Questions on Behavior

Okay, I don't know if this is the best place to ask this and if it isn't then please direct me in the right direction. I don't have twins this age(mine are getting ready to turn 1 but I have a singleton this age)

Let me give you some background so you can see the whole picture. I have a total of 5 children. My oldest two sons are from my previous marriage and they are 11 and 9. I got remarried in 2006 and have 3 children with my current husband, they are 4 and my twins will be 1 in September. My 9 year old is the one I am having problems with. Ever since he was little he has been a whiner. He cries over the smallest things and is very dramatic. I have tried ignoring him and time out and everything else under the sun to stop this whining. It has only gotten worse though. If you barely touch him (like grab his arm to turn him around) he screams like he is dying or I have beat him. I don't know how to stop him from this. He cries over everything and if he gets hurt it is usually the end of the world. He is just so dramatic!! Lately he has gotten so that he back talks me and is very disrespectful. I just don't know what to do to handle this behavior. I want to put a stop to it so that he is happier and I am too. Just a side note - We were told at the end of the school year that they think he has ADD and he is going to be tested at the beginning of the school year. We do not think he has ADHD because he does not have any behavior problems at school - only at home. His mind just seems to wander very badly. I don't know if this could be linked to being dramatic and whining or not. Just a thought. Please give me your input! I really need it!!!

 

Actually, he may have ADD. ADD kids rarely get in trouble, because they don't act out, but they do zone out. Whininess is a sign of immaturity, and that is also a sign of ADD. The evaluation will not hurt him, and it may result in getting him the skills he needs to grow. One thing I would do is talk to the school counselor, they may have a group where he can learn and role play more appropriate behaviors. Also, whining gets your attention, and at this point, he doesn't seem to care if it is positive or negative (another sign of immaturity). Next time he whines about something, try walking away, and tell him that when he can ask you in a "normal" voice, you will respond to his issue. That way you are offering him an alternative way to get your attention, which is positive.

Good luck!

 

I totally agree my 9 y/o was just diagnosed with ADHD this summer. He has always made very good grades but the teachers complained that he would go off task often. I also noticed that he was very whiny and cried over silly stuff. He was also lashing out at his sisters yelling at them for something simple or even going as far as hitting or grabbing them. He also started the odd problem of pooping in his pants which was apparently his way of trying to get my attention. Now that he is seeing a doctor and getting medication (which is not a solution for everyone) he is doing so much better. We have had less arguing and no more accidents.

 

I could have written this post about my Matthew minus the ADD thing. He is the biggest WHINER!!!! It's ridiculous. I've been using 1-2-3 Magic with success. He knows that to get my attention it must be in a polite "big boy" voice. I'm still trying to fiugre out getting rid of the tattle taling though. He is the worst. All day long.