Pull-up vs underwear 1st day preschool

My boys start preschool next Tuesday..two days a week for about six hours each day. They just turned 4 two weeks ago. My one son is partially potty trained. But the other one still wants absolutely nothing to do with it despite ALL of my exhaustive efforts! The school is aware of their PT status and is willing to work with them on it. The one teacher suggested sending them in underwear on the first day. I know, for sure, that at least my one son will have multiple accidents possibly on his first day! I feel so bad for him and worry this might make his first day even harder. He is pretty reserved so this day is gonna be tough as it is! On the flip side...maybe this is the incentive he might need to just do it. I know he can. I just feel like he is being extremely stubborn! So what do I do? Send him in the underwear or put on a pull-up and just explain to him that this is only until he gets used to his new class. Thanks for your help!

 

If they teachers are suggesting underwear, then I might go ahead and give that a try for a few days. But, first I would ask what their process would be when or if he has an accident, how will they handle it? What will they say and do?
I honestly believe if kids aren't ready and are fighting it, just to drop it for a good few weeks or a month (don't mention it at all), and most kids will come around to want to do it when the pressure is off. Just another view.

 

Seeing all the other kids go to the bathroom should help. You could try underwear and bring a few changes of clothes with you and see how it goes.

 

I agree. I also think that the teachers will expect him to have accidents and if they are suggesting it and willing to work with him, I'd send him in underwear with changes of clothes. I would also prepare him beforehand, telling him he's a big boy now and he's going to wear big boy underwear and his teachers will be so happy to help him out. Good luck!

 

Having accidents is a good thing! They need to know what that sensation is. I agree with PP's, I would send them in undies. Bring a few changes of clothes and they'll be fine. Relax, as someone else is going to worry about it for the day. I was nervous about sending my girls to school in undies, but it's been four weeks and only 1 has had 1 accident - they do much better in public places sometimes. Good luck!

 

I agree with everyone - send them both in underwear with multiple changes of clothes. And talk to the teachers before hand so you can tell your son what he should do if he has an accident (which teacher to notify, does he help clean up, will the teacher wipe him down, where will he change his clothes). Knowing in advance the procedure might help with his shyness.

 

I'm going to be the dissenter and say send him in a pull-up -- or at least let him bring a pull-up. You say he's pretty reserved, and he's old enough to be embarrassed by having multiple accidents. Maybe having accidents in school will be the push he needs to get PTd, but it's also likely that it could traumatize him so much that he wants even less to do with it (and also affect his feelings about preschool in general).

I got burned by having a teacher suggest that I send Sarah to school in underwear (though she was only 2.5 at the time) because she had been doing a pretty good job keeping her diaper dry. She had 6 accidents that day and then wanted nothing to do with underwear until she was over 3. I didn't actually care when she PTd, but felt awful for her that she had been put through that.

Getting used to a new preschool is hard enough, especially for a shy kid, without having to worry about peeing his pants in front of everyone too. JMO.

 

I agree with Minette on this one, it's his first day, he's reserved, he might be too shy to ask for the bathrooms, 4 year old boys can be surprisingly cruel, even at that age, I would send him in pull ups, let him adjust to preschool the first week or so, and then move on to bathroom issues.

I am debating the same issue with my DD who will be starting daycare as well, she is only 2.5 and I know that it might mean loosing her being pt'd but I think you need to worry about your son's feelings first.