Private curiosity...

So in this other forum that I am a part of this girl, said that her son (approx age 2) said that he always touches himself and she doesn't know what to do. This other girl replied and said that her daughter is 2.5 years old and tries to touch herself all the time, and she tells her daughter it is ok but do it in the privacy of your own bedroom.

This is just really weird to me. I don't want my kids touching themselves for pleasure when they are toddlers! They really shouldn't even know what masturbation is!!! Am I the only one freaking out about this? I told this girl "I am sure that my children will touch themselves later down the road, like much later, like when they are pre-teens or teenagers, surly not toddlers". Am I being unrealistic? I think it is disturbing to think that someone is going to tell their two year old child "eh go pleasure yourself in the privacy of your bedroom". I never was told about masturbation!

What are your thoughts on this??

 

Yes, you are being unrealistic. They will touch themselves. They will explore and have no idea why they shouldnt be doing it. If you make a big deal about it, they will be even more curious IMO. My 2 year olds dont do it, but they wear diapers all day. When their diapers are off their hands go right to their penis. They are just naturally curious. As for my older DD, I would say around 3 when she started wearing underwear, if she was bored she would "explore" while watching a show. If I saw her, I would just tell her to take her hand out of her pants. Plain and simple and in a normal tone. I was trying to teach her that we really dont do that without making her even more curious. She doesnt do it anymore.

 

Honestly...

All 6 of my kids did it. They don't realize that some people view it as bad, they just know that touching that area feels good. I think it's natural and normal. And I think that making a big deal of it could be a bad thing later in life. I always told my kids to do that in private.

 

Mine have done that out of curiosity more then anything else. Especially since we bathe them together and they can tell that they have some parts different. Like Rachel and Donita, if you don't freak out and just stress that is something that is done privately it will most likely lose it's allure for the time being.

 

Oh geez, I am always telling Alice to take her hand out of her diaper or go to their bedroom. And I know she's masturbating. Like a PP said, it feels good, not sexual though. They're not doing it for jollies, just natural curiousity.

And the second Royce goes into the bathtub, one hand is around his penis, the other one around toys.

 

QUOTE(DATJMom @ May 7 2009, 06:41 AM) [snapback]1303930[/snapback]
My 2 year olds dont do it, but they wear diapers all day. When their diapers are off their hands go right to their penis. They are just naturally curious. As for my older DD, I would say around 3 when she started wearing underwear, if she was bored she would "explore" while watching a show.


ITA. My girls are in diapers all day but sometimes when they are on the change table from the tub they will grab themselves down there and I don't say anything. It looks painful to me, but hey, it's her body part!

 

QUOTE(DATJMom @ May 7 2009, 07:41 AM) [snapback]1303930[/snapback]
Yes, you are being unrealistic. They will touch themselves. They will explore and have no idea why they shouldnt be doing it. If you make a big deal about it, they will be even more curious IMO.


:good: I agree, it's all about exploring. It's not about sex or anything like that with them, they just enjoy how it feels. I think it would be worse to stop them and make them feel like it's not okay rather then let them do it and just tell them it's only done in privacy.

 

Yup, completely unrealistic. This is what kids do. They explore new things. I think making a big deal out of NOT doing it will just push them to find out why mommy is SO upset that they are touching down there.

 

Like everyone said, it's normal.

 

QUOTE(becasquared @ May 7 2009, 07:59 AM) [snapback]1303961[/snapback]
And the second Royce goes into the bathtub, one hand is around his penis, the other one around toys.

:rotflmbo: My boys do this too!

QUOTE(TwinLove @ May 7 2009, 08:46 AM) [snapback]1304011[/snapback]
:good: I agree, it's all about exploring. It's not about sex or anything like that with them, they just enjoy how it feels. I think it would be worse to stop them and make them feel like it's not okay rather then let them do it and just tell them it's only done in privacy.

I couldn't have said it better myself!

 

I agree with everyone else. Its totally normal and not sexual.

 

Well I agree that it is normal to discover yourself, however I still don't think it is right for a two year old to be playing down there for mins upon mins. To me it is still weird.

 

I agree it's strange, but it's all part of their exploring process. As PPs stated, if you tell them not to do it, but not over react I think that it will eventually stop. Same goes for the picking of the nose. I think that's totally gross. If you don't make a big deal out of it, it won't get out of hand.

 

I will never forget when I walked into the family room at my moms house where my nephew was watching tv (I think he was 3) and he was holding his penis and said, "Look, it is as big as a building!"

 

QUOTE(seamusnicholas @ May 7 2009, 10:32 AM) [snapback]1304236[/snapback]
I will never forget when I walked into the family room at my moms house where my nephew was watching tv (I think he was 3) and he was holding his penis and said, "Look, it is as big as a building!"


LoL!!

 

QUOTE
Well I agree that it is normal to discover yourself, however I still don't think it is right for a two year old to be playing down there for mins upon mins. To me it is still weird. sad.gif


To be honest, this isn't about right and wrong. They're two year olds... they pick their noses, touch themselves and will think nothing of grabbing their mother's boob in public and yanking on it to get her attention. They're children. The right and wrong of it all clearly lies with the adult... you see it as "bad" because OMG teens and adults do "that" when they want to feel good.. and they use their imagination while they do "it." These are BABIES... try looking at it that way instead.

 

Well I think when they start touching themselves then I'll say "Please keep your hands out of your pants". Is that over reacting? Will that cause harm later down the road? I understand they are curious, and that they want to know what that part is on their body. Which I am fine with questions, and the occassional touch, when I say this I mean for maybe three seconds. But for them to be touching themselves minutes upon minutes saying "it feels good", that is just weird to me, and I think that is where I need to draw the line, and save that for when they are older and know that it is a private act!

 

QUOTE(Melissatwins84 @ May 7 2009, 11:54 AM) [snapback]1304268[/snapback]
Well I think when they start touching themselves then I'll say "Please keep your hands out of your pants". Is that over reacting? Will that cause harm later down the road? I understand they are curious, and that they want to know what that part is on their body. Which I am fine with questions, and the occassional touch, when I say this I mean for maybe three seconds. But for them to be touching themselves minutes upon minutes saying "it feels good", that is just weird to me, and I think that is where I need to draw the line, and save that for when they are older and know that it is a private act!


Pretty much, I just say, "get your hand out of your diaper please" and leave it at that. I don't raise my voice, I don't really show any emotion about it. . .just a simple "don't do that". If they don't stop, I tell them again, same thing, no emotion, no nothing.

 

QUOTE(Anne-J @ May 7 2009, 10:51 AM) [snapback]1304264[/snapback]
To be honest, this isn't about right and wrong. They're two year olds... they pick their noses, touch themselves and will think nothing of grabbing their mother's boob in public and yanking on it to get her attention. They're children. The right and wrong of it all clearly lies with the adult... you see it as "bad" because OMG teens and adults do "that" when they want to feel good.. and they use their imagination while they do "it." These are BABIES... try looking at it that way instead.


I totally understand they don't know about the sexuality of it yet, but I don't think it is appropriate IMO for someone to say "do it in your bedroom" why can't you just say "please take your hands out of your pants" just as you would with "Please take your finger out of your nose and get a Kleenex"?

 

QUOTE(becasquared @ May 7 2009, 10:55 AM) [snapback]1304271[/snapback]
Pretty much, I just say, "get your hand out of your diaper please" and leave it at that. I don't raise my voice, I don't really show any emotion about it. . .just a simple "don't do that". If they don't stop, I tell them again, same thing, no emotion, no nothing.


I agree to this, I wasn't going to yell at them and say "you are going to go blind if you touch that"... I just don't want them to touch themselves for pleasure 'because it tickles' when they are this young.

 

QUOTE(Melissatwins84 @ May 7 2009, 11:57 AM) [snapback]1304275[/snapback]
I agree to this, I wasn't going to yell at them and say "you are going to go blind if you touch that"... I just don't want them to touch themselves for pleasure 'because it tickles' when they are this young.


or even better, tell them that their hands will get hairy if they continue. They won't necessarily understand, but you can get a good laugh out of it.

 

QUOTE(caba @ May 7 2009, 05:36 AM) [snapback]1304065[/snapback]
Yup, completely unrealistic. This is what kids do. They explore new things. I think making a big deal out of NOT doing it will just push them to find out why mommy is SO upset that they are touching down there.

ITA!

QUOTE(seamusnicholas @ May 7 2009, 07:32 AM) [snapback]1304236[/snapback]
I will never forget when I walked into the family room at my moms house where my nephew was watching tv (I think he was 3) and he was holding his penis and said, "Look, it is as big as a building!"

:rotflmbo:

 

QUOTE(caba @ May 7 2009, 06:36 AM) [snapback]1304065[/snapback]
Yup, completely unrealistic. This is what kids do. They explore new things. I think making a big deal out of NOT doing it will just push them to find out why mommy is SO upset that they are touching down there.

ita! i actually think it's different than picking one's nose, which can be kind of dirty and unhealthy (get germs in the nose, spread boogies, etc). explaining about private parts and why we touch them in private seems healthier than just telling them to not to do it... also, i am sure they will ask you why, eventually!

anything that's remotely sexual can stir up lots of emotions and i totally get that. but, i do think it's a good idea for everyone to explore their feelings/perceptions about this, since how we treat the issue can have far-reaching effects on our little ones.

gl!

 

I want my children to have a healthy relationship with all of their body parts. I don't think the process of coming to understanding their body should be made shameful. Picking your nose in public is considered inappropriate and I don't mind if my kids feel a bit ashamed because I tell them not to do it. I want them to have a healthy relationship with their entire body, though, so I won't be telling them not to explore their privates. It's not masturbating in the sense that adults masturbate - it's not sexual. It's just part of their developmental process, and I will gladly teach them to go to their room if they want to touch their privates, but I won't attempt to inhibit their curiosity. To me, this feels appropriate, safe and sane, but every parent needs to do what they feel is best.

 

I think it is perfectly normal. Molly will touch herself and to me it looks like it hurts but she has a natural curiosity. My boys used to do it too, they don't now. I do remember a time when Micah had just woken up and came downstairs, he had his hand in his pants and these really big and I mean huge eyes, I asked what was wrong and he said "Mommy my penis is big", it was hysterical!! Well, I thought so anyway. Normal, I mean if you walk in on a 6 year old watching tv and they are really going to town I would say inappropriate but I don't want my babies to feel ashamed at this age or any other.

 

my son used to pull on his nuts so hard I was convinced they were going to pop right off and my daughter gave her daddy the shock of his life one time when she grabbed her labia and pulled them apart!!!! its just exploration - and its even funnier if you have b/g and they start to discover that their twin is different than they are...to me its no different than finding their hands or toes for the first time - it's only a big deal if we as the adults make it as such...

oh and my son tells me all the time that he has a big winky :laughing:

oh and Nicole I'd have died of laughter right then and there!

 

I understand that they are going to explore sometimes for like five seconds every now and then, but I don't understand why people tell their little ones "You can play with yourself in your bedroom" I don't know, I am not trying to judge anyone, to me that is just weird. I get that they will find their privates, and be curious about them, but I don't get why people send them to their rooms and let them finish playing with themselves. Eh, I don't know what I am trying to say.