Problem with girlfriends/recess etc

It has been a REALLY long time since I posted in here.

Our girls are 6 years old and are in grade 1. They are in separate classes but share all the same recesses. They always hang out at recess with one or two other girls but mainly just one girl. This girl (R) is in my N's class and seems to get along with N better than H. I am okay with this because N and H are two different people but it seems to be making H sad because she sometimes feels left out. I am trying to encourage her to play with other girls and remind her that she doesn't have to play with N every recess.

We have even had playdates with R and there has always been some sort of drama because one girl gets left out.

Has anyone had this happen? What do you do when one child feels like the "third wheel"? Do you keep encouraging them to make other friends?

 

:hugs: no suggestions I know it's hard. We haven't had this issue. Both girls have friends and sometimes don't even see each other at recess. Friends at this age are very fickle any ways

 

You might encourage her to have playdates with some of the girls from her own class. Maybe it would help her to bond with some of them if she spent some time with them away from school. Even with my 2 being a boy & a girl, I have found that if one has a friend over, it is much easier to have a friend over for the other one, too, or send one to a friend's house to play. If she became closer to some of the girls in her own class, it would probably solve the recess issue.

 

I agree to try to have playdates with a girl (or boy) from each class to help balance the dynamics.

My girls have one mutual friend that they adore and the 3 of them really get along....but at the same time the dynamic is not the same when they are with another friend. My girls are in the same class--- so it is not a 'your in my class' concern, but more of a personality match.

I try to meet up with other parents to make playdates. We also try to get involved in a few things (Girl Scouts, swim,etc) so that my girls have more opportunities to make new friends outside of school as well.


It is hard at 5/6/7/8. The kids can have such recess drama!

 

I'm dealing with this exact same thing right now. In fact, I just sent an email to the teachers asking for guidance on how to handle it at home, and asking them to help at school. So my advice is: ask the teachers to help!

 

I was also going to say to ask the teacher! This is common in 1st grade, even among singletons! The teacher can role play and match up friends in the class, so she can bond with some kids in her own class.

 

Thank you everyone. It seemed to be okay for a week or so but then H brought it up again last night saying that her sister and her friend didn't want to play with her some recesses. H even mentioned being alone some recesses ( my heart melted). I am not sure if it happens often or just once or twice. Regardless, we tried to remind N that H is her sister and if she sees H alone she should make a point of playing with her.

One of the problem is that H doesn't have a lot of grade 1 girls in her class (only 2 others and 1 she doesn't get along with).

I think the recommendations of talking to the teacher is a great idea. I think I am going to plan a playdate with one of the other girls from H's class to see if this helps.

*Sigh*