Providing a "Routine" for daycare

My boys have been in daycare since I returned to work full time at 9 wks pp. I'd LOVE to stay at home with them, but it's just not an option. Luckily, they only go 11 days a month & only for short days while I sleep after working night shift. I'm primarily home with them during the days & have gotten ourselves into a 'routine'. It still varies day to day, but for the most part, stays pretty consistent. Unfortunately, at daycare (or sometimes even when my hubby is watching them), they seem to get all off whack & then that throws off our evenings entirely & usually leaves us with overtired, crabby babies. I typed up our "routine" as a time line for daycare & a lot of my coworkers are teasing me for being OCD, controlling, & over the top. None of them have twins & realize how important some sort of structure is. Without it, I can't leave the house or get anything done at home! Plus, I think it's better for the boys. I'm sure daycare will talk about me behind my back as being "that" mom, but I really need them to try harder to work with what I've worked so hard to achieve.

Is it bad of me to type up something for them to keep there as a reference? I don't want to come across tooooo pushy! Do any of you have other tips or experiences with similar circumstances?

 

I don't think you're being OCD at all! Sometimes I've considered typing up our (very flexible) daily routine for my DH. (He's wonderful with the babies and takes care of them a lot, but always forgets things like how long they can be awake before going down for a nap.)

You're right, it is SO important for babies to get the naps they need when they need them during the day, and I think it's great that you're giving the day care some guidelines. You know your babies better than anyone - you know when they need to nap etc.

I don't think it's even a twins thing. Even if I only had one baby, I would be a total mama bear about protecting those naps! I think the only difference with a singleton is that the consequences are a little less dire if the baby gets overtired (only one fussy baby to manage, not two) - the sleep is just as important.

Anyway, if anybody makes comments or gives you "the look," try to just let it go in one ear out the other - you're the one paying these people, after all.

 

When my girls were in daycare I talked to the teachers about their schedule and they tried to keep as close to it as possible. They absolutely kept to the feeding schedule, but naps were a little all over the place (but they were there when they were only 4-6 months old).

Now with our new sitter, I typed out a schedule of our entire day for her even though she only watches them in the afternoon (3 days a week). I wanted her to get a sense of what we do at home and also if I say "they napped well this morning" she knows approximately what time that happened and can plan the afternoon nap accordingly.

Maybe its OCD, but I don't care because it makes it easier on me (and for her too, I think) to know what they are doing and when. Of course its flexible and the girls are still getting used to napping over there so its a work in progress. GL!

 

People accuse me of being controlling too ... my Mom, my husband ... but I stay home with the girls 24/7 and my life is barely manageable as it is! Much less if the girls don't nap ... it throws us off for days! I hate that I am this way b/c we can never go out of town or anything w/o it being more stressful than fun for me ... but I figure when they are older and less likely to go into a tailspin if they miss one nap ... that will be the time for more outings and vacations.

I don't think you are being OCD at all. I don't know if I would be as controlling with just one baby or not. I do know that people who don't have twins just will never understand!

I would do the same thing in your shoes! You know, the daycare workers will probably commend you for caring so much!

 

I understand where you are coming from, but that might be too much to expect from a traditional day care setting. They have other children to take care of. What would happen if every parent sent in a "set" schedule they wanted followed for their kid? I don't want you to get mad, just understand what the providers would be facing. If it was a private sitter than it would be great. I would always try to get the people who were watching the twins to stick to my schedule, but MIL did what she wanted. I can't blame her, but it made my evenings a little tougher. Eventually it is good for the kids to understand that everbody does things differently. That way they can cope with changes a little easier.

By the way, I don't think it is OCD, it is just a mom trying to cope.

 

My kids aren't daycare kids, but I have a schedule posted up on our fridge for anyone who come over. My MIL wathces them 2 afternoons a week, and without that she would feed them anytime they fussed (3 times in 2 hours once) and not put them down for naps. DH teases me for being anal, but after spending a few days home alone with the twins was grateful that he had a schedule to follow. It just works nice b/c no matter who comes over they know what the babies should be doing at any given time. I think it's a twin mom thing, organization is the key!!

 

When I started my son in daycare they asked me to type out his schedule and normal routine. It helped them to understand what he was used to doing in terms of feeding and naps. I would hope that your daycare would look at it the same way - as a help to them, especially since they only go part time. That way they aren't getting frustrated that they put your babies down for a nap and they won't sleep because they aren't used to getting a nap at that time, or vice versa - aren't trying to figure out why your babies are so cranky because they don't know that is a normal nap time for them. So as long as you stay flexible to the idea that they won't always be able to follow your instructions to a T, I think giving them your children's normal routine is a great idea.

 

I totally agree with you. The boys should have a similar routine at daycare and at home. Have you talked to the daycare to see what their routine with babies is to see if yours will be doable for them? If they are completely contradictory, you may want to tweak yours a bit to make it line up with theirs a little more. That's a great idea to let them know what your boys are used to.

 

QUOTE(nurseandrea02 @ Jan 30 2008, 04:40 AM) [snapback]596553[/snapback]
My boys have been in daycare since I returned to work full time at 9 wks pp. I'd LOVE to stay at home with them, but it's just not an option. Luckily, they only go 11 days a month & only for short days while I sleep after working night shift. I'm primarily home with them during the days & have gotten ourselves into a 'routine'. It still varies day to day, but for the most part, stays pretty consistent. Unfortunately, at daycare (or sometimes even when my hubby is watching them), they seem to get all off whack & then that throws off our evenings entirely & usually leaves us with overtired, crabby babies. I typed up our "routine" as a time line for daycare & a lot of my coworkers are teasing me for being OCD, controlling, & over the top. None of them have twins & realize how important some sort of structure is. Without it, I can't leave the house or get anything done at home! Plus, I think it's better for the boys. I'm sure daycare will talk about me behind my back as being "that" mom, but I really need them to try harder to work with what I've worked so hard to achieve.

Is it bad of me to type up something for them to keep there as a reference? I don't want to come across tooooo pushy! Do any of you have other tips or experiences with similar circumstances?



It would be interesting to see your list +D

 

I typed up the whole day so we can have a reference at home too. I hand wrote on there an explanation that I understand this may vary day to day (toda we're way off....teething & sick), but to use it as a guide. For example, last week they didn't put Aiden down for his morning nap til 10am (4 hrs after his wake up that day) b/c they said he didn't appear tired & his whole day (and night) were shot! I wish mine could go longer than 2.5 hrs in between naps, but they never seem to be able to happily or without consequence later in the day!

Here is what I'm giving them (they're usually at daycare for the 1st bottle thru the 3rd nap):


~Wake up~
*Usually 6-6:30am
~1st bottle~
*4-6oz; usually by 7:30am
~1st nap~
*1½ -2 hrs after wake up; usually 45 mins, NO LATER than 9am
~”Breakfast”~
*Within 15 mins of waking from 1st nap
*Rice cereal, split Stage 2 Fruit/Veggie, Puffs, Sips water
*Conner doesn’t like Puffs yet & either may take more baby food if still hungry
~2nd bottle~
*5-8oz; 3-4 hrs after 1st bottle; typically right before nap
~2nd nap~
*2-2½ hrs after wake up from 1st nap; usually 45-90 mins
~”Snack”~
*Puffs, Sips water (not really all that interested in this yet)
*SKIP if wake up from 2nd nap runs close to next bottle
~3rd bottle~
*5-8oz; 3-4 hrs after 2nd bottle
*Occasionally down for 3rd nap prior to this bottle if 2nd nap short
~3rd nap~
*2-2½ hrs after wake up from 2nd nap; usually 45 mins
*May take bottle after wake up if not before nap
~”Dinner”~
*Split Stage 2 Veggies, Puffs, Sips water
*Only give if 3rd bottle given before 3rd nap; NO LATER than 4:30pm
~4th nap~
*If needed, when 2nd nap is short
*If not already awake, wake up by 5:30-5:45pm
~Bedtime Routine~
*Baths, books, snuggle time
*Start by 6pm
~4th bottle~
*4-8oz; usually by 6:30pm
~Bedtime~
*Between 6:30-7pm

 

I don't think it is pushy at all as long as you provide it to them with the right attitude. As in, this should help you get acquainted with the babies, this is how I do things at home and it works well for them, etc. I agree with a pp that they probably won't be able to follow it exactly every day, but it can serve as the framework and goal for their care. When you think about it, you do this routine because you know it works best for them and it makes them happy and healthy. And I imagine day care wants them to be happy and healthy while in their care too. I mean, who wants to deal with cranky and tired babies if they don't have to!

 

I agree with Michelle here. I have worked the infant room in a daycare, and consistancy is key there as well, but it may not be your schedule. Especially since your kids are only there a few days a month, it would be very difficult for them to adapt the day for the rest of the group for yours. I would do the opposite, and ask the daycare for their schedule, and then try to duplicate it at home, that way you have consistancy that will work for everyone.

 

It's not bad to try, but what I found was that daycare would do their own thing anyway. They did try to follow my guidelines, but particularly with naps, sometimes they just couldn't. For instance, even after we did CIO (at 5 months), they were not allowed to let a child cry. And even if they were allowed to, they couldn't, because she would wake up all the other babies. So my babies got rocked to sleep at school but not at home, which did make naps harder. OTOH, it didn't do any harm in the long run.

And they did try to feed every 3 hours, as I requested. But I brought in extra bottles in case they had to feed more often. I didn't want my baby screaming for half an hour because I wouldn't "let" them feed her any sooner, but they had 6 other kids to take care of and couldn't just hold my hungry baby and try to distract her till it was time for a bottle.

Eventually I realized that following daycare's schedule was easier than trying to make them follow mine. I did insist on nap structure on the weekends, but stopped stressing about it if they took terrible naps at daycare. And I followed their lead for starting solids, when to feed meals & snacks, etc. -- it was actually rather nice to not have to make all those decisions myself!

But, mine were in daycare 40 hours a week. If yours are only there 11 days a month, you may just have to let it roll with whatever happens on those days.

 

Our infant room doesn't have a "schedule". They go by the parents/kids' cues. I'm going to talk to them more tomorrow, since I haven't been there the past 2 days. They've been closed due to bad weather, which has been oh so grand for me...staying awake 26 hrs or so at a time! I will find out what their thoughts are on what works best for them at daycare & see if I can find a happy medium between the 2. For the most part, they're very good about trying to work with our routine. I'm not super strict with it, nor do I expect them to be & I tell them that. They've got 4-6 other babies to care for, whereas I only have 2, so I understand if mine have to wait to get put down for a nap or whatever. I just don't want it to be 2 hrs late! They also weren't giving the 2nd bottle & were just letting them fall asleep where they fell asleep (ie if they fussed themselves to sleep on the floor while they were busy with other babies) & then they weren't getting enough in during the day. At home, as soon as they get fussy for that nap, I give them a bottle & then they also sleep a little longer. But today the 3rd bottle was only 4 oz because we did solids early since they only did 3 naps & didn't get a snack. So it's not like this routine is set in stone at home either! I also know my boys don't eat as well at daycare, nor do they nap as well (rightfully so, it's super noisy there), so I can't expect this 'routine' to be followed there as easily at home.

Thanks for all the tips!

(I've also worked in an infant room when I was in college & we had no schedule for the room.....went by the parents' schedules. Obviously, when they get schedules in the older rooms, I'll most likely conform to theirs....hopefully it'll work for us too!)

 

I used to work in a daycare (now a twin nanny) and we had 1 mom that was very strict w/ her childs routine-wrote it up for us many times. she eats at very specified times, and exactly what to feed and in what order. all i can tell u is that we DEFINITELY talked about how crazy she was!!!! mostly because the day care had its own schedule for the kids activities, set snack, lunch, and nap times (well when they got a little older)
OK Now that im remembering ...when we got infants a lot of moms would give us their schedules so we knew when they got cereal for ex. NOW that i am watching twins i TOTALLY UNDERSTAND! it is so hard to get them out of the house if they r off schedule! and especially with 2 i think you should definetly 'request' that they please at least TRY to stick to ur schedule as best they can.

 

I worked in an infant center before I had kids (a long long time ago). We had 22 babies ages 6 weeks to two years with 6 of us working in there. This was a full time daycare situation for most of the babies, meaning we had them for about 8-10 hours a day Monday through Friday. We would ask a new parent to make a estimated schedule when the first came into the room so that we knew what the baby was used to. But we also let the parents know that having 22 babies in the room, we had to try and assimilate the babies into our schedule. We basically had two schedules, one for babies under a year, and one schedule for babies that were over a year.

We tried to go by our schedule each day because routine was key to making the room work.

I can understand you giving a general routine as a suggestion and hopefully the daycare providers can use it as a tool to help understand the needs of your babies. But, on the other hand, they may have their routine as well that works for the room that all the babies are in.

I think there is agreement here that a routine is key for happy babies, but consideration may be needed for the routine of the daycare as well. This is just my two cents....

Sam

 

My only schedule is naps at 10a and 2p. I work nights as well but only on weekends. So my babies are with DH on Sundays. The rest of the week they are with me. I work Sunday night and want to nap at some point on Monday. So I need them both to lie down at the same time.

I think what others have said about perhaps adjusting yours a bit more to daycare may work better then trying to get them to adjust to yours. It depends on how many kids they have. If it was a private home with your babies as the only ones, I would be more hard pressed for the provider to follow the schedule I set.

 

QUOTE(nurseandrea02 @ Jan 30 2008, 06:00 PM) [snapback]597702[/snapback]
I typed up the whole day so we can have a reference at home too. I hand wrote on there an explanation that I understand this may vary day to day (toda we're way off....teething & sick), but to use it as a guide. For example, last week they didn't put Aiden down for his morning nap til 10am (4 hrs after his wake up that day) b/c they said he didn't appear tired & his whole day (and night) were shot! I wish mine could go longer than 2.5 hrs in between naps, but they never seem to be able to happily or without consequence later in the day!

Here is what I'm giving them (they're usually at daycare for the 1st bottle thru the 3rd nap):
~Wake up~
*Usually 6-6:30am
~1st bottle~
*4-6oz; usually by 7:30am
~1st nap~
*1½ -2 hrs after wake up; usually 45 mins, NO LATER than 9am
~”Breakfast”~
*Within 15 mins of waking from 1st nap
*Rice cereal, split Stage 2 Fruit/Veggie, Puffs, Sips water
*Conner doesn’t like Puffs yet & either may take more baby food if still hungry
~2nd bottle~
*5-8oz; 3-4 hrs after 1st bottle; typically right before nap
~2nd nap~
*2-2½ hrs after wake up from 1st nap; usually 45-90 mins
~”Snack”~
*Puffs, Sips water (not really all that interested in this yet)
*SKIP if wake up from 2nd nap runs close to next bottle
~3rd bottle~
*5-8oz; 3-4 hrs after 2nd bottle
*Occasionally down for 3rd nap prior to this bottle if 2nd nap short
~3rd nap~
*2-2½ hrs after wake up from 2nd nap; usually 45 mins
*May take bottle after wake up if not before nap
~”Dinner”~
*Split Stage 2 Veggies, Puffs, Sips water
*Only give if 3rd bottle given before 3rd nap; NO LATER than 4:30pm
~4th nap~
*If needed, when 2nd nap is short
*If not already awake, wake up by 5:30-5:45pm
~Bedtime Routine~
*Baths, books, snuggle time
*Start by 6pm
~4th bottle~
*4-8oz; usually by 6:30pm
~Bedtime~
*Between 6:30-7pm




All I can add to this is I am JEALOUS you get 3 or 4 naps. Just this week we dropped down to 2 naps and things have been crazy here!