question about 'how' to breastfeed a singleton

hello!! haven't been on this site in a million years but i am expecting my LO to arrive in a couple of weeks.
with my twins i BF for 'about' 7-8 months but did supplement with formula.

i'd like to EBF this baby but the reality of having 2.5yo twins and BFing makes me 'stressed.' there is no way i am going to BF and then pump after.
any tips for just feeding one? do i just put them on one boob for 30 mins and can i simultaneously pump the other boob?

hope these questions make sense.
i was not successful with BFing the boys in the evenings; we bottle-fed to save our sanity and our marriage.

 

I don't know why you'd need to pump after. My girls were about 3 1/2 when Spencer was born. But my oldest was only 21 months when my second was born, he was 2 1/2 when Adam was born, etc. It's totally doable to nurse a baby with toddlers around. And personally, I wouldn't pump if you don't have to (I HATED pumping for the 4 months I did it for Sabrina). I think if you could BF exclusively for at least the first 4-6 weeks, that would be ideal. It will get your supply established. Then if you feel the need to supplement, you could maybe pump a little or supplement with formula for one feeding at night and your body will start to adjust your supply. I will say that unless there's some uncommon problem, it's sooooo much easier to BF a single baby, IMO. And you nursed TWO for 8 months, that's great! But you do normally nurse a single baby on both sides at each feeding. Spencer did have some latching issues at first and it seemed a little ridiculous to be going to a LC with my sixth baby. But we finally got those figured out about 2-3 weeks old and the kid started growing like a weed.

 

:woohoo: Congratulations on your pending arrival!

I also supplemented my twins with formula, but I was happy to find that was not necessary with a singleton. Unless you are going to be away from the baby for long stretches of time (like at work) you most likely will find no need to pump. Just because you had certain problems or challanges BFing twins, does not mean that those will repeat themselves. You should work under the assuption that everything will go better this time around.
You could certainly simultaniously pump the other side if you so wanted. I just feed one side then at the next feeding fed the other side. Only as he approached a year old did he ever eat both sides in one feed.
There are quite a few users who had a singleton when their twins were about your twins age, I'm sure they will have some tips for you. My twins were 5 and a half when I had my singleton so another sort of ballgame, but what helped me was to wear the baby almost all the time. I was able to go out and do things with my girls, take them to school, pick them up, go shopping, even prepare snacks and lunch all with my baby in his sling.

Frankly I was totally amazed how easy it is to have babies one at a time! :babyflips:

 

this is making me very happy ladies!! thank you for the replies thus far!!

when 'attempting' to BF twins at night, it was a nightmare. my DH and i were at each other's throats and we couldn't sleep for more than an hour at a time bc it took so long to feed the babies, etc. I'm sure you KWIM.

i was planning on pumping and feeding the baby the bottles at nighttime; or if we were to go somewhere. i know most people don't mind nursing in front of others; i had an issue with the twins bc i tandem-fed them, etc.

i just wasn't sure about pumping one boob while feeding with the other or i didn't even think to feed on one boob and then switch for the next feeding, etc.

 

As for nursing in public, I had a ring sling (a maya wrap) which has a tail that hangs out of the rings, this can then be used like a shawl to through up over your other shoulder, completely covering the baby. I had people ask me, Do you have a baby in there?, and I could say, Why yes, and I'm actually nursing it right at this moment.
They had no idea.

 

I agree with the others - don't pump unless you find you absolutely have to!

As for whether to nurse on both sides or not, the rule of thumb, especially with newborns, is to let them "finish" the first side, then burp, change diaper, etc & offer the second side. They may take it, they may not - think of it as dessert. Emmett only nursed on both sides until my milk came in. After that, he was usually done a nursing session within 5 - 10 minutes on the first side due to a very fast let down.

My other thought on nursing a singleton is to forget about the clock. Let the baby nurse for however long s/he wants (it may be 5 minutes, it may be 45 minutes, you never know) & as often as s/he wants. Especially for the first little while. For your older kids, you may want to assemble a special box of toys/coloring books/puzzles/treats/etc that they're only allowed to play with while you're nursing. That will help to keep them occupied while you tend to the baby. And don't worry if they watch a lot of tv for the first few weeks! It won't hurt them.

 

with the twins i nursed them for 30 minutes and then pumped and then topped them off with formula bc one was often still hungry. it was torture, lol.
it came to the point where i generally pumped and bottle fed them. i *think* we might have had some latching issues....

 

I have a similar situation in a few ways, so thought I could add some encouragement.

My older boys are 28 months old. They were born at only 26 weeks gestation (doing great today!) and BFing them, for me, was a highly, highly stressful situation. They were fed by NG tube for their first 2 months of life. When it came time to BF them, latching was problematic and I was constantly surrounded by an audience of LCs and nurses (not to mention beeping monitors), all with different opinions about what I should do (not the intimate experience you hope for). Only one LO ever latched decently. When we finally brought them home after 3 months, I was so terrified of these preemies, sleep deprived, etc., BFing did not go well. I could not get passed the thought that they may not be getting enough when all I wanted to do was ensure that my little guys did as well as possible. I ended up pumping for 7 1/2 months (and supplementing).

So, I tell you that because I went into my current situation with a lot of anxiety.

This BFing experience has been completely different. Not perfect by any means, but much less stressful. My LO was term and he was born tongue tied. The LCs and nurses suggested off the bat that I use a shield, which I did (weaned at 6 weeks--thankfully). The first few days were highly stressful because my milk had not come in and I was so worried he was starving. I almost supplemented, but didn't. Finally, my milk came in with a vengeance! LO and I struggled a little the first few weeks. I struggled mightily with worry that he may not be getting enough milk because he would only latch for 5 or fewer minutes at a time. So, I'd keep putting him back on the breast. He'd start refusing and I didn't realize until weeks into this that he was done (I know, seems obvious, but I thought there must be some other problem). In my mind, he couldn't be done because it hadn't been long enough. I'd caution heavily against reading too much into the "averages." For example, that a baby should spend 20 minutes on each breast each feeding. My LO NEVER does this. It took me weeks to accept the fact that he is a pretty efficient eater in a few minutes time (his tongue tie has also been corrected). To this day, even with his great weight gain and always-full diapers, I still struggle to accept that he's done eating in 3 minutes sometimes! You have to trust in the "system," which came slowly for me.

What I'd tell you is that you can do this if I can. I came from a place of great worry and now, after several weeks, LO and I have hit our stride. We know each other now. It may not be wonderful overnight, but keep at it. I would not pump afterwards unless you have a real reason to. I have pumped fewer than 10 times in nearly 3 months. The reasons have been to get some relief (I had an oversupply issue until my milk regulated) and I have taken my older boys out for the morning a few times and my Mom bottle feeds BM for me.

I did end up seeing an LC when LO was 3 weeks mainly for peace of mind. She weighed him before and after his feed and he had gained over 3 oz. This helped allay my fears that he wasn't getting enough (he'd also fuss a lot after feeds, but that's just him). I think when you come from the land of pumping and bottling it's hard to imagine that the baby can possibly be getting as much from you as from a bottle, but it is more than possible. Not being able to "see" what the baby takes is a very difficult shift.

As for BFing with toddlers around, this was my biggest worry when DH went back to work. The first few days were a little challenging because the boys were still getting used to this new person, but now it's just part of our routine. I give the older boys a task or a favorite snack or video and ask them to sit near me while I feed the baby. Only a few times in over a month have I had to stop because of misbehavior or something like that.

I wish you luck. Have faith in yourself and follow your LOs cues. Stick it out and I bet you'll have great success.

 

thanks for posting this thread! I'm expecting a singleton in the summer and was curious about the whole one side or both at each feeding! I'm sure I'll be learning a bit more about this as the time comes closer. Good luck, sounds like nursing a singleton will be a breeze!

 

I just wanted to add, I've realized that having babies (or a baby) in the Nicu really makes you doubt your natural mothering abilities!! Especially when it comes to BFing, and especially if the staff is non supportive, which is what I had. But my LC keeps Texting me to just believe in yourself, you naturally know how to do this and babies will almost always naturally know how to breastfeed the right way. Hearing that over and over is really helping, just trust in yourself and nature! And nursing a singleton is much more natural than nursing twins!!

 

I just wanted to say that I successfully BF my singleton for over a year after exclusively pumping for my twins (I tried but my preemies never took to BF). My son was also tongue-tied so we did have some trouble (and great pain) in the beginning. Also, my milk came in with a vengeance. I don't know if my boobs were expecting to make milk double time, but... whoa!!!! The worst part was that I tried to pump off the discomfort but NOTHING would come out with the pump! When I would nurse my son, I latch him until letdown then take him off and put rags over my breast to catch the 5 streams of BM shooting out!!! I tried pumping on one breast while feeding on the other breast in the beginning, but it was just to difficult. It took about two weeks before my supply leveled out (I did use cabbage leaves with caution)! He was a single side feeder for about 6 months (every 3 hours), then we went two sides after that (every 4 hours).

Also, my twins were 17 months when baby brother came and once nursing was established, it was SO easy!! (I was a crazy, emotional, nervous wreck in the beginning though so if you are too, it's OK!!!) I was absolutely committed to giving it a try for at least 40 days and if it didn't work out, then I would go to bottles guilt free... and WE MADE IT. You can do this and like the others said, trust your body... it knows exactly what to do! Congratulations!!!!

 

I really had this with a couple of my single kids (before twins). A LC told me to fill a large bowl or like cake pan with warm water and (stripped down from the waist up) bend over and hang into it. It sounds and feels a bit bizarre and I wouldn't do it with even my DH around because I felt ridiculous. But the combination of warm water and gravity helped me let down without making more milk like a pump will. After the let down, I'd towel off and nurse my baby. I never had that problem after the first two. Adam was a champion nurser and actually gained 8 ounces in the first 5 days instead of losing it like normal.... the pedi's office got a second scale to check because they thought the first one was calibrated wrong. Then with twins there were two. And maybe by the time Spencer came along my body was used to regulating itself more quickly? I only needed nursing bra pads for a couple weeks.

 

I agree with everyone that nursing a singleton is SO much easier. I nursed my twins for 15 and 19 months, but we always supplemented because I work full time and I did not feel comfortable nursing them in public. Gigi is almost 4 months old and I am proud to say she has never had anything but breastmilk and did not have her first bottle until I went back to work!

My situation is very similar to yours. My twins were 28 months when she was born. I moved a comfy loveseat into their playroom so that I could sit in the room with them while I nursed and not spend so much time away from them. That way I didn't think twice about feeding the baby on demand. The only difficult time was if she needed to eat at one of their meal times. I found myself giving them less messy food (lunchmeat, chicken nuggets, etc) and allowing some TV to make those times easier.

I did not worry about pumping after feeds because I felt I didn't have time. I did want to pump a little to build up a freezer stash so I tried to pump once a day while the twins were napping. Nursing at night is SO much easier with one. I keep her in a bassinet next to my bed and feed her and get her back down in no time. DH never even wakes up and early on I dozed while I was nursing her. It would have taken me twice as long to make and warm a bottle! I have even found that I am getting comfortable nursing her in public, mainly because with trying to fit 3 kids worth of stuff into a diaper bag I really don't want to have to mess with bottles as well!

As other posters have mentioned, my biggest piece of advice is to trust your body. You are so much more experienced and this can help you relax and enjoy. Spend your time in the hospital learning your new baby and practicing feeding before getting home to the craziness. Trust that if baby is peeing and pooping they are getting enough. I was so worried about supply but my body also seemed to think it was feeding two again! Don't get caught up with time or amounts, just feed. Try to turn off the twin brain and go with the flow a little. Life with twins is all about scheduling but life with a third child is all about flexibility so that baby can fit into the older kids' schedule.