Question about intimacy

Hi ladies,

So for some this question may be too personal, but I couldn't think of a better place to get advice and/or reassurance.

Here is my situation:

I'm 27.5 weeks with boy/girl twins. All is looking great so far, their weights yesterday were 2 lbs 12 oz and 2 lbs 8 oz respectively. We didn't have a look at my cervix yesterday, but as of four weeks ago at my peri's office it was 4 cm and "tight as a drum" so my OB isn't even worried about that since I have just been having some very irregular BH contractions and nothing else that would signal any cervical changes happening.

I am living in California, and my husband is still overseas in Africa where we were both living until I came back here at 14 weeks pregnant. We thought it was only one baby then!!! We'd had sex a few times in the first trimester, but I was so sick I think I can count the number of times on one hand. Even then I was nervous about it as I'd had some spotting during the first tri which I know now was from a partial previa which is no longer an issue.

So my husband arrives to visit this week for about 10 days (I'll be 28 weeks) and my OB has given me the go ahead to have "gentle" sex. I have to be honest that I was almost hoping that he would have said NO SEX! I am so nervous and anxious about something going wrong with this twin pregnancy. I'm wondering if everyone else is just continuing on with a fairly regular sex life and doing okay? I'm sure I'm overreacting, but I just imagine my cervix getting bumped or an orgasm inducing other contractions or his semen causing cervical changes. I would almost prefer to just avoid it and do other things, but of course after 3 months apart and now that I am not sick anymore my husband is eager to get in the sack with his wife. Especially since he knows that it will probably be a LONG time after babies are born until that happens again, if only due to sheer exhaustion!

Anyways, any advice or anyone who has similar feelings to me? Just looking for some advice or reassurance I guess that I am not endangering these babies.

 

If your doctor says OK, I would go for it. If you're really concerned maybe use a condom or withdrawal to avoid the semen issue? Personally I think it's very important to preserve all the good things in your marriage and that includes sex! The happier/calmer you & your hubby are, the happier/calmer your babies will be!

 

All during my pregnancy, DH was living in Washington State (where he is stationed) while I lived in Arizona. We saw each other every other weekend and maintained a very regular sex life. Now, once I started having regular bh contractions we stopped and that was at 34 weeks. If your pregnancy has gone well so far and you have gotten the go ahead, then go ahead It's much harder to find the time post-pardum. It might relieve some stress too! Good Luck!

 

We continued to have sex, but as I grew and progressed in the pregancy it became more uncomfortable for me. My husband respected that so by the end (I only made it to 34 weeks - water broke) we really weren't having sex. But, my Dr. didnt' put any restrictions on it... and since your Dr. said its ok... I'd say, go ahead... just gentle until you know how you'll feel!

 

I would go for it. There may come a time when you are too big for sex and boy is that disapointing! Trust me LOL. Just be gentle like your doc said. I love what Barb said about preserving all things good in your marriage. Enjoy your visit!!!

 

Thanks ladies. I think all of your advice is great...you're so right that we sort of have to enjoy the good things while we can. My husband is really understanding and has already said that if it's just too stressful for me or even just too awkward that there are lots of other way that we can just enjoy being together. Funnily enough my sex drive is definitely turned up from the pregnancy hormones so I really want to just relax and get some lovin'! I'll just remind both of us to take it slow and gentle.

Thanks!

 

My perinatologist does recommend that pregnant parents of multiples use a condom to avoid having the sperm soften the cervix. Have others received this recommendation?

 

I've heard that too, although sometimes only in the 3rd trimester.

For the OP:
After pre-term labour with the last pregnancy, I've been super cautious about sex (I'm sure hubby misses it, considering how "happy" he was earlier today when we were snuggling fully dressed), but I can tell you it it feels uncomfortable at deep penetration, so you can tell your hubby when to "back off".

 

Personally, if you are not comfortable with "it" then I wouldnt do "it." There will be plenty of time for "it" after the babies are born. Maybe not right away...

 

I agree with Rachel. I wasn't willing to take the risk, even though I was never really officially told not to(before bedrest anyway). My husband understood, and to be honest, was just as freaked out about it as I was!