putting twins in seperate classes

can you share your expereinces on if and when you seperating your twins at school. what age and how did the transition go? my twins will be in kindergarden next year and their teacher thinks we should seperate them..

 

I'm splitting mine next year for pre-k. I would have done it this year but it wasn't possible. The way I see it, it's not as different as separating two siblings of different ages... the only difference is that in that case, you don't have the choice and don't even think about it... and the kids do just fine. I honestly can't see any reason to keep them together (except convenience for us), but I'm biased because I have a twin sister and we were together until 14.

 

Our girls are in separate classes in pre-k this year. They had no issues and in fact, get along better now for the time they spend apart. Good luck with your decision.

 

Mine were in the same pre-K class and they fought all the time. For K, I split them up and it's been better for all of us! They handled the change just fine and never had a problem with it.

 

i'm debating splitting them up next year - for 4 year old as their teacher recommends. i'm nervous though. they are shy kids and i'm afraid they depend on eachother and it might be hard for them.. anyone else have quieter/shy kids who did well on their own? by shy i mean, they still sometimes have trouble at the end of the year when i drop them off, wanting me to stay etc, so hard to imagine leaving each one in their own class without eachother.

 

Shyness is actually the best reason to separate IMO... otherwise they lean on each other, don't socialize with anyone else, and don't get out of their 'shell'.

 

I think there are so many factors that play into the separate/don't separate debate, it really has to be on an individual basis. I just don't think a generic "twins should be separated" fits. I do see twins as different than regular siblings, it is a totally different experience and relationship in a lot of ways from what I can see between my three boys, so I can't use that as a reason to separate, if that makes sense.

At 4, I wouldn't worry about it. Together, not together, I would go by your gut. Some small elementary schools only have 1 teacher per grade level which means that some twins never have the chance to separate until middle school - so, it just isn't something I see as something to worry about too much. :hug:

 

Mine have been in separate classes since they started preschool just after they turned 3. The one we thought would have a problem with separation didn't, and the one we weren't worried about did. They thrived and have continued to do so. The one that was quieter spent 3 year old preschool circle time on his teachers' lap, but he wasn't the only one needing that extra attention.

 

My twins never batted an eye about seperating them in different classes.

 

My twins are still in the same class in first grade.

I agree with Jori. There is no "cookie cutter" answer to the separate/not separate question.

 

Mine were in one class since they were 2 years old. By 3, they were ready to kill each other. We had to switch schools to one that could accommodate 2 separate classes for the same age. We did! We found The Grove School in Cary, and they were 3-1/2 when we made the switch, and they are doing GREAT! They don't fight nearly as often at home (not physically at least), and they LOVE LOVE LOVE that they have their own friends in their own classrooms with their own space and their own teachers. They got plenty to talk about at home and they seem to enjoy playing more with each other now. I'm SOO glad I did the move. I'd have liked to have separated them a little earlier even, but it wasn't possible at the time.

Just wanted to add, we had intended on separating them at around 1st grade, Then we figured Kindergarten was best, but once they showed signs they were ready during preschool, it was obvious they needed their space. For us, it was necessary early. Overall, I do agree that it's best to separate twins, but it also depends on their relationship. If being together stops them from socializing with other kids, they need to learn independence from each other and therefore, separated unless it causes extreme stress between them. If your kids are fine together or apart, then apart will be just fine, but if it's easier for you, together is fine. Most schools like to separate, because kids tend to thrive more when they don't have their sibling around all the time. Confidence levels go up, their strengths shine through, and they gain a self of self and not the other one's brother or sister. It's better for the teachers, because they can't help but compare siblings (like if one is doing this, why can't the other?). Basically, it puts pressure on one sibling because if the other behaves differently or has different strengths, teachers may treat the sibling differently depending on the other sibling. It's not fair to be grouped together like that and have expectations that are unreasonable.

 

everyone needs to find what works for their family. mine will have a third year of preschool together (only one class, but it's also just 3 hours/day) and probably together their first year of kinder, because it will be a major transition for them (new school, full day class, etc). no matter what, though, i will separate them in first. i taught first grade for 15 years and never saw a good situation w/twins in the same room. they need the space and separation from each other, and a chance to defelop at indiviuals. just mho!

jl

 

I think it was smart of you to ask their teacher what she thought. I asked the girls' preschool teacher and she said to keep them together. They have done wonderfully together. But, if she would have said to separate, we would have done so. Teachers have a lot of insight on how kids might do going ahead. They are with them for several hours out of the day and see them interact, both with each other and with other kids. I think taking her suggestion might be a good idea. But, as others said, there is no cookie cutter. You have to do what is right for your kids.

 

I did it for Grade3 and actually think they wanted it in Grade 2 but I wasn't ready. Its nice at end of day to hear their seperate stories instead of them fighting to tell the same one.

 

Mine have been together in prek and k and both of their teachers said there was no issue them being together or separate so we kept the girls together. Their teacher at the last conference that they never fight. We will be allowing the school to choose where they are going next year. They are really good at placing the kids where they need to be.

 

I put my girls in separate kindergarten classes and it has gone wonderfully. The biggest reason we went that way was they were at different academic levels and I didn't want them compared by the teacher. They go to a school that has 9 kindi classes, so I did request that they be in classes that would have the same lunch/recess period, and I did that once again for next year (first grade).

Prior to that they were in the same preschool class all along, except for an 8 month period where one was potty trained and the other was not.

Our school would put them together if we wanted, but recommended separating them. There are quite a few sets of twins in our school and I know of none of them who are together in the same class. One of my DDs is one of 3 twins in her class!

Oh, and we have the same exact homework, despite being in different classes.

ETA: They get along much better being separated during the day, but I think they usually play together with a group of other children at recess.

 

I kept mine in the same class for kindergarten but am planning to separate them next year for 1st. They wanted to be together, their preschool teachers thought it would be fine, and the school district left it entirely up to us. I figured going to K was enough of a transition, and it would be easier for them to be together.

It has been easier on me as well -- and I know that's not supposed to factor into it because it should be all about what's best for them, but it's not a bad thing to make my life a little simpler too.

There are 6 sets of twins in their kindergarten year (split among 4 classes) -- about half are together and half are split.

They actually want to be together next year as well, but I think it's time for them to grow individually. I worry about the teacher comparing them. And most of all, I hope they won't fight as much when they're not together all the time.

 

I've done a lot of research on this and it really depends on the kids, but from what I've read in many cases it's best to wait till they ask to be split up unless they are really co-dependent or competitive and distract each other. With my boys' personalities, since one is more dominant I'd started to think it would be best to separate them as soon as possible. However, they started preschool in January (right after they turned 3) and there is only one class per age group at their school. And so far, they are doing great in the same class! They don't really bug each other and they are each flourishing. So I think I'll keep them together until they ask to be separated unless a good reason comes up to split them earlier.