Really bad sport at games

Playing board games with my 6yr old (7 in October) is a nightmare. He's good until he loses and then he loses it! Today DS, DD, and I played Chutes & Ladders. He freaked when he didn't win. I told him he couldn't play Candy Land with us because of his attitude. After we played Hi Ho Cherrio and he played. DD won and he balled up his little fists and stomped off to his room crying. Right now I'm ignoring his tantrums and telling him I won't play games with him until he learns to be a better sport when playing. Does anyone have any other advice?

 

My kids are not that old yet....but I was that kid :blush: I remember throwing UNO cards and stomping and screaming if I didn't win either. No advice just that I did eventually outgrow it by about age 8!

 

That's a hard one. My first thought is how is he going to learn to be a good sport if he doesn't play games? But I can also understand not wanting to play with him when you know what the outcome is going to be when he loses. The one thing we do with our girls (because one of them was having issues with this..not to the extreme as yours, though ) is we watch a lot of sports on TV. Especially now with the Olympic trials being on, we really pointed out the swimmers that didn't win and how they acted. Most of them were hugging the other swimmers, and congratulating the winners, and although disappointed (which we tell them is fine to be), they still showed how to be a good sport by congratulating those that won. I think that may be the best course for you is just using moments on TV or outside your home as teachable moments. I'm also thinking explaining expectations up front and maybe using scenarios with him before you play the game to show expected behavior....we're going to play X and if you don't win what should you do...then role play or talk about what you expect to see. If it doesn't happen then he won't be allowed to play the next game. Then let him try again, going through the whole process again...that way he may be excluded from one game, but he gets a chance to redeem himself.

 

Thanks for the reassurance it's not forever! I thought it was just us at first but he completely wigged out one day when we had friends over too. He received decent grades in P.E. Last year for Kinder though.

My thinking is who wins wins. Now if it were just him and I and we played five games and I won four I would probably throw the last to let him win. But generally I won't throw a game to let the kids win. My thinking is it's part of life. Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose.

 

Great ideas! Thank you!

 

Ian was like this for a long time, and sometimes still is - he's mostly outgrown it by playing more games with him

 

Zoe used to do that but grew out of it. She used to also change the rules of the game in her favor.

 

Hi: We had this issue with our DS for a while now, and he is just starting to grow out of it.

I read somewhere (maybe the Louise Bates Ames book about 6 year olds?), being a bad sport is sort of the "hallmark" of a 6-7 year old -- its just really hard for them to accept "losing." But... the book said that kids to grow out of it (just like other stages.)

This made me feel better and its consistent with what we are seeing. We still play games. Sometimes DS loses (sometimes he wins). Sometimes he loses graciously (and we praise him) and sometimes he loses it when he loses (and we just matter of factly say "Oh well, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose!" If he comes in second (like in Sorry, where we play until the last person has all their little men home), we sometimes say "but you were the 1st to be 2nd!"

Much peace,

M.

 

I hate playing games with my twin boys. They are miserable. I feel your pain.

 

Thanks for all the advice ladies. I'm going to attempt games again this week. I'm going to talk to DS first. We'll see how it goes.

 

Hello. Personally I prefer to play more active games!

 

I too go with @JessyN.
Involving in active games can improve both mental and physical health of children.