Question

How old do you think she is?

http://a212.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/image...998ab19ff9b.jpg

http://a797.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/image...0528887358c.jpg

 

15 or 16

 

Probably 15 or 16; however, I was often asked at 21 if I wanted the kids menu.

 

22 or 23??

 

I think she looks at least 18. Definitely not 15 - I teach 14/15 yr olds and she looks older.

 

I'm going to say 32.... Who is it and why do you ask??

 

17

 

Is that a picture of you?

 

I would think between 18 and 23 or so.

 

I would say 18 or 19.

 

I would guess around 20? ardon:


Why? I'm really curious now!!

 

... and the winner is ivfbound078. Well an over shot but close enough. 29 years old.

AND THE VENT BEGINS:

Yes I am aware I look young, I am who I am and that is just the way it is. I am an artist, musician, and graphic designer...I teach graphic design at a local college and my husband works for a major computer company. We never have to deal with any harassment or deal with any comments when we are downtown. It is the curse of the burbs that has really been getting to me as of late. I am having to endure the Juno effect. Ever since that movie came out (which I thought was one of the best movies I have seen in a long time) the comments made towards me has become even worse.

So here was my experience today. My husband and I went to celebrate Valentine's day by going to the movies. My DH says to me, "so how does it feel" and I was like, "what..." and he says "to be stared at by everyone". Ok I am preggo... all belly haha it is getting ridicules... so my walking speed is next to none and I swear it is like I am watching people watching a train reck in slow motion. Not only am I pregnant and huge but evidently that also impairs my hearing... so I guess while I am slowly walking at a snail-like pace passed these random people I am not supposed to hear these rude comments coming from them. I am walking down the hall of judgement, yet I say nothing, just look and smile and keep on going at my snail-like pace sucking it up and dealing with all the tactlessness. I can deal with, "wow you are about to pop" which I hear at least 20 times every time I am out and about... But when I hear comments like, "Damn kids these days", "I feel sorry for that child", or my favorite of today was a loud mouth 45ish woman stating, "Wow I must be entering my golden years because that is just plan ridiculous, she is ruining her life... there is a thing called abortion." I have had two miscarriages and to judge anyone no matter what age you perceive them to be and stating they should dispose of their pregnancy because it doesn't fit in her realm of what is acceptable is infuriating. The fury that surged through my body and the amount of control it took to continue that snail-like pace towards escape was ummm very much a struggle. Thank god my husband is deaf lol and didn't hear the end of that comment. I can deal with it... It is just lame ignorant people, if you don't fit the mold of what they deem acceptable then they feel they have the right to voice their ignorance to make them feel more at ease. But what if I was 15, 16, 20... young and pregnant dealing with one of the hardest decision and responsibilities in life... imagine how these negative comments would effect them. It is just pathetic. So even though I avoided conflict Valentines day was ruined and we just came home. People like that really suck!!!

 

:angry:

I CAN NOT believe someone said that!!!! I really don't know how you held your tongue and didn't go off on her!

But I'm sorry it ruined your night. And I'm sorry someone was that ignorant. :hug99:

 

I'm so sorry honey! :hug99: I can't believe someone said something like that. Talk about out of line. That woman has some real problems and it's sad that she feels the need to spread her negativity to everyone around her.

 

I'm sorry you are having a crappy day because some people are idiots. I am one of 7 children. My whole life I have heard, "Don't your parents know what causes that? or "You must be Catholic." Now that I have 4 children, I am hearing, "I hope you're done" and "Don't be dumb and try to catch up to your mom." My parents have been married 44 years and have never depended on anyone to raise us or pay for us except themselves. I had a miscarriage at 17, and my first child at 18. The same man (My DH) has fathered all of my children and I get VERY irritated also when others feel they need to voice their opinions about my age and my amount of children. Continue to hold your head and belly high and say, "I look good for 50, don't I?" just to shut them up!

 

This is the story of my life. I love the comment about the "Juno effect". I am 28 and I get it all the time. It drives me absolutely nuts. I have two older kids and people assume all the time that these are my first.
I have said, "I'm (insert age). Imagine how good I'll look when I am YOUR age."

I think it is the curse of the 'burbs. In my case, my husband is a grad student, when we are on campus or at functions no one looks at us weird. Most of them have kids and look young as well. Professors here at least seem to love kids. When I am out in the community, taking the girls to gymnastics, swimming lessons, ice skating lessons, people STARE. Well more like mothers stare and make rude comments. It'll be so nice when I have four kids.

I totally understand and feel you frustration. Just because I have four kids at 28 makes me no less of a parent because you had yours at 40. There are 16 year olds that do a better job at raising kids then some "older" parents. It takes a lot of guts not to take the easy way out when you are a teenager in that situation. Our job should be to encourage them and provide help not criticize.

Evie

 

If you are interested in seeing a picture of me ... web.mac.com/cordells

 

Ugh.... people are so miserably unhappy in their own lives they have to butt their noses into other people's and try to drag them down to make themselves feel better. Don't let them get to you or stress you out (I know, easier said then done cause I'd want to flatten them to). They are just not worth it.


I love this line....I have said, "I'm (insert age). Imagine how good I'll look when I am YOUR age." :rotflmbo:

 

Thanks for the support... I talked to my mom about it as well. She is over protective of her baby I try to keep my sense of humor and let it roll off... choose your battles kinda thing. Yesterday was just ridiculous though. I am going to go hang with her this weekend and escape the burbs.... we never should have moved here...

 

QUOTE(evieand4kids @ Feb 15 2008, 06:59 AM) [snapback]623071[/snapback]
This is the story of my life. I love the comment about the "Juno effect". I am 28 and I get it all the time. It drives me absolutely nuts.


I am not alone I could have zinged her but I think my look said enough... sometimes silence is louder than words. Some day people will learn FIMS (foot in mouth syndrome) and tactlessness only makes them appear ignorant and trashy. Really how much do I value their opinion?? Come on... It is just sad that they feel compelled to voice judgement when they have no right to do so. uhhh I know you understand. And OMG I know the freak show will never end especially when we have the twins with us.... yay. I am super protective of my kids already so yeah might be moving back downtown. Keep your head high!

 

QUOTE(momof5 @ Feb 15 2008, 01:17 AM) [snapback]622966[/snapback]
I'm sorry you are having a crappy day because some people are idiots. I am one of 7 children. My whole life I have heard, "Don't your parents know what causes that? or "You must be Catholic." Now that I have 4 children, I am hearing, "I hope you're done" and "Don't be dumb and try to catch up to your mom." My parents have been married 44 years and have never depended on anyone to raise us or pay for us except themselves. I had a miscarriage at 17, and my first child at 18. The same man (My DH) has fathered all of my children and I get VERY irritated also when others feel they need to voice their opinions about my age and my amount of children. Continue to hold your head and belly high and say, "I look good for 50, don't I?" just to shut them up!


tactless, what is up with people??? My DH's mom got crap for having 4 kids back in the day... It still hurts her and my DH that they had to endure so much judgement from society. It is annoying. My thing is I don't feel it is my responsibility to justify myself to complete strangers to make them feel comfortable. I shouldn't have to break down examples of why it is ok for me to be pregnant or to be who I am. People need to stop their assumptions of the worst in people and just accept people for who they are. I have grey hair sprouting all over the place (can't wait to dye it) but I am almost 30 (that was scary to type) and I have no signs of wrinkles... yes I am blessed Thank you haha Don't let them get you down!

 

I didn't get to guess the age.. but I would have said 23 ish.. however I am 28 almost 29 but don't look my age.. and I get the same look when I am pregnant walking around or even walking around with my kids.

I really like what the PP said..agree 100%

"My thing is I don't feel it is my responsibility to justify myself to complete strangers to make them feel comfortable. I shouldn't have to break down examples of why it is ok for me to be pregnant or to be who I am"

 

i got the same thing when I was 23 and pregnant with my son… I had been married 3 years and finished school… I was “old” enough… I had a miscarriage at 22 and when my mom came to the hospital and went up to the desk to ask for me, the nurse said… “Her boyfriend is right over there” and pointed to my husband… my mom snapped… “That’s her husband, I HOPE her boyfriend isn’t here” (my mom has a very strange since of humor). I don’t get it this go around (I just turned 33 and have my son in tow) but I do get is this your first (even with DS right there)? My DH said the same thing, he can totally tell a difference in how people react to us now… the kicker I hated after he was born is everyone assumed we “had” to get married… and even if we did that’s none of their business… but I was asked that all the time… sometime in a roundabout way of “how old is your little boy?” and later in the conversation, “so how long have you been married?”… people find out we have been married almost 13 years and they ask if we got married in high school… like that makes this less of a commitment… sorry about my vent… I obviously got scared…I will always remember going to pick my son up from preschool and a new teacher (who had not met me) said Noah your Nanny is here for you… he ran in and said… that’s not my nanny that’s my mom!!!!

 

QUOTE(avd1995 @ Feb 15 2008, 02:14 AM) [snapback]622708[/snapback]
Is that a picture of you?



I had a strong feeling that was a picture of you. I can relate, (I'm not pregnant) but I look young.

I turn 40 this year and people cannot believe it.

I am so sorry that people have been so hurtful and rude. :hug99:

I know it is hard to ignore them. Wishing you the best, for the rest of your pregnancy.

 

I look fairly young myself... young enough to be stopped by a truancy officer at the mall two years ago. I learned to speak up, I didn't say something to everyone just the most obnoxious like, "I'm not as young as I look" or "Thank you for our concern but my husband and I have this covered." The rudest comment was something similar to your abortion comment and I told the older "gentleman" that I am a college educated, home owning mother and he was lucky that I had enough class for the both of us so I wouldn't tell him what I really thought!

Anyway, it is liberating to speak up. I live in a small town so they few times I did speak up, it spread fairly quickly.

 

I admire you for holding your tongue. I don't think I could have... you ought to have laughed and said, "Thanks, I always enjoy hearing how young I look. It's been a while since anyone called me a teen though." I have 2 teen moms that use our daycare. It is a tough job. I was 19 when I had my first and it was tough at that age. For the girls that are raising their babies and still going to school, I have to say I am very proud of what they are doing and I feel they deserve our support.

I had 2 children by the time I was 21, and felt like everyone was judging me. I looked really young for my age. I was still getting carded when I would buy my ex cigarettes at 25! Some people are just really ignorant and like you said, don't have any tact what so ever. :hug99:

 

i get that all the time and im *cough* 35; people ask if its my first--i guess not looking our age is a good thing but yeah some people can be snotty when it comes to commenting on others--and u look amazing!

 

I feel ya. I got the meanest comments when I had my first, and I was very very young. I let it just roll off now. :hug99: I'm sorry your date night was a bust.

 

OMG I would be FURIOUS! I WOULD HAVE HAD TO SAY SOMETHING! Seriously! That really pisses me off!

I am so glad you are able to let it roll off your back. I sure as heck wouldn't have been able to be so...... gracious.

 

QUOTE(2+2more! @ Feb 15 2008, 08:44 PM) [snapback]624226[/snapback]
i get that all the time and im *cough* 35; people ask if its my first--i guess not looking our age is a good thing but yeah some people can be snotty when it comes to commenting on others--and u look amazing!


thanks

 

Wow. That's awful! I swear, when it comes to pregnant women, people just do not know how to THINK before they speak!!! I probably would have said something to those people :angry: