Pushing buttons...as in yours!

:gah: I'm gonna pull my hair out!! When does this phase get better bc I know it never ends!! I tell them "don't climb on the coffee table" or whatever...they look at me and do it anyways. So I do the good ole "get down or you get a TO" they look at me with their big blue eyes and I swear they smirk at me. Of course they stay up there...so "1........2........" Sometimes we get to 3 and they get a TO other times they get down. Anyways....EVERYTHING I say No to turns into this game and of course with twins x2! I tell one No the other has to come try it out like maybe the rule doesn't apply to him. I'm going nuts and I'm sure its bc I'm sleep deprived with Hannah and of course it worse when I'm feeding her (DH got to experience this last night as I left all 3 with him to go to drs) I feel like I yell all day and then I feel guilty for disciplining them bc I know they aren't getting all of my attention bc of baby. DH even said yesterday "Now I know why you say you feel like you yell at them all day"
I know its not going to end...just when does EVERYTHING stop becoming such a test of the "who is most stubborn" :crazy:

Also regarding TO. We did sit them on the couch but that has become a game too. I used to be able to sit with them if they wouldn't sit themselves but now with Hannah I can't always do that. Are they old enough to buy a little stool for? I don't want to use cribs bc I don't want them to think cribs are a bad place...plus they would probably just jump around in there and have a ball anyways! I don't have a packnplay and I don't want to buy one.

Thanks so much! I love this site bc it lets me know I'm not alone on the Looney Farm

 

This is the age where they are going to try to see what they can get away with, especially when they know you are busy with the baby :hug: The best I can tell you is be consistent (no matter how tiring it gets...I know I have days where I feel like I can put the same 5 or 6 sentences on repeat because I feel like that's all I say all day), try to keep your emotions in check so that they can see that they are not bugging you as much as they really are (I struggle with this...but it does work when I do it right).
With regards to the TO, I don't think they are too young for the chair and I would set a timer, so they know when to get off the chair and you know when time is up. You can also try putting a blanket in a corner too as a TO spot.
Good luck!

 

I'll just ditto Nancy. I personally don't do TO quite yet, it just doesn't work for us yet, but lots of redirection and distraction helps. It doesn't always work, but it helps. Mine like to bounce on the couches (I've given up on that, they have fallen a few times and are now more careful about getting too close to the edge), like to stand on my soft ottoman (this I try to stop cause it's usually on the hardwood flooring), and have recently started climbing on our little tikes table and trying to stand on it. It's never ending.....

 

I agree with what the pps said. The only extra thing I have to add is that phrasing instructions as a positive rather than a negative really helps. So instead of "don't climb on the coffee table" try "feet on the floor, please". I find that my lot respond better to can-do instructions, and I don't feel like I'm doing nothing but telling them off all day.

I definetly found 16-22 months to be the most trying age with twins, I can't even imagine doing it with a new baby. :bow2:

 

Boy am I glad I opened this thread! I feel the same way. I thought the first year was tough but I swear that the second they turned 1 they became little hell raisers! They get into EVERYTHING and are constantly trying to push the boundaries of what they can get away with and they are strong too and kick me while I change their diaper or their clothes and are grab happy with jars of food and just fling it to the wall or all over me. I feel like all I do all day long is say "NO!" and I hate it. I feel like they are going to remember this and grow up resenting me or something.

It's gotten so bad that my poor Alex has gotten super sensitive all of a sudden and when I say "NO" for banging on the t.v., ripping my glasses off my face, smacking me, pulling on wires, climbing things, he starts crying hysterically and I end up feeling like crap and pick him up and try and console him, make him smile and laugh to make sure he's not mad at me. I know that's counter productive and sending mixed signals but I just feel so terrible when I am the one to make them cry.

I thought that turning 1 was going to be fun but so far it's extremely frustrating and draining!

 

I made a deal that we would only use the word "No" for extremely serious offenses, so they'd know to take it seriously. We did/do like the PP said, and told them what we wanted them to do instead of saying "No, don't do whatever", and used tons of redirection.

For example, mind would stand up on the coffee table. I'd say, "We don't stand on the table. I want you to sit on the table. If you don't sit down, you'll have to go play somewhere else." They did learn to sit on the coffee table, and still do so today. As you can see, I'm not really strict and I allow things like sitting down on the table and have removed everything possible that could be an issue, so they basically have the run of the house, safely. The ONE cord I couldn't remove is a "No" offense, and of course the dangerous things in the kitchen.

I see it as a teaching opportunity, so I state what is not allowed (without using "no"), tell them what I want them to do, and then tell them what will happen if they don't do it (get removed to a new location, Time Out, etc.) and then immediately do what I said I was going to do. Staying unemotional is key, but hard. I also praise praise praise them when they're doing the right thing, which is hard to remember to do, but extremely effective. We give a lot of high-fives for random, small, nice behaviors. I think they kind of catch on that they get the big responses and attention from me when they're doing the right thing, and a dead-pan, boring one when they mis-behave.

I do time-outs on my lap in a quiet location and we talk about what happened, and I give them a hug, tell them I forgive them and love them, and get them giggling before we get up. To me, mine are not ready for solo time outs yet.

 

I haven't done a lot of TOs, because like your guys, mine think it's just a game. They have taken to climbing up on the coffee table, but if I take them down or yell, they just think it's funny! :gah: Telling them "no" or "get down" doesn't work because they just get back up again, and they totally egg each other on. <_< I recently started telling them to go do something else, and it's working! A few days ago they got up on the coffee table, and I told them, "we don't climb on the coffee table; go show me how you can bounce on your chairs" and they did it!

Good luck, and I hope you find something that works for you. I can't imagine having to deal with these toddler shenanigans AND a baby! :woman: