Question about meals and rules

Hi Ladies,

I have been dropping a random post or two in here for awhile, but we are officially part of the 2-4 forum now!

I have a question about meal-time rules. I work full-time, so dinner is generally the only meal that we eat with the kiddos (except for on the weekends). I have been following a lot of the advice of Ellyn Satter with regard to the division of responsibility with eating. Needless to say, I feel that it has really prevented a lot of potential eating battles (DD can be very strong-willed).

When the kids were smaller, I had a few chats with the gal that stays home with my kiddos with regard to meals. Today, I was home a little later before heading to work and saw a few things at breakfast that went against some of my "mealtime parenting" rules: she insisted that DD finish her oatmeal before allowing her to have a banana. She also insisted she finish her sippy of milk.

When I am around at mealtimes, I only suggest they finish an item...never insist. What do you think? Is this that big of an issue? I am terrified of creating food issues, especially at this very independent age!

 

Yeah I wouldn't be happy with that... you should never force a toddler to eat IMO. I offer several things and they eat what they want, and once they're done mealtime is over... that means nothing until the next meal/snack.

 

I agree with you. I too was never forced to "finish" my plate. I honestly wasn't able to eat what was served to me, it's not like I was protesting! As you know kids will eat when they're hungry and won't when they're not. I give all the food at once and they eat what they want. I do wait until they ask for the milk to give it to them to avoid them getting full from milk, but never forced them to finish it. I think you're right you don't want to create an issue with food. Food is fuel and should be treated as such. GL!

 

I know a lot of people that "insist" that their kids finish their plates of veggies but that's not what we do here either and I think most importantly you and your daycare provider have to be on the same page. I would just have a little sit down to discuss what you expect of the kids during meal time and what you do want them to eat and how you want her to handle it.
I wouldn't be upset with her, unless you had already had this discussion and she's doing it anyways.
Good luck!

 

Thanks for the thoughts! Overall, she has been a great nanny for our kiddos and they really respond to her She is just a little more strict about some things than I am (probably why they behave for her!!!).

We are actually having a new gal starting next week so I am not that worried about sitting down with her. I already have plans to really emphasize my meal-time expectations with the new nanny and make sure she understands my concerns with making the kiddos finish their food, etc.

 

I am not one to force my kids but I do make them finish what they have if they want seconds of a certain item. They don't have to if they don't want second but they can choose. Just lately I am asking them to finish their milk. They drink out of regular cups and just get a little milk at a time so they won't spill it or fill up on it. If they ask for seconds they I ask them to finish thier milk before getting down. I tell them it will make them grow big and strong and it almost always works. I think mine are old enough to start working on finishing what they ask for. If they ask for more of something I really try to have them finish it. Don't ask for more if you don't want more. I don't force it but they should start being responsible if they ask for more. It is still a process but we are working on it.