Question about circumcision

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by NicoleLea, Nov 26, 2012.

  1. NicoleLea

    NicoleLea Well-Known Member

    I know this is a baby question but not right for the expecting forum. Anyways, our upcoming arrival is going to be a boy and it just dawned on me that we will have to decide about circumcision. I never thought much about it before and assumed he would be circumcised since my husband is, and honestly, I kind of felt like it was the man's decision since I don't have those parts and don't know anything about it! :) Out of curiousity I looked up some info on circumcision and was really surprised that it has gone down in the last 20 years. I just assumed that like 90% of guys in the US were, but what I read said more like 50% now. So it got me to wondering. If you have a boy/boys, did you get him circumcised or not? Who made the decision, you or your husband or you both decided together? And are you happy with your choice? Also, what exactly made you choose to do it or not do it???
     
  2. mom2gc

    mom2gc Well-Known Member

    Our son was circumcised a few days after birth. My husband was the one that wanted it done as he is circumcised. Hygiene is much easier, but there are as many arguments for as against it. So far DS has had no urinary tract infections.
     
  3. slugrad1998

    slugrad1998 Well-Known Member

    We made the decision together. My husband is circumcised so we wanted the boy to look similar, and I also felt more comfortable cleaning a boy who is because it is what I am used to. I am still happy with my decision and would do it again if I had any more boys. It definitely is not as popular in some populations anymore, but where I live I would say at least 80% of the boys are still circumcised.
     
  4. weegus

    weegus Well-Known Member

    We did circumcision for all our boys. Truthfully, we never even considered not doing it as all the males in both our families are. One of my twin boys is "less circumcised" than his brother (one of the ways we can tell them apart) and I really have to be diligent about pulling the skin back and cleaning it, more so now that he is potty trained... when he was in a diaper, I cleaned it all the time. It gets really gunky and he has even gotten chapped around the tip; no UTIs though. I would imagine the same issues if you opted for not circumcising. I don't have those problems with my other two "more circumcised" boys.
     
  5. sulik110202

    sulik110202 Well-Known Member

    I left that decision up to my husband. He wanted our son circumsised for two reasonse. First he is and didn't want him to be different than Dad. Secondly his Dad wasn't circumsised and had to have it done when he was in his 60's (I can't remember the reason now). His Dad said that was the worst pain he every experienced. Scared my husband so that factor played a big part in his decision.
     
  6. daisies

    daisies Well-Known Member

    We did not circumcise our son. I always said, 'a boy should look like his father' and assumed the man i married would be circumcised. DH is from Holland. He is not circumcised and from what he says the Dutch do not usually circumcise.

    I was worried about hygiene but it has not been a problem at all. At night, when i bath him I pull the skin back and wash it and dry it. And once int he morning, I wipe when i do his diaper. Occasionally i put some ointment on it, if it seems red (maybe once a week)... more for my peace of mind than for him. The same thing i do for my DD's privates.
    Also, as a new born i never had to worry about cleaning the incision for the circumcision.

    My SIL's son is circumcised and she says he does not like her to touch him, even to adjust it so it points down. I have to think it is because the circumcision was painful and he has lasting memories. DS does not mind if adjust it or clean it.

    My DH has never had a urinary tract infection or other infection.

    I think there are a lot good reasons to decide either way.
    If we were to have another boy i would not circumcise him.
     
  7. cheezewhiz24

    cheezewhiz24 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    We have not circumcised our boys. I intended to, but had difficulties with nursing and we waited until they were almost 2 weeks old to establish nursing first. We drove to the hospital to have the hospitalist take care of it but in our sleep deprived state drove to the wrong hospital. Whoops! At that point, I just didn't care anymore about it.

    So they aren't circumcised but I figure it can be done at any point in their lives- yes, it is more painful as people age- but cannot really be 'undone'.

    There aren't any issues with cleanliness- people all over the world are uncircumcised. You wash the outside of the penis and don't retract the foreskin. It's like washing an arm. :pardon:

    Personally, we didn't worry about the boys looking like DH too much. We figured they wouldn't be comparing penises that much and even if they did a simple explanation that they have the skin they were born with would suffice.

    Good luck with your decision.
     
    3 people like this.
  8. twinmom2dana

    twinmom2dana Well-Known Member

    All four of our boys are circumcised, like daddy. We made the decision together, which basically means I said I want it done and DH said "ok" We had to have each of them done by a pediatric urologist instead of at the hospital after birth as they are particularly endowed and needed a different plasti-bell ring than provided. They had no problems with it, only cried briefly after it was done.
     
  9. Katheros

    Katheros Well-Known Member

    Actually, the US is one of the few countries that still does circumcisions on a routine basis.

    My three are all circumcised. The twins were done because their father wanted it done and I didn't want to fight him on it (it was a bad relationship already). My third son was circumcised because his father is Jewish so I didn't think I'd win that argument. I did try, though.

    Personally I'm not a fan of it as there's simply no reason to do it.
     
  10. SC

    SC Well-Known Member

    I have a unique perspective on this that I'll share.

    I should first say that I have 3 boys, all of whom are circumcised. Sure, for a few days after the procedures, they were red and presumably sore in that area. But, then it's over and done with for life and we have never had any problems/regrets for having chosen to circumcise.

    Before I met DH I dated (and almost married) a man for 6 years. He was not circumcised. During our relationship, I began having horrible infections that were at first thought to be some type of female issue. They got so bad and were so recurrent that I had to have an exploratory laparoscopy done, which incidentally revealed endometriosis, but not the real cause of the infections. Finally, after years, we figured out that they were severe (somewhat atypical) bladder infections and it took a while to find the right antibiotic for me. After talking with several doctors and zeroing in on the problem, it was determined that my ex was very likely repeatedly passing bacteria to me and I was developing these infections. They started a few days after we... well, you know (blush!). Not every time, but often.
    When, our relationship ended, I never had another infection.

    Obviously, a lot of this could have been avoided with proper cleaning habits. My ex was a clean guy, I just think he was never taught or never realized the importance of really cleaning under the foreskin. I didn't know much about it back then and being young, I just didn't suspect that as my problem. It really took a toll though. I suffered a lot through all of those infections and doctors visits and medication and surgery.
    And, it just so happened that his uncle had to be circumcised as an adult while we were dating and I remember some talk that it was not pleasant.

    So, you can see why I tend to be pro-circumcision. I think it can work either way, though, as long as the man takes proper care if he's uncircumcised. It is, however; well-established that uncircumcised men are more prone to infection and can pass it more easily. I'm a case in point!

    So, our decision had nothing to do with "looking like Daddy." Given my experience and the fact that DH is circumcised, it was never even a point of much discussion. We just did it.
     
  11. miss_bossy18

    miss_bossy18 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Emmett is intact. DH & I made the decision together in the sense that neither of us saw any point in doing it. He's only a year old, but so far, we're very happy with our decision.

    The biggest reason I didn't want to circumcise Emmett is that it's HIS foreskin & without medical indication, I didn't feel it was my decision to make. If he chooses to do so as an adult, then that's his choice. Some other things that went into my decision: statistically most of his peers are intact and in terms of comparing, he's more likely to compare himself to his peers than his father, the foreskin serves a biological purpose in protecting the glans & maintaining it's sensitivity, as well as providing a lubricating action during sex later on, and circumcision can sometimes interfere with establishing breastfeeding.

    In terms of care & cleaning, the foreskin, like the vagina, is self cleaning. You should not retract it. It will separate from the glans & begin retracting itself usually in toddlerhood/early childhood, but if not, anything up to 18 years old is considered within normal range.
     
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  12. AimeeThomp

    AimeeThomp Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    My son is circumcised. I don't like the idea of it, but my husband really wanted it and honestly in this area most everyone who can afford to do it, does it.
    Everyone I talked to about it here, including doctors, encouraged me to do it. My son has had no problems with it and doesn't seem to have any issues during diaper changes and I've seen him grab himself when his diaper is off so I don't think he has any pain in that area.

    Honestly I'd have been fine with it either way, but I don't have a penis so I deferred to my husband on this one.
     
  13. Danibell

    Danibell Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Both my boys are circumcised, and I'm happy with the decision we made together. There's so many pro's/con's for each side that you really just have to make the decision for yourself whether this is right for you and your little man or not :)
     
  14. tinalb

    tinalb Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    My oldest is circumcised. Honestly, I never gave it any real thought. At that point it seemed like what everyone else was doing & I was exhausted and just agreed. I swore, over the next few days that I would never do that to a child again. I don't care what anyone else says, he was in a fair amount of pain.

    The second time around, I did some research & stuck with my decision not to circumcise him. The reality is that circumcision rates are on the decline, most of his friends are not circumcised, insurance here does not cover it because it is not medically necessary, and I just didn't want to put him through that procedure & remove a part of his body for no real reason. I wish I had given it more thought when my older son was born & I wouldn't have circumcised him either. Our doctor once compared it to a tonsillectomy, yes there are people who will need their tonsils removed when they are older, but that doesn't mean that we should routinely remove them as infants for no reason.





    Agree with both of these. People always use the cleanliness excuse, but it really isn't an issue. It is a part of the body like any other. It is meant to be there and doesn't require any special attention.
     
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  15. SC

    SC Well-Known Member

    This is just not true. Things change as men age and there can be issues with bacteria being harbored in the area.
    I don't know if that's technically a "cleanliness" issue, but this has been widely studied (see HIV and circumcision, for example) and associations have been established.
    It really does require some special attention.
     
  16. Fran27

    Fran27 Well-Known Member

    We didn't. Hubby is circumcised and didn't want him to be. I'm from France where it's pretty rare for people to do it, and I've never heard of anyone having issues because it wasn't done, so I didn't consider it necessary at all. Plus we heard a little boy who was being done, and frankly I couldn't imagine putting my son through that after that. And for us, the 'being like dad' thing didn't work for us anyway because hubby doesn't like being naked in front of the kids.

    I have to add though... you should NOT pull back the skin to clean until it's ready to be pulled back.
     
  17. Utopia122

    Utopia122 Well-Known Member

    My son is circumcised. I asked the opinion of my dad who is not and he told me that I needed to. He has had nothing but problems because of not being circumcised. So much so, that a doctor told him he needed to be circumcised. So, because of his opinion and recommendation, we decided to have our son done.

    I also understand that a lot of men never had problems....but this just wasn't the case for my father and he did not want Luke to have even the slightest possibility of problems.

    Oh, and his problems started as he had gotten older (he was 50 when my son was born), so I really don't know if that is something that happens a lot, or just with my dad, but anyway, that's what I based my decision on.
     
  18. sharongl

    sharongl Well-Known Member

    For us there wasn't a discussion. I am Jewish, and we had it done on my kitchen table as part of their bris ceremony. The only time the boys cried was when their diaper was removed--most likely they were cold in the air conditioned house. Not problems at all.
     
  19. MrsWright

    MrsWright Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Both boys are and I'm happy with our decision. Mostly bc DH is and everyone here does but it wasn't too much of a recovery, we put neosporin in it to keep it for. Sticking to the diaper and I would say in about 3 days it was healed completely.
     
  20. daisies

    daisies Well-Known Member

  21. Loranda

    Loranda Member

    I encourage you to do research about circumcision, and take this decision extremely seriously. Doing it "to look like dad" or "because everyone else is" are simply not good enough reasons to cut the foreskin off your child.

    There are so many reasons to keep your son intact. Here are ten: Intact America This site also has information about the myths surrounding uncircumcised penises, ie: they are hard to clean.

    The foreskin has thousands of nerve endings, and by removing it you are removing his potential for sensitivity and sexual pleasure.

    From Intactamerica.org: "In babies, the foreskin protects the glans (head of the penis) from abrasions and keeps bacteria from entering the urinary tract. Throughout a man’s life, it protects the glans from cold and injury, and from drying out. The foreskin has an important role in sexual activity. In adult men the foreskin provides the ample skin needed for a full erection. Because the foreskin has thousands of nerve endings, it enhances an intact man’s sexual sensations. The gliding action produced by the foreskin and the glans working together gives pleasure to both the intact man and his sex partner."
     
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  22. mama_dragon

    mama_dragon Well-Known Member

    Like everything from breast vs formula to vaccines this is becoming a hot button issue. Its a personal choice for your family. There are many pros and cons and a lot of very opinionated people out there on both sides. You really can't make a bad decision as long as you are making it from your perspective of doing what is best for your child.

    My boys are. We both wanted them to be circumcised for various reasons. The procedure was very simple and faily painless. They were numbed with cream and given a sugar water pacifier. One of them never cried at all. I breast fed each right afterwards for comfort. Probably more for myself then them. Three days of vasoline and it was healed.

    http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/malecircumcision/

    And please know that I am not strongly for or against. We just made the best choice we could for our boys given our family and our beliefs. Good luck and whatever you decide will be the best choice for your family!! So don't feel guilty either way.
     
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  23. megkc03

    megkc03 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    We didn't. Dh is not. His parents are from Italy, and it's not really done in European countries. It was ultimately dh's decision.

    And if we wanted to, with Anthony, we couldn't have because he had severe hypospadias and chordee and they needed the extra skin for his surgeries(3!).

    But most importantly-do what works for your family. I honestly don't understand looking like your peers...because I just can't fathom my boys showing off their parts in the gym locker room... But-that's me! Lol!
     
  24. genagoodrow

    genagoodrow Well-Known Member

    Ahhhh, a lot of the PPer's have posted good perspectives. It's a really personal decision, and something you and your DH need to come to yourselves. Lots of reasons for and against, and how meaningful any particular reason is to you depends.

    For what an anecdote is worth, I'll share mine. I was pretty ambivalent about circ a few years ago, and I had daughters, so it wasn't relevant. Then my DH had a medically required circ; he was in him mid-thirties. His condition was very rare (and I suspect was caused chemical exposure in the Army). The surgery wasn't terrible. But the reason I bring it up is that he and I have seen the same man with and without the foreskin.

    Being in intact was much better for both of us. This is a functional piece of skin, both as protection, increased sensation, and elasticity and give, like natural lubricant. Sorry if that's too graphic.

    Since then, I'm no longer ambivalent. I personally believe there should be a very good reason for removing an important part of another person's body without their permission. Religion may be a good reason for some. But hygiene isn't. There are alternative ways to stay clean and prevent disease, that doesn't carry as high a personal cost.

    That's my personal opinion and experience. Not science or reasons for anyone else, but not many people have seen the same adult man intact and circ, so there's my particular perspective. Foreskins are great!

    Good luck with your decision, whatever it may be!
     
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  25. Aeliza

    Aeliza Well-Known Member

    We got our boys circumcised. One boy has a little extra foreskin left, so I do have to make sure he cleans there. It gets red and irritated if I don't, and I have found underwear string stuck in there (don't ask! I haven't a clue!). It needs to be cleaned. Gunk gets stuck in there even with just a little foreskin. It was a personal choice, and we are happy we did it. I do agree with the idea that they should have the choice, but when they are this young, parents are the voice of their child and they need to do what they think is best for their child (whether it is or not, the intentions are hopefully good). So, I do respect people's opinion that it's their kids' choice to make later in life. For my kids, I felt we did what was best for them, and we chose to circumcise. My DH is circumcised and felt strongly that our boys needed to as well. I agreed as I have had a couple of boyfriends that did not and it just seemed like so much work. One boyfriend was super sensitive that he'd feel pain when he got an erection in his underwear.

    I think it's such a personal decision. You may look online for some answers, but you will get some very strong opinions on both sides. Circumcise to avoid possible diseases later! Keeping the skin on allows more bacteria and germs to fester and spread causing harm/illness to both the boy and any age and girl he has sex with. Don't circumcise because it's not your decision to make and the hype about diseases is bogus. Just clean the area and all is dandy. Circumcise because it'll hurt later if he has to get it done, and he'll wish you did it when he was a baby and pain is measured differently and forgotten within seconds after it's felt. Don't circumcise because...blah blah blah....! It really could go on. So what is important for you in making your decision is what you need to find out. Read about the pros and cons about circumcisions and make your choice from that. Talking to people is fine and you'll get those same strong opinions, but take in what you think is important to you. Ask your doctor and the nurses at your doctor's office. Just listen to what you personally feel is best. You are your child's advocate and you will make the right decision whatever you choose.
     
  26. NicoleLea

    NicoleLea Well-Known Member

    Thanks for all your input ladies! I think we are probably going to go ahead with it. Husband and I talked and he really wants to get him circumcised. A lot of the reasons mentioned here, he wants him to look like all the men in the family, he thinks it has been good as far as cleaning/hygiene (for himself at least), he thinks that at least during our sons early life, circumcising will still be more common in most US areas and so doesn't want him to be the odd one out. I think the reasons are just as good as any, and like I mentioned before I do feel it is more the mans choice since I don't have the parts/experience and therefore can't say one way or the other. I think he was under the impression I was against it, which I'm not, I just said actually it didn't matter much to me either way that I would be OK with either choice.
     
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