ready to quit

my b/g twins are 10 days old, and I am almost ready to throw in the towel. I am in tears a lot of the time. I am trying tandem, but find it hard to keep them both latched on at once, once I get one, the other one falls asleep or becomes unlatched. Due to low milk production, I have to give them formula as well, so my routine is - feed babies for about 30-45minutes (relatching them each about 8-10 times), then bottle feed about 60-90mil depending on how much they want, then I pump (by the time this is done, I have about 30min, and I have to start the routine all over again). I am taking prescrption med to increase my supply (been taking it only about 2 days- not seeing much improvement).

I have a few questions -
When I pump after breastfeeding, I am only getting about 5-10mil/breast - this seems quite low - does this mean I am not producing much milk?

when does it get easier? when do the babies start to feed more quickly?

Another question - when tandem feeding - how the heck do you burp them when they are done? Do you simply set one twin aside and wait until the other one is done bbreastfeeding and then burp both. Does it hurt that baby to sit there having to burp for like 10min while the other one finishes eating?


Any tips/support would be much appreciated, as I really am considering going full-time on formula.

BTW - my dh is around and is very helpful, but we are prsesently both the walking dead, from getting only about 3hrs of sleep a night.

help!

 

QUOTE(isis @ Feb 10 2008, 01:23 PM) [snapback]615213[/snapback]
my b/g twins are 10 days old, and I am almost ready to throw in the towel. I am in tears a lot of the time. I am trying tandem, but find it hard to keep them both latched on at once, once I get one, the other one falls asleep or becomes unlatched. Due to low milk production, I have to give them formula as well, so my routine is - feed babies for about 30-45minutes (relatching them each about 8-10 times), then bottle feed about 60-90mil depending on how much they want, then I pump (by the time this is done, I have about 30min, and I have to start the routine all over again). I am taking prescrption med to increase my supply (been taking it only about 2 days- not seeing much improvement).

First, Congrats! Second I don't know anything about supplementing but am sure someone on here can help!

I have a few questions -
When I pump after breastfeeding, I am only getting about 5-10mil/breast - this seems quite low - does this mean I am not producing much milk? though I don't know what that equates to in ounces, the fact that you are pumping and still getting milk right after feeding seems to me to be a good sign.

when does it get easier? I found everyday got a little easier for us until I finally felt good about it. It took my girls some time in the beginning to latch and stay latched but finally we got it down! when do the babies start to feed more quickly? I think it varies from baby to baby. I can't remember when but know that mine have been nursing for about 10 minutes or less at each feeding for a few months now

Another question - when tandem feeding - how the heck do you burp them when they are done? Do you simply set one twin aside and wait until the other one is done bbreastfeeding and then burp both. Does it hurt that baby to sit there having to burp for like 10min while the other one finishes eating? I would often put one over my shoulder and pat her back while the other one was still nursing OR I would just let them sleep or whatever they wanted to do. I was never a big burper!! So, no it won't hurt them!
Any tips/support would be much appreciated, as I really am considering going full-time on formula.

BTW - my dh is around and is very helpful, but we are prsesently both the walking dead, from getting only about 3hrs of sleep a night.

help!

 

:hug99: I remember those difficult first months! Let me get you some answers.
At 10 day old, the amount you are pumping AFTER you breastfeed is VERY normal. Many women don't pump well. That seems like a pretty average amount for after you breastfeed! Don't judge the amount of milk you have by how much you pump. Babies can get milk out of you by nursing much more efficiently than a pump can.
It does get easier! I have to say about 6 - 8 weeks was when they became more efficient. It is great that your dh is there to help. At night, my dh would only get up if both the kids got up. He would change their diaper (wake them up) and I would sit there and nurse them and put them down. I know it is very difficult where you are right now... but it does get easier, and very rewarding!
Burping. When one would end, or de-latch, you can turn the baby on his/her side and rub back or pat gently. If you can put the baby (takes practice) on your shoulder to burp. When dh was around, he'd burp for me because I do know that challenge! I had one who would spit some up and one who was a hard burper!
You are VERY blessed to have a helpful dh! A good support system is a must! If you have any more questions, please keep asking! :hug99: You are in a very hard time with breastfeeding, but it will get easier! One day you are going to turn a corner and realize how worthwhile it is! Hang in there!

 

10 days old is a really, really hard time in breastfeeding. I look back at my logs and don't really know how I did it - I was basically feeding all day and night long. I remember crying A LOT (and I"m not a cryer) - I think that has more to do with hormones than anything. My DH still laughs (nicely, not mean) at the time he came into the bedroom at 4 am and I'm sitting crying saying "she won't eat. I've been trying for two hours to get Maya to eat and she won't eat" It's just a hard time. I had two other friends who also had babies about the same age and we would all get on the phone and cry together.

As far as the supplementing, I'm sorry, but I can't help there. I know there are women on this board who did supplement and either kept with that or moved to exclusive bf.

What we did that worked at first - the first week or so, my DH and I slept in shifts - he would be up with the babies and I would sleep until their next feeding (he would do all burping/changing/settling in that time frame - so your DH could give the bottles, etc - anything after they come off the breast. After a week or so, we actually tried to sleep at the same time and my DH would do everything that needed to be done other than the actual breastfeeding - I would put one on (or both if they were both awake), then pass her off to him - he would diaper, burp, reswaddle while I was feeding the second, then he would do the same with her (and I would go back to sleep).

As far as burping, if my DH was home, he would take one - if not, I would keep the boppy next to us, take the one who was done off the EZ2Nurse pillow and put her over to the boppy until the second was done. We didn't have reflex issues or anything, so it was fine.

Lastly, it got better after about 6 weeks, then really better at about 5 months - now I can tandem bf in about 5 minutes and at night, they eat and go back to sleep within about 10-15 minutes total for both.

Anyway, you are at a hard time - you can do this! It will get easier!

:hug99:

Erica.

 

QUOTE
my b/g twins are 10 days old, and I am almost ready to throw in the towel. I am in tears a lot of the time. I am trying tandem, but find it hard to keep them both latched on at once, once I get one, the other one falls asleep or becomes unlatched. Due to low milk production, I have to give them formula as well, so my routine is - feed babies for about 30-45minutes (relatching them each about 8-10 times), then bottle feed about 60-90mil depending on how much they want, then I pump (by the time this is done, I have about 30min, and I have to start the routine all over again). I am taking prescrption med to increase my supply (been taking it only about 2 days- not seeing much improvement).


Not sure if this is "normal" but this is very similar to my experience. Are you sure your supply is low? Mine did similar times/amounts, we regained birth weight at 2 weeks and were given the all clear for on demand nursing only. Their growth slowed without the suppliment for a couple weeks but then picked back up.


QUOTE
When I pump after breastfeeding, I am only getting about 5-10mil/breast - this seems quite low - does this mean I am not producing much milk?


It took me a really long time to see more. I still am lucky to get 1-2 once after a feeding and 3-4 if I skip. IT DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE NOT MAKING MILK. I literally spent 3 months worried about this. I really wish I could have listened to the ladies here and relaxed. Try hot pads and massage during and/or before pumping. A pic of your twins or looking literally at them will help too. Stay relaxed and think "my milk is coming out, my milk is coming out" - I think pumping is as much mental as physical.

QUOTE
when does it get easier? when do the babies start to feed more quickly?


6 weeks is what most of the women I heard from told me. They were right 6 weeks things were better & 8 or 10 they got really great (other than mine are bad sleepers so I hate nights).

QUOTE
Another question - when tandem feeding - how the heck do you burp them when they are done? Do you simply set one twin aside and wait until the other one is done bbreastfeeding and then burp both. Does it hurt that baby to sit there having to burp for like 10min while the other one finishes eating?


Not much help here since I still only tandem if DH is home and still have them popping on and off. Tandem just doesn't work for everyone and it is harder when you have to do the latching for them.


QUOTE
Any tips/support would be much appreciated, as I really am considering going full-time on formula.


I wrote on this forum the same thing around the same time. Women told me to do what is best for my family but that BFing would get easier and be easier than bottles. I didn't believe them. But, I didn't give up. Now I AM SO GLAD I didn't. It really does get easier and is much easier than bottles at somewhere between 2 and 3 months for me (mine were one month early). Now I can't imagine missing out on BFing now if I had quit. You're in the thick of the horrible time in my point of view. I remember thinking "who are those people that have these beautiful photos of BFing?". Now life looks like those photos for us. My advice, decide right now if you want to do it or not. You will need to have resolve to make it to 6 weeks. If you do, know that you will want to quit sometimes and use a bottle of formula or EBM from time to time to help with that.

My DH was/is a godsend. Take advantage of him. Have him do much of the work for you. At night have him go get the babies and change (if needed) and bring them to you. Try to sleep as much as you can. We decided early on that if I was going to BF and make enough milk my sleep was literally more important than his. It made a difference to agree on that so I didn't feel guilty having him up with them while they were fussy and me sleep.

Do you have help? My mom came and would run errands and do chores. Another women on this site wrote me once that if you are thinking about quitting and doing formula that must mean you can afford formula. If you haven't run the numbers it is a TON of $$. Rather than spend the $$ on formula hire help, cleaners, nannies, whatever you need that will help you BF if that is what you really want to do.

My heart goes out to you. I hope that you find a balance that works for you. All I can tell you is that I am SO glad I didn't quit.

PM me if you need a cheer up or just to vent. I must have talked to 20 different docs/LC/etc because I was convinced I wasn't making enough. Here we are with perfect weight gain and ready to start cereal! When were your babies born?

 

I think we all felt pretty emotional in the days after the birth -- hormones I guess! The amount you are pumping after feeding them is pretty normal -- in fact you are doing really well being able to pump anything out at all after feeding two babies. Don't worry about how much you're pumping out, the reason you are pumping is to increase milk supply and the stimulation from the pump is what is needed. The actual output doesn't matter for now. In a week or so your body will get the message and you will be able to pump more.

BTW -- how did they establish that you had "low supply"? Babies this age will almost always eat more if offered a bottle. It doesn't mean they didn't eat enough at the breast. Unless they are low birth weight or some other special reason, I would really question the supplementation as it isn't doing your supply any favors.

Re: tandem feeding -- I could not tandem feed when they were this young. I found it easier to feed one at a time so I could help them stay latched and awake. My routine was, 45 minutes for first twin, 45 minutes for 2nd twin, 30 minutes to pump/clean pump parts/etc., then 1 hour to eat/sleep/shower/whatever before starting all over again. I felt like the walking dead -- but I tried to think of it as an investment in the future. By putting in the time now, when they get older it will be a lot easier if you are BFing instead of doing bottles.

 

I am so tired, and feeling like I am at the end of my rope. We are thinking about either going all with supplement or all with breastmilk - but worried that their weights might drop down again..

We started our babies our supplement at about day 4 because they had lost over 13% of their body weight. over the last 7 days their weights are increasing and they are doing great.

We find that after we feed our babies at the breast (they often fall asleep - any ideas on how to keep them awake?), 15min later they are still routing and sucking - does this mean they didn't get enough to eat?

 

:hug99: I'm so sorry you're having a hard time! BFing is really, really hard in the beginning. Just HAVING twins is really hard in the beginning!

What makes you think your milk supply is/was low? Here are a number of things that don't mean you have a low milk supply. The only things that should make you concerned about supply are 1) not enough wet/poopy diapers and 2) not enough weight gain.

The best way to bring up your supply is to nurse, nurse, nurse. I'd skip the supplemental bottles (unless they are absolutely necessary, according to your pedi AND a LC) - all they're doing is telling your body NOT to make more milk. If the babies are hungry, bring them back to the breast. They'll get way more than the pump. Yes, you'll spend a lot of time with babies on the breast - but it's still way easier than nursing, giving bottles, pumping, washing bottles, washing pump equipment, etc.

Don't worry how much you pump after nursing - like a pp said, if you're getting ANYTHING after nursing, that's a great indication! Also, pumping generally tells you NOTHING about your supply. All it tells you is how much you can pump. The pump doesn't come close to getting everything, and some women are more "pumpable" than others - there are moms who EBF twins and can hardly pump a drop.

Tandem feeding is a good goal, but try not to sweat it too much if it doesn't work out just yet. It is really awkward in the beginning. But with time and practice, it will be as easy as breathing.

Like pps said, you are really in the trenches right now! But if you can just tough this out, life will be SO much easier in the long run. BFing takes a huge initial investment of time and energy, and then life gets SO much easier. The babies get quicker at nursing (at 6 wks for some, 8 or 10 or 12 for others), and once they've really got it down, they can get a full feeding in 5-10 minutes. And there's nothing to buy, measure, mix, pour, heat up, wash up, sterilize... Your milk is always ready, always the right temperature, perfectly portable - just open your bra and you're all set! Someone on here said she's too lazy to bottle-feed - once you turn the corner, it is SO true.

Ditto Jennie - get ALL the help you possibly can. Let everyone else take care of everything else so that you can just nurse. Use the thousands of dollars that formula would cost and hire any help that would make a difference for you (help with the babies, or just help keeping the house clean and food in the fridge).

Big big hugs to you. :hug99: I know you probably feel like you've been run over several times at a monster truck rally, but if you can just stick it out, it will get SO much easier! You can totally do this! Your body grew two amazing babies, it knows how to feed them. Hang in there, and come here for hugs & support anytime!

 

Hi again - oops, cross posted with you.

QUOTE
We started our babies our supplement at about day 4 because they had lost over 13% of their body weight. over the last 7 days their weights are increasing and they are doing great.

We find that after we feed our babies at the breast (they often fall asleep - any ideas on how to keep them awake?), 15min later they are still routing and sucking - does this mean they didn't get enough to eat?


I've heard stories on here before about women being able to ditch the supplements VERY soon after getting past that initial hump. If I were you, I'd arrange for frequent (maybe weekly) weight checks with the pedi and just stop supplementing. That is the very best possible way to bring your milk supply up. Also, make sure you're eating well and drinking water whenever you're thirsty.

My babies were VERY sleepy nursers in the beginning. I had to get "mean" with them to keep them awake to eat enough. Here are some of my tried and true baby torture techniques:

-remove layers of clothing, even down to just a diaper (they'll stay warm enough from the body contact with you, but the cool air will help keep them awake)
-pick the lint out from between fingers and toes
-play with their ears
-blow on their faces
-comb out cradle cap
-tickle cheeks & under their chin
-jostle them a little bit, just enough to startle them awake
-cold wet washcloth to the face/neck/back

I also found that sometimes my babies would root like crazy after a feeding. Whenever that happened, I'd offer the breast again. If they were hungry, they'd take it. If not, well, they were just being weirdos. Babies love to suck - if they're rooting but won't nurse, they might just want a paci or a finger.

Good luck! You can do it! :clapping:

 

I just posted my own update. . . . it does get easier!!! My babies are finally starting to "get it" (going on 4 weeks old) and we're about done supplementing my daughter after nursing. It was like it clicked for her overnight. You are right- it can be very exhausting at first. I was sitting here with one of the babies the other night and I looked down and couldn't remember if he had just been fed or if I had just picked him up to feed him. It's so much easier and quicker to do the feedings once the supplements are gone and the breastpumpings every 3 hrs are only lovely memories. I've only just started to ditch most of my after feed-pumpings and I feel like a new woman! As far as tandem- I've done it a couple times, but my kiddos and I just aren't quite ready for it yet. For right now, It's easier and quicker for us to do them separately. It will be really nice to eventually do it tandem every time though! Hang in there. I'm in total understanding of what you are going through and it will be so much easier for you very soon!

 

When I was where you are now, I believed I would never make it to six weeks, let alone 6 months which was my pre-delivery goal. And I wouldn't have without support from a Lactation Consultant, a pediatrician who supported breastfeeding, a little faith in myself and A LOT of sheer stubbornness.

Jack also lost about 14% of his body weight in the first several days, so I pumped after every feeding and fed him what I could pump by bottle after the next feeding - so nurse, bottle, pump, rest for 10 minutes, repeat around the clock, except for one bottle of formula from Grandma or Dad while I slept at night. What a nightmare. Why didn't anyone tell me it was going to be like that?? (Because I would have quit before I started, that's why.)

You can totally do this. Take it easy on yourself, find little ways to take care of yourself and feel good (my favorites were a bath BY MYSELF WITH NOBODY TOUCHING ME or a big dessert). Know that formula will always be there, but if you want to breastfeed this is the time to build your supply and really give it your all. And do come back to vent or update us or ask any questions that pop into your head. We have, every one of us, been where you are and we are sending you good vibes and pats on the back and big :hug99:

 

Our Babies were born Jan 31, by csection (after 19hrs of trying vag birth), and my blood pressure dropped, oxygen levels dropped, and they thought I had a large cyst on my uterus. It was a difficult experience and in the end I barely remember the actual birth. I was in the hospital for 5 days recovering. I do have someone to clean my house, so that helps, and I am seriously considering finding someone to help out at night (rather then spend money on formula.

You guys have motivated me (thro tears) to keep trying this bf thing.

THank-you to all of you for your support and help. My hubbie and I have decided to try and just bf, as I was getting overwhelmed with bottles, pumps, formulas and bf - there was no time for sleep and I think I was getting very sleep deprived. We have been letting them sit at the breast each feeding for about 45min (no more pumping, and only a small suplment if we get desperate). A challenge is definintely keeping them awake, have done everything but the cold cloth technique, but am willing to try this if need be.

We have done this now for about 4-5 feeds and only needed to supplement with formula once or twice and only a small amount, which is a step in the right direction. We are also using a pacifier for my ds, as he loves to suck, and I think what we thought was routing after a feeding, was really just a need for comfort. We had a much better night last night - we actually got about 5hrs of sleep ( in 1.5hr increments), but that is more then I have gotten since their birth!

I have also called my mom, and she will be coming down for a weeks to help out. I feel like looking after twins is a 3-person job right now! I feel like I am not giving them much attention, as I get frustrated and start to resent them a bit - is this normal?

thanks

 

Yay, I'm glad you're making some progress! Baby steps...

QUOTE
I feel like looking after twins is a 3-person job right now! I feel like I am not giving them much attention, as I get frustrated and start to resent them a bit - is this normal?


SO normal! When mine were tiny and my mom was helping us out, I remember saying almost the EXACT same thing you did - it takes 3 adults (at least!) to take care of newborn twins. That's great that your mom is coming to help.

The resentment is also normal. There's this romantic image in the media of just falling in love with your baby/babies at first sight, and living happily ever after, but the truth is that it is HARD to adjust to being a mom. Goodbye sleep, freedom, etc - somebody needs you ALL the time and won't take no for an answer.

Just another thing about the resentment, though - it's one of those things where it can be just normal adjustment to suddenly having two babies, or it could be a sign of PPD. It's normal for a new mother to be exhausted, overwhelmed, burned out, and a bit resentful, but beyond some very blurry line it can also be PPD. If you have any doubts about whether you might be depressed, it's worth talking to a doctor you trust and getting screened for it.

Try not to worry too much about how much attention you're giving the babies. I beat myself up about that a lot in the beginning when I had PPD, and everyone at the PPD clinic I went to kept telling me, "At this age, as long as they're changed, fed, and warm, that's all they need." I still felt awful about it then, but in retrospect they were so right. Newborns are just "out of it," and as long as you're meeting their basic needs, it really is enough. All you can do is your best.

I know it probably feels next to impossible right now, but try to take some breaks if you can and do something just for you. Even if it's just taking half an hour between nursing sessions to soak in the tub by candlelight, with your DH in charge of the babies (preferably as far away as possible so you don't have to listen to the fussing), or walking around the block with a friend, it is really good to recharge your batteries a bit. :hug99:

 

QUOTE(isis @ Feb 11 2008, 06:54 PM) [snapback]616458[/snapback]
I feel like looking after twins is a 3-person job right now! I feel like I am not giving them much attention, as I get frustrated and start to resent them a bit - is this normal?



YES!! Well, I hope it's normal, because I certainly felt that way sometimes. Still do on days when I'd really like to do X but naps aren't working or teething is making someone extra clingy. I'm slowly getting used to putting my old sense of self aside in favor of a new, more patient one. But babies have a way of making you feel totally incompetent, and I just hate that feeling.

It gets better soon, and it's amazing how much better it is when you have one more person around to look after YOU. I think the optimal number of caretakers for babies is N+1, where N = the number of babies.

Good luck with your new regime! It sounds a lot saner, but let us know as you go how it's working...whenever you have a free moment

 

I can help on burping... if you're using the EZ2nurse pillow, flip one and then the other onto their bellies and pat their back. In the hospital my dd was very sleepy so I undressed her to nurse her and wiped her feet with cold wet wipes. That kept her awake and nursing.

You're doing a fabulous job and when your in the middle of that first month it feels completely insane but it gets so much easier and rewarding!

 

I'm reading your post and I just want to hug you! I have SO been there. It's exhausting, infuriating, emotional, upsetting, and painful! You are not doing anything wrong. Hang in there! I swear I did not think I'd be sitting here BF'ing ten months later, and yet somehow I made it through. Don't give up! (though I might say give up tandem feeding for awhile--that was so hard for me in the beginning, and I did much better one-on-one for the first few months). Come back often and find support. You're awesome!

Reyna

 

Big Hugs :love0028: I really hated tandem BFing for the first several months. It was around 4/5 months that I started to tandem--it was too overwhelming at first. Although, when you BF one at a time, it feels like you are BFing more. I always did a football hold regardless if I tandem BF or not--logistically easier for me.

 

When my boys were around ten days, that was a hard time for me as well - I was nursing-pumping-bottlefeeding, and barely had any milk supply. I tried to steer clear of formula after they came home from the hospital (at 3 days old) but had to supplement with one or 2 formula bottles around the ten-day mark. I just couldn't produce enough milk for them! I kept pumping, though, and my supply started to increase. Now I produce more than enough for them.

My boys are still not 100% on the breast - they can be lazy, and often don't fill themselves up at the breast, and are rooting and crying for food less than 2 hours later (after a breastmilk bottle, they usually go 3+ hours without a problem). One of my boys has a good latch, and one still struggles with latching on. So, tandem-nursing can be a challenge even now! I get the good nurser attached and feeding, and then focus on getting the poor nurser attached while he screams and claws at me... sometimes, by the time I get the poor nurser attached and steadily nursing, the good nurser is done with his meal! It can be exhausting, but I feel like we are making baby-step progress.

 

When I pump after breastfeeding, I am only getting about 5-10mil/breast - this seems quite low - does this mean I am not producing much milk?

No, this does not mean that. Some women can't pump much out but the babies are getting plenty of milk. their suck is much more effective than a pump

when does it get easier? when do the babies start to feed more quickly?

I have just recently seen a difference and we are going on 8 weeks here. You are in the hard first few week period, it will get easier- I promise.

Another question - when tandem feeding - how the heck do you burp them when they are done? Do you simply set one twin aside and wait until the other one is done bbreastfeeding and then burp both. Does it hurt that baby to sit there having to burp for like 10min while the other one finishes eating?

I will either pick one up and put on my shoulder while the other still nurses. It's tricky (and almost impossible) at first but after a few weeks, they will stay latched on better if you have to move a bit. If they both finish up around the same time, I will set one in a boppy while I burp the other. I like to keep them propped up to prevent any spit up. We don't have any reflux problems, but I don't want to chance it.

 

:hug99:

I'm probably not the best person to give advice, since I've been supplementing since they both lost a ton of weight in the beginning.

But I've been told by many that exhaustion can decrease your milk supply. One thing that really helped my sanity (and my milk) in the first couple of weeks is having someone take a night shift--perhaps taking them to another room between feedings. We went through a hard time early on when my daughter was on a monitor because of an apnea incident, and my son was wanting to feed constantly because he was stressed out because of our stress. Someone took him for a night, giving him formula, while I nursed our daughter. And that was a huge turning point for me.

Once I got more sleep, my milk supply definitely increased. Or if you have someone who can come in during the day and let you take naps between feedings. Even just help a night a week for the first couple of weeks changed my whole perspective.

Hang in there, you will make it!

 

QUOTE(fuchsiagroan @ Feb 10 2008, 07:28 PM) [snapback]615476[/snapback]
:hug99: I'm so sorry you're having a hard time! BFing is really, really hard in the beginning. Just HAVING twins is really hard in the beginning!

What makes you think your milk supply is/was low? Here are a number of things that don't mean you have a low milk supply. The only things that should make you concerned about supply are 1) not enough wet/poopy diapers and 2) not enough weight gain.

The best way to bring up your supply is to nurse, nurse, nurse. I'd skip the supplemental bottles (unless they are absolutely necessary, according to your pedi AND a LC) - all they're doing is telling your body NOT to make more milk. If the babies are hungry, bring them back to the breast. They'll get way more than the pump. Yes, you'll spend a lot of time with babies on the breast - but it's still way easier than nursing, giving bottles, pumping, washing bottles, washing pump equipment, etc.

Don't worry how much you pump after nursing - like a pp said, if you're getting ANYTHING after nursing, that's a great indication! Also, pumping generally tells you NOTHING about your supply. All it tells you is how much you can pump. The pump doesn't come close to getting everything, and some women are more "pumpable" than others - there are moms who EBF twins and can hardly pump a drop.

Tandem feeding is a good goal, but try not to sweat it too much if it doesn't work out just yet. It is really awkward in the beginning. But with time and practice, it will be as easy as breathing.

Like pps said, you are really in the trenches right now! But if you can just tough this out, life will be SO much easier in the long run. BFing takes a huge initial investment of time and energy, and then life gets SO much easier. The babies get quicker at nursing (at 6 wks for some, 8 or 10 or 12 for others), and once they've really got it down, they can get a full feeding in 5-10 minutes. And there's nothing to buy, measure, mix, pour, heat up, wash up, sterilize... Your milk is always ready, always the right temperature, perfectly portable - just open your bra and you're all set! Someone on here said she's too lazy to bottle-feed - once you turn the corner, it is SO true.

Ditto Jennie - get ALL the help you possibly can. Let everyone else take care of everything else so that you can just nurse. Use the thousands of dollars that formula would cost and hire any help that would make a difference for you (help with the babies, or just help keeping the house clean and food in the fridge).

Big big hugs to you. :hug99: I know you probably feel like you've been run over several times at a monster truck rally, but if you can just stick it out, it will get SO much easier! You can totally do this! Your body grew two amazing babies, it knows how to feed them. Hang in there, and come here for hugs & support anytime!



After reading this, I have to ask the question. If you are EBF'ing, how can you ever get a break? I mean if you have no pumped milk, and you won't use formula, can you ever have a life outside of babies. I feel trapped I know that is awful, and I feel so bad to say that, but I feel I can't go and do anything.

 

QUOTE(chocomilko @ Feb 12 2008, 10:37 AM) [snapback]617901[/snapback]
After reading this, I have to ask the question. If you are EBF'ing, how can you ever get a break? I mean if you have no pumped milk, and you won't use formula, can you ever have a life outside of babies. I feel trapped I know that is awful, and I feel so bad to say that, but I feel I can't go and do anything.


Most women that say ebfing mean getting all breastmilk. That does not mean that their babies do not get any bottles. Also some women say ebfing and really mean a formula bottle every now and again (once a month or so) if they don't have enough breastmilk and need to be away from the babies.

If you feel this way I would start getting a freezer stash going (pump after the first am feed and after they go to bed, it may not be much but it will add up). And atleast for me, I HAD to pump when I missed a feeding or I would get uncomfortable, but that was still a "break" for me, as I could read, play on the internet, etc while pumping for 20 mins and have dh give them a bottle.
And depending on how you feel about formula you can give them the OCCASIONAL bottle of formula, not pump, and get a real break if you need to.


You are doing the best thing for your babies, WTG :clapping:

 

Thanks for all the advice and support. We have moved to mainly bf now (as of the last 24hrs), as my milk supply finally seems to be coming in. I just decided that between bf, pumping, and supplementing the twins - that left only about 20min between feedings for me to sleep. And, I am still trying to recover from both a try at a vag birth and a csection, of which I had complicaitons. I have an appt with the health nurse tomorrow morning to check the babies weights and to help with bf.

My dd feeds for about 45min - but out of that 45min only about 25 min is actual feeding, the other 20min is spent re-latching her, waking her up from falling asleep etc. Any tips on keeping babies latched? Is it possible that her mouth is just so small that she can't really latch proplery, as she seems to slip off easily.

I am glad to know that there is hope and that it does get easier as the weeks pass, but right now sitting at 12 days, thinking of how I am going to make it to 4-6wks seems like forever away. I find myself in tears most evenings and afternoons, although I am taking people's advice and starting to ask for help. I have some people coming over in the evening to watch the twins while my dh and I try and get 2-3hrs of sleep before the evening madness begins.

I honestly had no idea how tought this would be, I am not normally a person to cry, so this experience is totally foreign to me. I honestly thought that with my dh at home, between the two of us we could handle it - but I miss so much just cuddling with my dh without having to jump up every 5min to tend to a fussing baby.

Any thoughts on using soothers - we have started using one with my ds, because he really likes to suck. But I am worried to give it to him at night time, because I have heard that they can become dependant on it and then you have to spend all night getting up to plug it back in when it falls out.

 

QUOTE
If you are EBF'ing, how can you ever get a break? I mean if you have no pumped milk, and you won't use formula, can you ever have a life outside of babies. I feel trapped I know that is awful, and I feel so bad to say that, but I feel I can't go and do anything.


Have you thought about giving an occasional bottle of formula? Your sanity is priority #1. What your babies need most is a sane, happy mom, and to be sane and happy you need to have some breaks. Formula isn't poison, and nobody comes and gives you a medal like at the end of a Star Wars movie for EBF! Please don't take this the wrong way - I don't want to sound pushy, and if you really don't want to give any formula, I totally respect that! It's just that I've been in your shoes myself, kind of. When I had PPD, DD was home, DS was still in the NICU, I was nursing her and pumping for him (and to have EBM for bottles for her so I could get a little sleep), and it took maybe a WEEK of practically beating me over the head for the therapists at the clinic to convince me that I REALLY wasn't going to hurt my babies by giving some formula here and there to take the pressure off me.

Like Kristi said, you could also pump and get a stash going. You'd probably get the most pumping right after the first morning feeding - most women are fullest then.

If you are only comfortable with nursing, you can still get SOME breaks, even if they're not very long. If you have a sense of how long the babies can go between feedings, you can always get out and do something that fits in that time window (and have your cell phone on just in case), or just lie down and SLEEP while someone else takes care of them.

:hug99: I hope you can get some rest soon, whatever way works for you!

 

QUOTE(chocomilko @ Feb 12 2008, 09:37 AM) [snapback]617901[/snapback]
After reading this, I have to ask the question. If you are EBF'ing, how can you ever get a break? I mean if you have no pumped milk, and you won't use formula, can you ever have a life outside of babies. I feel trapped I know that is awful, and I feel so bad to say that, but I feel I can't go and do anything.


I have no pumped milk and won't use formula, but I go places without my babies. I felt trapped too in the beginning but at some point they start eating faster and you are done with a feed in 10 minutes instead of 45. Then I am free to go do whatever, without them, for the next 3 hours.

Now my twins are 9 months old and eating solids so I can leave for even longer. I don't leave them a lot though, I actually miss them and OK the real reason, I don't have anyone to babysit.