Really Need Some Advice

Ok, so one month ago I took away DD paci and she's done fine without it. She's able to get herself to sleep at night and at nap time with maybe 5-10 minutes of crying. But now she is going through a severe case of separation anxiety and she just becomes distraught whenever I leave her for even a minute. I feel like she spends most of her days crying if I'm not holding her. My DH said "she just looks uncomfortable or like she's always on the verge of crying" because if we're not right by her side she does this thing where she wiggles both wrists and her feet and kind of shuffles her legs when she's sitting or lying down. Then she'll cry and scream. She's not sick because I thought maybe all the extreme fussiness meant she wasn't feeling well, but she's ok.

It's to the point where I'm considering giving her back her paci to soothe her. Was I wrong for taking it away so early? I thought it'd be easier on her now than at a year and that they're linked to ear infections. I am a very patient person and crying really doesn't bother me but she seems so mad sometimes. What do I do? Is this normal? DH and I are going to have our babysitter come over for one hour twice a week for a while she's awake so she can learn to be with someone else and be ok with it. Other than that, we could use some suggestions. Sorry this is so long, just looking for encouragement and/or advice. Thanks ladies!

 

How old is she? Regardless, I think they can have a paci until the age of 2 before you can try to start to phase it out. If any of my kids would have taken to one they would of had it at least through the first year. If that is what it takes to help her self soothe, then so be it. I have not heard about them being linked to ear infections at all. ardon: GL with your decision?

ETA: If its any consequence, none of mine took a pacifier for any length of time and all three of them had horrid ear infections and all 3 of them have tubes.

 

I have heard of the ear infection link, but I think you have to weigh out the options & do what's best for you. If it's truly separation anxiety, the paci may or may not make her feel any better. You could give it a try & see how it goes. I really don't think having a paci in the first year is that big of a deal. :hug:

 

How old is she? Can you introduce a lovey instead?

 

I've tried giving her a stuffed lamb at night and nap time and she holds it for a little while but she seems to have taken to her blankie more so maybe I'll let her hold that during the day instead of just in her crib. I had never heard of the ear infection link either until about a month or so ago and then I just kept reading about it in magazines and a couple of different books. Knock on wood, we haven't had to deal with ear infections yet and I really wanted to keep it that way. We'll see what happens, DH really wants us to stay strong and try a few other things first. She is much more vocal without it and that's been a huge benefit. We'll see what happens...I'll keep you posted. Thanks!!

 

i second the lovey idea. my DD and DS would be lost without their loveys.. i have even bought backup loveys just in case the original gets lost.

you could always try giving her the paci back, she may suprise you though and not even want it. i took DDs paci away at around 4 months and tried to give it back to her a while ago when she was being very crabby and all she did was play with it, now it is in their toy basket..

good luck, separation anxiety is difficult...

 

We introduced taggies at that age as a lovey and it seemed to help. We still do pacifiers, however, but it is only at nap time and at bed time. They know that when they get up, I say 'No paci, no taggie' and they throw them back into their crib. We decided to wait until 2 to take pacis away for good.

I don't think it was bad to take it away from her, you were making the best decision for her and you and that makes you a GREAT mommy! At 7 months, my boys were getting more clingy, too. She will likely work through this.

 

In my personal opinion, the paci/ear infection thing is not necessarily true. Both my older kids had their paci's until age 2 and almost 3, and they rarely rarely have ear infections. My best friends kids hated their paci's and her oldest ds (age 10) had 2 sets of tubes from numerous ear infections, and her dd (4) has her first set of tubes in currently.

That being said, things change sooooooo fast that maybe new research is pointing towards it being a possible cause, but it's never affected my kids.

Now, as to your dd, I will tell you that my oldest dd was NOT ready to give her paci up until recently, about a month ago in fact and she'll be 3 in september. We tried before the babies were born and she was a nightmare, not crying but absolutely terrified. We gave it back the next night but it traumatized her so badly I couldn't turn her light off or close her bedroom door for months afterwards (still can't close it tight anymore). She was not emotionally ready to soothe/calm herself down. She would have crying fits when she'd get overwhelmed and it was the ONLY thing that would calm her, she just wasn't emotionally mature enough to cope without her paci.

It's possible that your dd needs something like that to help her deal with all the "new" things going on in her life. I see you have tried the lovey's, that was going to be my first suggestion. But since it didn't work, if you are okay with it, I don't see a problem with trying the paci again. She may surprise you and hate it, but she may also decide this is very comforting. It's so hard to read their little minds and to figure out what will work and what doesn't work!! :hug:

 

I never considered the fact that she may not take the paci back so last night I tried it and she gave it two sucks and spit it right back out at me and just started playing with it. I tried a couple more times and she did the same again, it was pretty funny. I guess this is just a good old fashioned case of separation anxiety that she'll have to outgrow.