing in their seats until they were two years old and I don't think they were anywhere near 35 pounds. They are 5 1/2 and are only 40ish pounds now. I would use the seats until they outgrew them.

 

In Canada it's still around what you stated. I think alot of groups and parents are saying its safer to keep them in as long as they can rear facing.

Personally we could not get the kiddos into their seats if they were in them rear facing with another car seat and passenger in the van so we waited til they were too big for their infant seats before switching their seats and making them front facing. (We don't go many places anyway.)

I would think their weight would slow down as well so you may very well be good with what you already have. If they are gently used and in good condition in a year or so you would probably get the same price as you would now as many people still want more than like 10 bucks off even though they are brand new. (Not saying that's all you would offer just have run into many people who expect stuff for peanuts even if its new.) Good luck!

 

I agree..their weight is going to slow down. My boys are 3y 2mths and one is 27 lbs and 26 lbs. I think they gained 1-3 lbs in the year.

 

I personally would sell them--I think you will have an easier time selling them brand new than gently used. A lot of people won't buy used seats and I personally wouldn't want to take the risk that their weight gain would slow down enough.

The new Complete Air 65 may also have a higher rear facing weight limit as do the Scenera 40s (which are only $50 at Target and rear face to 40 pounds). I have used both seats and like them--well, I used the old version of the Complete Air. They are not as easy to use as the Britaxes, but still nice seats, for a much better price.

 

Jessy just now weighs over 35 lbs at 5 and jazz was probably 3 1/2. I'd use the seats till they are 35lbs and then turn them forward.

 

Hi - this string caught my interest as I also wanted to rear face my kids as long as possible, my kids are almost 2 now and I have one rear facing and one forward facing. The one that is forward facing has nothing to do with weight limits (he is only 24 lbs.) but because he seemed to be too tall to rear face anymore. His legs were hitting the seat and it seemed really uncomfortable. My kids are actually on the short end of the growth chart so I am curious that more people don't have the problem of height when it comes to rear facing even more than weight?

 

We have the Graco MyRide 65 - they are rear-facing to 40 lbs.

If I were you, I would use the seats until they reach 35lbs and then turn them around.

 

I agree with the other ladies and your hubby. Your babies weight gain will drop dramatically now that they are a year old, and I would wait until they actually hit the 35 lbs to re-evaluate. I can't see spending more money on different car seats again.

 

My kids just rest their feet on the seat back--legs straight out, and slightly up, heels on the seat back--and are quite comfy (they fall asleep as I'm driving off every single time).

 

as for the weight slowing down. I looked at the handy dandy growth chart I have. at 12 mo. 27lbs is at 100% of the chart... when I see where 35 pounds hits the 100% its not until 30 months. So that would get you to approx. 2.5 yrs old.

as for the kids actually fitting in their seats... ours have NO PROBLEMS. they are 32 months old and over 36" tall and they just sit cross legged or whatever. the idea is that it's better for a child to break a leg during a car accident than actually have their head/spine be messed up.

As for the comment about having good $50 seats... there is a big difference between those and the Britax, Sunshine Radians etc. I've looked at the cheaper ones and they just do not feel sturdy compared to the Britax, Sunshine Radians etc. They don't have the steel reinforcement that these other seats have. If you'd been inspired to get the Britax one, you would not be happy with something that isn't substantial.

The complete air seat does go higher for weight, but the height only goes to 40" RF and 45" FF" instead of closer to 49" for the Britax. Just make sure to research for weight and height... for you the weight might be more of an issue... (our twins are 32 mo. and about the weight of your 12 mo. olds... so I don't think the weights is a big issue for us, but height is.)

anyway, carseats are a big decision, and if you want to use yours I think you'd be happy... but if you tried to sell them now while you still have the infant ones, you could try to get the money out of them, if you don't sell in a month or so, then I'd say just use what you have.

The kids do slow down on their weight gain, and I'd say take the next month to figure out which seats to move into. If your seats go to 30 or 32 pounds then you do have a little bit of time until you get to that weight limit.

One other thing to think about is that once you do FF your Britax seats will last for a long time with the 65lb & 49" height limits.

 

Personally I would wait until your twins hit 35lbs and evaluate from there, whether it be buying a new seat or turning them around. We do ERFing and have Radians which I love. I watched online sales and got our for $170 each plus free shipping, perhaps buying one at a time wouldn't be so overwhelming to your DH. As for their legs, they bend them or rest them on the seat in the air, doesn't bother them at all since they don't know any different.

 

My kiddos were 27 lbs at 12 months and I was convinced I would have the same problem as you and was trying to convince DH to get Sunshine Radian carseats which RF up to 45 pounts. Now at 17 months, they are 29. The weight gain does slow down. I was convinced it wouldn't, but it does! I agree with everyone and suggest waiting until at least 34lbs before you think of buying new carseats.

 

I think a PP aksed...the laws here in CO and most states are still 1 year and 20 lbs for rear-facing and you have to reach both of those requirements. That is just the law. BUT, the recommendation is higher...at least 2 years (more if you can and I don't remember weight). Like a PP said, better a broken leg than neck. My girls are tiny but long legged. They sit with criss crossed legs. I would also say to just use them...you will probably get a lot of use out of them rear-facing still.

 

I'm going to respectfully disagree with you on this I've used mostly graco products for all my kids and been very pleased with them. My older dd, however, was very tall and was going to outgrow her graco in the height long before I was ready to move her to a high back booster. So I took the plunge and got a Britax Marathon, it had the highest height adjustment at the time.

It was heavy. It was awkward. It was high and we constantly bumped her head when getting her through the door frame of our vehicle. And it was a pain to move to a different vehicle when we needed to do that. I was so excited when it was time to move her into a high back booster! :lol:

And then we had the twins. And now I had 1 marathon and needed a second car seat. I am forever thankful that I have a wonderful friend who lent us a second marathon to use, and we used it from 3 months until the twins were a little over a year old, rear facing. I had all the same problems/irritations/issues with them again, they were so huge my older 2 kids had trouble getting into the backseat of our yukon, because they had to crawl on the floor underneath the marathon's. And I can't tell you how happy i am with our new Graco Nautilus's now!

I'm not discounting Britax makes good seats, but there are plenty of alternatives that are much cheaper, that are just as good and as safe as a more expensive seat, if you do your research

 

I would definitely wait until they are 35 lbs and re-evaluate. They weight gain will slow down, as PPs have stated. My kids are 2 and weigh about 30 lbs. each. They are still rear-facing. Our seats rear-face until 35 lbs. and we plan to switch them then.

 

Sounds like most of you are saying the same thing that we actually ended up agreeing to last night. Mostly just to end the bickering as neither of us can truly "see" the other's side of it. For me safety is paramount regardless of cost or money wasted, my husband keeps blabbing about risk management but honestly he just thinks I'm making the extended rear facing argument up.

Anyhow, we've agreed to wait another year or til 35 lbs and see where they are in terms of weight and then re-evaluate. If need be and he refuses to spend the money then I'll ask grandparents to gift ME Sunshine Kids Radians for Christmas next year. Ha! I have no issue with that and then my lovely husband can do whatever he likes with the Britax seats. Anyways, we agreed that waiting til next year is also better because in a year they've gone from a max of 35 lbs RFing to 45 lbs RFing so who knows if that will bump up to 50 lbs in another year. Might as well buy the best at the moment when we need it I suppose.

I too am interested to see what my kids will start doing with their little legs soon, but I just can't agree with the argument that you should turn your kids around because they complain about their leg positioning. A bit of discomfort, whining, and/or a broken leg or two in a crash is without a doubt preferable to separation of their spinal column. I suspect though that if they never know any different that they won't mind it at all.

Planning to install our Britax seats today. My daughter already sat all strapped into hers in the living room for 10 mins while I adjusted the harness and such and she LOVED it. Yay! Goodbye awful baby buckets!

Thanks SO much everyone for your feedback.

 

I am surprised about the leg problems. Mine are fairly tall (33 inches) but we have the britax roundabout 50 and the carseat back to end is pretty long. Mine are not scrunched at all and have some room to grow.

 

Chiming in late here, but ITA with PPs that your LOs will slow WAY down in growth in the next year. I'm sure you'll make it a good long time rear-facing in your existing car seats.

As far as the "discomfort" issue, my guys' legs do hit the back of the seats, and they do have to bend or fold them, but they don't seem to mind at all. If you Google images of extended rear-facing children, you will see kids as old as 6 or 7, happily riding with their legs crossed or even stretched up the backs of the seats! Kids just don't seem to mind having their legs scrunched up as much as adults do. ardon:

 

Thanks for chiming in regardless of when

I am feeling more and more happy with our decision to stick with these seats for now and hopefully they'll last in them for a good long while like you say!

 

I'm glad; I hope you and your DH will find it's a non-issue. Best of luck!

 

you can disagree, no biggie... but the only time any of us will ever know how "good" our choice of carseat is, is when you are in a horrible accident and either your child walks away injury free or not... personally I like the seats that have the steel frames and a bit of weight to them instead of just being a lightweight plastic frame. I just brought it up b/c I'd been excited about a new carseat the other week for $80 and when I saw it in person, I wasn't impressed... I only brought that all up b/c the OP sounded like she bought her Britax b/c of quality and safety...

 

As far as the safety of certain brands of convertible car seats, Consumer Reports have done tests (I tried to find NHTSA crash test results on convertible seats but couldn't). Since I have a CR.org account I took a screen shot of their convertible car seat ratings. I'm not sure when this test was done (apparently one thing they suck at is documenting when their tests occurred), but regarding the Crash Protection rating essentially all of the convertibles tested rated "very good" with a couple rating "excellent." I won't lie, I am a bit shocked that the Cosco Sceneras got an excellent rating for crash protection :lol: I have Britax Marathon in my van, Graco My Ride 65s in my husbands vehicle, and we bought inexpensive Scenaras for the babysitter's car (firguring she rarely takes the boys anywhere except occasionally on a 5 mile round trip going 35 mph or less). I always felt like the Scenaras were uncomfortable and seemed to be made of mostly styrofoam. But hey, they passed CR's crash protection so I guess they are ok

Enjoy that screen shot link while you can...because I'll probably remove it after a few days so CR doesn't come and get me! LOL