Reality of them falling asleep on their own?

Ok, so I nursed my twins to sleep until it didn't work anymore. I realize that wasn't the best thing to do, they need to figure out how to go to sleep on their own, but how? Do you use a pacifier (IMO same as nursing to sleep)? How do you teach them to fall asleep on their own? Is it a process? Please help!

 

Honestly, I just put them in bed and they went to sleep within a few minutes. No special training needed. I made sure they had full tummies and I would let them fuss for a few minutes until the were asleep. When I say fuss, I do not mean cry.

Good Luck!

 

Jackie - I have to say that I love that you need help...you are the queenmama in my mind so it is nice to see that even the experts have sleep issues!

I assume you mean for your new little man? Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child is the best IMO. We followed it like the bible and while it took we had one that followed his "colic" baby timelines it worked like a charm for both. For sure a process. We did give a "teddy" once they were able to move around on their own. I catch them often using them to comfort themselves.

For us so far it is all about an exact routine for naps and night time. Panfully the same every time. The key also was making sure they are not overtired when you put them down to fall asleep on their own. We fell into our routine by accident one day when I stuck DD in her crib as a last resort to help DS. She cried for like 5 minutes and by the time I got back to her she was asleep. It was an "ah-ha" moment for us that I could see HSHHC working.

Good luck, I really am a big believer in sleep training. My mom let me get up and play in the middle of the night if I wanted to and never really made me sleep. I am a HORRIBLE sleeper to this day. Good sleep habits are such an amazing gift to give a child that isn't born with them!

jen

 

When it is time for a nap or bed the first thing I do is put my baby in a certain blanket (used to be a miracle blanket, now it's a sleep sack) - they start to associate being put in a blanket with sleep. Then, I soothe my babies until they are good and drowsy, but not asleep. Once I know without a doubt that they are tired, I place the baby in her crib - I have the white noise machine going - and after I place her in the crib I put her arm around her teddy bear. Each baby has 1 teddy bear in her crib that she cuddles to sleep. If they start to cry (not just fussing) I will go in and rub her belly (or back if she's rolled over) until she calms down, but I try not to pick her up. They are pretty good at putting themselves to sleep now, most of the time I don't have to go in at all, sometimes I have to go once.

 

QUOTE(greenthumbmama @ May 27 2008, 07:19 PM) [snapback]796079[/snapback]
Jackie - I have to say that I love that you need help...you are the queenmama in my mind so it is nice to see that even the experts have sleep issues!

:blush: Thank you so much for the compliment! You are so sweet! Sleeping has never been a strong point in this house! You should check out my posts in the 1-4 forum! :help: :winking0009:

 

QUOTE(greenthumbmama @ May 27 2008, 08:19 PM) [snapback]796079[/snapback]
Jackie - I have to say that I love that you need help...you are the queenmama in my mind so it is nice to see that even the experts have sleep issues!


She rocks, doesn't she?! :Clap:

Jackie, my non-paci babies(the girls!), loved to just stare at the mobile and drift off....sometimes peacefully, sometimes with a little fuss.

 

QUOTE(Tammy Fine @ May 27 2008, 07:12 PM) [snapback]796060[/snapback]
Honestly, I just put them in bed and they went to sleep within a few minutes. No special training needed. I made sure they had full tummies and I would let them fuss for a few minutes until the were asleep. When I say fuss, I do not mean cry.

Good Luck!

exactly what we did/do. Jack usually needs his 'binkie' to calm down but Ryan doesn't. We also turn on Ryans mobile and that calms him down and sometimes Jack likes us to rub his head.

 

To actually fall asleep??? I did CIO for naps at 4mo and 5mo (it worked for Maia at 4mo but Sofie wasnt ready so I tried again a few wks later), it took like 2-3 days for them to figure it out.

I was fortunate that I didnt really have any day/night confusion, they usually went right back to sleep after eating in the middle of the night or would fall asleep nursing.

I still do always give the girls a chance to nurse to sleep but if they dont fall asleep nursing then they're on their own, some times they'll go right to sleep, other times they'll play for a bit, and other times they'll fuss for a bit.

FWIW, I never used pacifiers. Sofie is a thumb sucker though and plays with her hair with her non-sucking hand, and Maia pulls her arms up over her face while twiddling her sleeve or rubs it on her face. So they do self-soothe, they found other ways.


And I agree, I have you up on this mommy pedastal, I almost fell over when I read your posts!

 

I just let them CIO to fall asleep. It didnt take too long.

 

I'll ditto several of the points that PP's have made:
- I nurse until they are almost asleep, and then lay them down so they can fall completely asleep
- swaddling - we still love our miracle blankets at 4.5 months!!
- I allow a few minutes of fussing, but not crying. If they cry, I pick them up and walk and "shush" them until they get calm and drowsy, and then lay them back down. (I rarely have to do this - if they cry, it's usually because they are overtired, or they have upset tummies - gassy or need to poop)
- If they are overtired, going to sleep is simply a disaster - so I watch for their early sleep cues, and put them down ASAP
- I use the 15-minute mobile and the one-hour white noise machine for naps
- we give baths every day before bedtime
- same bedtime each night, within a half-hour

As long as I follow these 'rules,' I get 3 naps per day from my guys, and a solid 6 hour stretch (at least) at the start of the night (I am nursing, so I don't expect complete STTN yet)

 

I believe in consistency, so try and do the same things always before naps/bedtime (swaddle, paci, white noise, shhhing, etc.) I worked very hard to find ways to soothe mine not involving holding (mainly due to the twins factor!) and I think that helped them learn to self soothe, so we used swings, bouncy, jiggling the pack-n-play, etc, but no rocking or holding to sleep.
But at that age, I would never let mine cry, maybe fuss a little.....I think around 4 months you can start to let them cry/fuss a little more.

 

Hi Jackie,

A few tips from a fellow sleep strugglin' momma...

1. I respectfully disagree that paci's are the same as nursing to sleep, but if you want absolutely no props then paci's are out. However, if you are open to them - they do help with the transition. Babies at that age can't self soothe and paci's are an easy way to help them soothe themselves because they are so very comforted by the sucking yet they aren't getting the whole momma and boob and milk. In my opinion, paci's are an easy way to comfort a little one. I didn't always think this way until they saved my bacon at about 2 months. As of now, they don't really have any interest in them so they served their purpose for a few months (the survival months)

2. Our ped suggested giving the babies "happy crib time" several times a day. So, when they were clean, fed, warm, dry and happily awake we were to put them in their crib (or co-sleeper or whatever they sleep in) and let them be for 10-15 alone so they would associate that place with being happy and comfortable instead of always with screaming and being alone. I'm not sure how much it helped but something to try anyway.

3. At 4 months or so you can let them cry for naps. I think it's too early to do now.

4. I used to time a shower around the time I laid them down so I couldn't hear them and I would let them cry for 10 minutes...more often than not they'd settle themselves.

Lastly, I know you don't want to nurse to sleep, but until about 6 months it's really okay to do without forming any permanent habits (according to HSHHC) you just want to be careful not to let it go on too long and be sure to have a few times of letting the little man fall asleep without the nursing.

 

My babies don't really have an option. Only when they were a few weeks old did they ever fall asleep in my arms. when they were around a month that stopped. But in the past month they have fallen asleep every night by themselves in their crib.

The babies have this tiny love mobile that is the most amazing thing ever. I put them in their crib turn it on, turn off all the lights shut the door and they are asleep before it's over.
I have never given my babies paci's except again when they were really little to soothe them. But they haven't had one since they were about a month old. So I'm no help there.

 

Thanks for all the tips! My baby is just 5 weeks old so CIO is definitely out. My twins had to be swaddled day & night to be happy but Evan seems to be able to sleep without it. I have 'full-swaddled' on occasion. Thanks again! I did do the putting down awake last night, and if you got past the 45 minutes of grunting and noises, it was a success! We'll continue to work on it though! Thanks.

 

For us its all about routine. They know what is coming next and are prepared. I change diapers and lay them down in their cribs. Ana has her lovey (nasty bandana), Meara has her's (little teddy bear). I turn on the turtle (music), and I tell them its time to sleep. Sometimes they fuss a bit, sometimes they stand up (and I lay them back down), sometimes they look at me like "THANK GOD! We are so tired!" We'll see how this wonderful routine goes once I'm brave enough to take away the bedtime bottle... GL!

 

I agree with Leighann, it's all about the routine.

For us the nighttime stuff consists of:
bottle
pajama change around
(they get baths every 3 days or so, not too frequently)
play for 30 minutes
put in cribs when one rubs their eyes
turn music on
turn out lights
shut door

Within 10 minutes of being put in the bed they're both out like a light and sleep for 11-12 hours.

And the best thing is, we're not on such a schedule that I can't push it back by an hour or two when needed. And if they're overly tired, we take out the extra play time. But basically, bottle, pjs, play, bed with music.

 

I think I'm just lucky. My girls are great at falling asleep on their own (knock on wood). I sometimes wonder if it has anything to do with being in the NICU for 8 weeks (that wasn't lucky, but may be one of the few benefits of being there). Anyway, we put them down awake. Sometimes they want a paci, sometimes they don't. Occassionally we have 1-2 minutes of fussing, but most nights they just quietly go to sleep. I wish I knew what caused them to be so good at going to sleep. I could make a million bucks selling the secret.

 

We have those little music boxes that hang on the crib- the fisher price ones. We put the girls down when they are sleepy, and they watch it until asleep- they fuss a bit at times, but not for very long.

 

I didn't do anything special, they learned themselves very quickly. I would just give them an opportunity, and sometimes they would cry a few minutes (even at young age), but I can't handle 3 kids at the same time anyway, so it was unavoidable. Weissbluth advised me to start ASAP since it's learned behaviour and because the Method B from his book isn't feasible with twins (I never rocked my first to sleep either). They were able to fall asleep themselves between 4-8 weeks of age.

 

QUOTE(3greysandamutt @ May 27 2008, 11:32 PM) [snapback]796529[/snapback]
I'll ditto several of the points that PP's have made:
- I nurse until they are almost asleep, and then lay them down so they can fall completely asleep
- swaddling - we still love our miracle blankets at 4.5 months!!
- I allow a few minutes of fussing, but not crying. If they cry, I pick them up and walk and "shush" them until they get calm and drowsy, and then lay them back down. (I rarely have to do this - if they cry, it's usually because they are overtired, or they have upset tummies - gassy or need to poop)
- If they are overtired, going to sleep is simply a disaster - so I watch for their early sleep cues, and put them down ASAP
- I use the 15-minute mobile and the one-hour white noise machine for naps
- we give baths every day before bedtime
- same bedtime each night, within a half-hour

As long as I follow these 'rules,' I get 3 naps per day from my guys, and a solid 6 hour stretch (at least) at the start of the night (I am nursing, so I don't expect complete STTN yet)


I love yor tips. Thanks! What time do they go to bed?

 

I think we all quickly forget those early weeks well months. It really seems no matter what you do they cry. So just do what you can do get through this time. We tried not to do anything we couldn't "always" do. So I never rocked them for hours, never did the car thing, we rarely took them to bed with us unless it was later when I nursed in bed in the early AM. I did hold them especially at certain times during the day to get them into a nap schedule. Then I put them into the cot. I found I would do less and less each time. so rub their backs or pat their bums. Oopps yes I did say backs. I admit my babies do sleep on their tummies. Strangely only my one girl and only during naps. It just seemed she had a hard time shutting out the world.

Also try not to beat yourself up about it. You can only hold them for so long... mine are 6 months and already want to play with their toys. They won't be 30 years old and still wanting you to rock them to sleep. Enjoy this wonderful time and remember it is a mess those first months.

heather

 

WEll, I have to say that I've been pretty successful at putting him down awake and him falling asleep! That is awesome! I hope the trend continues!