? re: one child uses paci, other sucks finger

We're not there yet but eventually the dreaded weaning of the paci time will come. My one concern is that while Lorien is a paci sucker, Arwen is a finger sucker. I just would feel so bad taking Lorien's soothing mechanism away from her while her sister Arwen is still able to sooth herself with her finger. I know I'm lucky only ONE of them sucks the finger cause from what I hear, it is easier to break paci than finger habit. Do we try to do them at the same time? Or do we work on weaning Arwen, AFTER we have gotten Lorien completely off the paci? If anyone has been in this situation, how did you do it or what did your ped recommend? TIA

 

This probably isn't the popular answer, nor is it probably what you're looking for, but I allowed my kids to self-wean with some exceptions.

I did nothing until 18 months when I began to restrict paci use to naps and bedtime only. The only exception was a long car ride when we traveled to my family's house (3 hrs away).

When they were 2.5 years old Jackson woke up one morning and told me his paci was yuk! I said, "yes, it is yuk because it's in your mouth all night getting germs on it". He then told me he was going to throw it away. I told him that was fine, but the trash man would take it away and that was the end - no more - and I would not buy him anymore. He gathered all 3 of the ones he slept with and threw them in the trash. I made sure he understood it was HIS decision and not mine. Jaydon quickly followed his brother's decision and put his in the trash too. The 1st 2 nights he asked where they were and I reminded him that the trash man took them and he said okay and went to sleep with no issues.

Here's my personal opinion. By allowing my kids to self-wean there was no fight and no issues. Because I restricted them to naps/night time beginning at 18 months I had zero concerns that their speech was being negatively impacted. I knew my kids would need braces anyway, so I had zero concerns that using a paci would cause their teeth to be more crooked than heredity would take care of naturally.

I have no advice on the finger/thumb sucking. I went from paci at 3 to biting my fingernails, and still struggle with that as a 30-yr old adult!

ETA - While the finger sucking might be harder to break, I think it is unfair to "break" one without "breaking" the other.

 

I had the same situation, but my boys made it easy for me.
My Alex sucks him thumb (well his mommy still does it when she is under stress, or in pain... I am a bit embarrassed but it is the best soothing nechanism EVER!). He will be 4 soon and still does it. I think he just needs it. I don't think trying to force him to leave the thumb is an option, since it is the way he found to deal with certain things, like sadness and tiredness.
Ollie had a paci because he was the most terrible baby and I had no choice but give him one, if I didn't want him on my breast 24/7 (I am generally against them... well was before having children of my own ).
My husband disliked it and at about 2 and a half he told him to cut his last "binky" like a "big boy". I was OK with it becaue Ollie did blatantly not depend on the binky anymore to calm himself and soothe himself. Since he only used it when he saw it by chance, I knew it would be ok, if he didn't see it anymore he wouldn't want it either.
And that was exactly the way it was.
Alex will be allowed to suck his thumb as long as he wants, since he only does it indoors mainly, and is not completely dependent on it.
Millie

 

QUOTE(heathernd @ Jun 16 2007, 12:01 PM) [snapback]294843[/snapback]
This probably isn't the popular answer, nor is it probably what you're looking for, but I allowed my kids to self-wean with some exceptions.

I did nothing until 18 months when I began to restrict paci use to naps and bedtime only. The only exception was a long car ride when we traveled to my family's house (3 hrs away).

When they were 2.5 years old Jackson woke up one morning and told me his paci was yuk! I said, "yes, it is yuk because it's in your mouth all night getting germs on it". He then told me he was going to throw it away. I told him that was fine, but the trash man would take it away and that was the end - no more - and I would not buy him anymore. He gathered all 3 of the ones he slept with and threw them in the trash. I made sure he understood it was HIS decision and not mine. Jaydon quickly followed his brother's decision and put his in the trash too. The 1st 2 nights he asked where they were and I reminded him that the trash man took them and he said okay and went to sleep with no issues.

Here's my personal opinion. By allowing my kids to self-wean there was no fight and no issues. Because I restricted them to naps/night time beginning at 18 months I had zero concerns that their speech was being negatively impacted. I knew my kids would need braces anyway, so I had zero concerns that using a paci would cause their teeth to be more crooked than heredity would take care of naturally.

I have no advice on the finger/thumb sucking. I went from paci at 3 to biting my fingernails, and still struggle with that as a 30-yr old adult!

ETA - While the finger sucking might be harder to break, I think it is unfair to "break" one without "breaking" the other.


I agree with Heather on all of it... including the fingernail biting!

DD uses a paci and DS sucks his thumb. At about 9 months, I started taking the DD's paci away during the day. By 12 months, she would hand it to me before she got out of the crib in the morning and after naps. That still holds now at 26 months. DS sucks his thumb when he is tired, but obviously he has access to it all day.

They are great sleepers and our pedi has no problems with either habit (as long as it's not an all day thing... walking around the house with paci or thumb in). So, we are letting them self-wean.