Question about spacing out naps/dropping naps

Ok, so literature states that babies do NOT sleep as well when they're overtired, both overnight & during naps.

And literature also states that when you space out naps or drop naps, the remaining naps typically get longer.

Is it just me, or does that not contradict itself?

I try to keep my boys awake til 9am for the "Magical" 9am/1pm nap schedule, but they're SOOO tired & grouchy by that point that they fight sleep, have a hard time going down, sleep restlessly, & rarely sleep more than 30-45 mins. When I put them down at the first signs of their "sleepy cues", they go down easily, sleep more rested, but still usually only sleep 45 mins or so. They will sleep 1-2.5 hrs if they're in their swing or in my arms, though!

I'm at a loss. My children refuse to follow any text book examples. Everyone keeps telling me to stretch out their naps & drop their 3rd one, but at this point, I'm just happy they're sleeping AT ALL b/c of how little they seem to enjoy sleeping. I've also heard it takes a few days to get into a new 'routine', but even after a week of trying the "9 & 1" naps, we had crabby, overtired, overstimulated, exhausted twins. It just didn't work.

So what do I do? Put them down when they're tired & risk the continual life of short naps (which is even WORSE when they don't get down for their 3rd one) OR continue to try to stretch them out & hope for the "Longer Nap Fairy" to visit our house someday.....?????

Or just give up ?

 

I would put them down when they are tired. What time do they get up? how long between naps/awake time? Mine sleep 7 to 7 then takes naps at 9 and 1. But if they are up at 6 then they go down at 8 and so adjust as the day goes. If they are awake by 10:30 I can push the second nap until 1 but if it is before that they go down earlier. Mine are awake from 3 until bedtime at 7. That is the long stretch adn works for them. They are some fussy but I feed solids at 5 and that helps revive until bedtime. If you have tried a week and it didn't work I would try something else for a week. Try putting them down 2 hours after they wake and see how your week goes.

 

I do the naps at 9 and 1ish. I used to put them down about 15 minutes before the nap time so they had some time to fuss it out, chat, giggle whatever. That worked for me!

 

For a while when I was trying to implement the 9 and 1 nap routine, I would put my girls down anywhere from 8:15 to 9 in the morning and then 12:30 to 1:15 in the afternoon and then played it by ear from there. If they slept briefly when I put them down for 12:30, they would get another nap. If they went down at 1 and slept soundly for a while, no late afternoon nap.

I would definitely put them down when they are tired and gradually work up to 9. HSHHC states that the "9" nap can be anywhere from a 1/2 hour prior to a 1/2 hour later.

My girls did get into the 9 and 1 routine eventually and were sleeping longer and dropped the third nap. Definitely pay attention to their cues though. Don't keep them up just because the clock says it's not time.

 

I'm sort of in the same boat. My babies usually nap ~45 min (and I don't settle for less), though they'll have longer ones here and there too. Just this week I tried dropping their 3rd nap and stretching out their wake times. And it was a bloody disaster! Yesterday was the 3rd day of it, and DD was so miserable that I was crying, I felt so sorry for her. So I think we've had enough of that. My instinct says it's time to go back to just following their cues, not pushing them to stay awake longer than they can.

Also, as much respect as I have for HSHHC, I think the 9/1 thing is not for everyone. Our old system (which wasn't perfect, but at least was better than 2 naps) resulted in naps around 8:30, 11:30, and 2:30 many days (lots of variation in times, depending on how long naps were and how tired they were acting).

So I'd say forget the books and just follow your babies! Longer naps would be nice... But clearly the 9/1 schedule is not the ticket for everyone.

 

I would put them down when they're tired + a little bit extra time (since it doesn't work to look at the clock only). Weissbluth told me that maybe at first you only get to 12 or 12.15 pm but slowly keep pushing them later each couple of days (maybe closer to a week) and see what happens. It's not something all babies can do one to another. So you slowly have to start pushing them in the right direction (or the direction you want to go ... which is the right one).

My personal experience is pretty much what you're describing. With my first, I was anxiously waiting her sleepy cues, and she would go down easily within 2 hours of wakefullness but always relatively short naps (about 1 hour). Once you start pushing them a little later (again, little by little) you will see improvements, and I never went in at the first peep and gave them a chance to fall back to sleep when they would wake up after 30-45 minutes.

HTH.

 

QUOTE
or the direction you want to go ... which is the right one


Well, I'd take issue with this... Call me crazy, but I let my babies' needs drive the bus.

And HSHHC also says that some kids are just short nappers. I've tried CIO and soothing back to sleep, and if my babies are awake after 45 min, that's it, they are awake. This seems to be pretty common.

The "add a little extra time" to their wake time approach doesn't necessarily work for everyone either. Even 15 min can be too long for my kids sometimes, and results in lots of crying.

 

I would just have to say put them down when they're tired. You're mommy so you know better than Weissbluth when your babies need to go to sleep. I have a feeling once you start doing this (down when they're tired that is), you will start to see a "schedule" emerge on its own. This is how it happened for us. In a couple of weeks the naps will get longer. At that age mine were napping for 30 minutes on a good day and I thought I was going to lose it. I just thought too that maybe there's a teething issue too. Anyway, now they nap no less than hour at a time. Good luck!

 

We do 9:30 and 1:30 now and have dropped the third nap but we were JUST able to do this at 8 and a half months.

If I were you I would do what is working (3 shorter naps) and then try the new way every couple of weeks. If they can't do it, they are not ready. It will work itself out when they are ready - IMO.

Amy

 

I do my best to follow HSHHC but my kids wake up at 6 so they go down at 8 and usually (ie hopefully) wake up between 9:30 and 10 and then are back down btwn 11:30-12pm The 9 and 1pm nap only work if your children wake up at 7am, mine are up at 6am so we go with a 8am and 12pm nap (and then another quicky around 3:30-4 before bedtime at 6pm)


Good luck I would go with your kids cues keeping HSHHC in the bank of your mind as a goal to strive towards but not a rigid schedule based only on the clock