(rant) DH home all the time for break..

So, we separated for him not helping me with ANY chores..at ALL, and with the kids, and also for his drinking. We got back together and he helped for a few months. He has been slacking for about two or three months now. He hasn't taken a sip of alcohol, but he spends most of his time with his friends in OUR living room playing guitar or video games, while they watch me wrangle babies, clean, and cook dinner. I'm getting fed up. He goes to school full time, and that's it. His family supports us. I cook dinner, and usually his buddies are here to eat and dirty my dishes as well!! Yay! I have talked to him calmly and rationally about this quite a few times. I also completely LOST it one night-the night before our apartment inspection-when I had two babies to feed, bathe, and get to bed before I could begin cleaning.. and he was sitting on the couch playing video games.
I'm at that point where I'm thinking about how much easier it would be if it were just me and the twins. I've done it once, the apartment stayed clean, and I was SO much happier, and therefore was a better and more attentive mom to the twins.

OHHH, did I mention that DH is upstairs waiting on me to sex him up? I have yet to see a pig fly. I'm staying downstairs until I do.

 

:hug: that sounds awful! I hope he smartens up and helps out, if not you're right it would be easier on your own! good luck!

 

To me it sounds immature and I am a guy. I would never let my wife do all of the work. I actually gave up my teaching guy to be a stay at home dad. I actually do all of the cooking, I help with the babies even when my wife comes home even though I have been with them all day. I say let me do the Video games but only when they nap or have him clean during that time. It sounds like he is also lacking any sign that he wants to be responsible for having kids. Tell him if wants to have sex he has to do somethings around the house make like a reward.

 

I have tried. Basically, he said that by doing that I'm making the problem worse. Ugh. He expects sex every day. I've been on a weeklong hiatus. I'm fed up.
I play video games as well, but I have to wait until the babies are in bed and the house is clean.

 

I saw this thread last night and was shocked at how immature and insensitive your DH was acting. I don't know what to tell you, other than I couldn't put up with it either girlfriend!! I would just try to have another rational talk with him (though how rational can one be when dealing with someone so immature?) and explain to him calmly that you WILL leave him again, and for good, IF he doesn't start pitching in more. Threats will only be threats for so long. It's not like you two are roommates living in a college dorm for goodness sake! As for the sex, I find it laughable that he can say YOU are making things worse, simply by not giving in to his desires. Marriage is give and take and I don't see him giving you anything but grief lately....so screw him! Metaphorically of course, LOL! :lol:

 

ugh! since rational doesn't seem to work with him, tell him you are too tired for sex after taking care of twins and cleaning up after everyone all day but maybe if you had a little help with parenting and chores, you'd feel refreshed enough to give it up.

OR stop doing EVERYTHING - just let the house completely go, with the exception of whatever your babies need of course, but just don't clean anything and see what he says.

 

:hug: