RE: Going back to work, wrong to feel this way?

My babies just turned 1. I have to get back to work, we are having money issues. MIL is going to watch them. We are not happy with that or confident she can handle it but it is free and she keeps insisting she can handle it and wants to do it. I left my job when they were born - could not afford daycare for them and older child. I am dreading this, I love my time with them as insane as it has been and I do not want to leave them. I work in Accounting, just got new job offer. Is it wrong I do not want to work in a job that will be mentally challenging? My mind will be on my kids, not my work. I wanted to work p/t where I could be home more and work in a less demanding, less serious job, less mentally challenging, job. But that does not pay what we need. I am dreading the 8-5 business madness again. I will continue to look for something I'd even do 30 hrs maximum but as we all know nothing out there. I feel like my life has taken a new direction and I just want to be a Mom and that is where my mind and my heart is. But, I have no choice here, we are behind on bills and I need to work. How can I be at peace with this? My heart is here with my kids, and I dread going back to work.

Thanks, Krissa

 

I think the answer to how you can be at peace with it is a personal one. However, I had to go back to work when the girls were 5 weeks old. If not we would have had no insurance and frankly we couldn't live without my income. I just had to tell myself that although I would miss them terribly and cried everyday before work that I was doing the best I could for them by working. I was able to provide for them and give them a home. :hug: I know it is hard, but :youcandoit:

 

:hug: to you. I'm sorry that you feel like you're being forced into going back to work. I work in an *extremely* mentally-challenging profession (IT) and there is adjustment period when you go back to work. I had to go back when my guys were 5 weeks old so for the first few months I was really not focusing very well, and was not doing my best work. That being said, the first year was so incredibly hard for me that it was almost a relief some days to go to work. I think if I had been staying home and went back to work when my guys turned 1 it would have been harder.

I think the way for you to be at peace about this is to let it go, and accept your situation. It's not your ideal life, but most of us don't live our ideal lives. If your MIL is watching your LOs for free, maybe you can work for a year saving up most of your salary, then reassess. Give yourself time to get used to working, and you may find you actually like it! I'm certainly not a workaholic like I used to be; my boys are my main focus in life now. But I do enjoy the mental stimulation, and find that I have more patience with them when I get a break from full-time parenting.

Good luck, and I hope you can come to terms with these changes in your life. :hug:

 

I'm sorry No it's not wrong to feel that way, but like pp said sometimes we have to accept that our situation isn't our "ideal" and go w it. I hope eventually you can find a 30hr a week job. I do home daycare and while it's great to be home w my kids I still don't feel like they get all the attention I'd like to give them. Hopefully you can maybe take your lunch break and do something for you! That may make it all worth while to have a bit of "me" time!

Good luck!

 

I still feel this way and I had to go back to work when they were 6 weeks old. I live for summers (I teach) so I can spend every moment with them and come this time of year as summer draws to a close, I get all sad again and depressed having to go back to work. I've been told it's normal.....hang in there!

 

Have you thought about the idea of job sharing? I know of alot of women who pitched the idea to their boss/company and so far both have been happy. Just an option that maybe you havent thought of.