Preschool Question

Would you send one of your twins to preschool and not the other, if one was not ready?

I am looking for your thoughts. Thanks!

 

Nicole, I have one that would be perfectly fine (or so I thought) and one that wouldn't (at first). I just learned today that Martin doesn't want to go to class without Ali (I let her stay home with Grammy and Grampy) and Martin had a hard time!

I am hoping to put them both in next year and I know she'll be ok eventually. After a few times. It's a great question!

 

I don't know, it's a tough question. I guess if it were just a couple of mornings a week & one really wanted to go, I might. What makes you think the other one isn't ready? Is it separation anxiety? Do they have to be pt'd for preschool or something?

 

QUOTE(jamey @ Oct 17 2007, 02:29 PM) [snapback]455204[/snapback]
I don't know, it's a tough question. I guess if it were just a couple of mornings a week & one really wanted to go, I might. What makes you think the other one isn't ready? Is it separation anxiety? Do they have to be pt'd for preschool or something?


Tha class is Tuesday/Thursday 9-12.

Yes, I am thinking my DS might not be ready. We visited for a trial day yesterday and he was having major separation anxiety which is not really him. (My kids have never had a separation issue with anyone we have left them with). The other issue is potty training. He does well, but we still have to remind him to go, so he really is not taking an initiative by himself all the time. Plus they really don't have to go to preschool this year. We did Mommy and Me at the same school last year and the loved it, so I thought preschool would be good. But they will still have 2 years of preschool if they don't go this year.

The problem is DD walked in the class yesterday like she has been going for months. Started playing right away, even sat down and did the craft project with the teacher. She was very comfortable and could have cared less if I was there or not. She even walked in to the restroom and did her business with no help. She is clearly ready for a class like this.

So now I am torn!

 

I wouldn't do it. Here is why: because of Jonathan getting placed in the special needs class, he went to school 5 days a week from the time he was placed--at that time Marcus was in 2 days a week. Then last year Jon was in 5 days again, and Marc 3. The problem was, when Jon was in school, whatever I did with Marc, he was bored, missed his brother. Since you still have 2 years to go, I would skip it, use the money for something like a gymnastics, music, or swimming class, and start them both in the fall.

 

That's a tough one. Sharon makes some relaly good points. Then again I keep thinking if they are anything like mine, they thrive when apart. I guess it depends on the kids and their relationship.

How do they do when apart? (mine do great and never miss each other)
How do they do when home together. (mine fight most of the time)

I think mine would be fine to do what you ar easking but it relaly is such an individual decision.

I know I have plenty of time but if things stay the way they are now, that may be a good solution for mine.

 

Can you send them for a few weeks and see how he does Nicole? Mine went 1x per week last year and Andrew had much more separation anxiety than Catherine. After a few weeks he got over it and LOVED preschool. After the first month they didn't even say goodbye to me anymore when I dropped them off! I would probably give it a shot and then keep him home if the teachers don't think he's adjusting well.

 

I should say, that mine had nothing to do with separation itself, mine have NEVER been in the same class, and for the last 1 1/2 years of preschool, they were in different schools. It was the, "why does he get to go, and I don't" issue. I know that if they are different ages, you will have that naturally, but with twins, it is hard to explain why one gets to go and the other doesn't. For us it was because "Jon needed to work on his speech and behavior, so he doesn't hit you anymore", which Marc was able to accept. But how do you tell a not even 3 year old, that his sister is ready, but he isn't?

 

Thank you all for your suggestions. They are not super needy of each other and would be fine if separated for a few hours. They play well together but of course have their moments! I guess I was just curious at what some of your thoughts were as I have gotten the "You can't hold her back because of him comment" and "How can you send 1 and not the other!" comment. So I thought I would ask. Melissa, at this point my thoughts are to give it a try and see how it goes as well. I am just trying to be prepared for the worst if we have to pull him out... what do I do with Katelyn?! Oh the joys of parenting twins!

Thanks again all!

 

I don't know if I would judge the "is he ready" from the first visit. Honestly, when we were touring preschools, I thought Claire was going to be a disaster. She had separation issues, she didn't communicate as well as her sister (they were barely 2). I thought Cate was going to have to lead her through everything. After a few weeks, it completely flopped on me & Claire was adjusted & Cate was having issues. Mine is daycare/preschool - so it's really not an "option" but I thought I would tell you how they adjusted. They both still have their moments, but it's more Cate than Claire - and it's more show than anything.

 

I think you should give it a try but be ready for some tears from both you and him. We went to an open house at our preschool prior to the start of classes and DS wanted nothing to do with it. Well, really worse than nothing since he kept saying "Mommy, let's go home" and he'd try to make a dash for the door. DD, on the other hand, was into it from the beginning. We had pre-registered for the first month of classes to be assured of a spot and I thought if it didn't work out I'd try to get DS and I in the Mommy and Me class we did last year and leave DD in the 2.5 year old class. The first day went OK but I think DS was just taking in the whole new situation, Day 2 was not so good, and Day 3 was just awful. DS was clinging to me saying "No, Mommy! Don't go! I'll never see you again!". One of his teachers held him when I left and I went out to my car and sat and cried. His teacher said DS cried for just a few minutes and that was it (so I probably cried longer ). We had lots of talks before the next class about how Mommy will always come back and get him and I gave him a picture of him and me to put in his pocket. He did quickly better after that and now hardly even waits to say goodbye before running off into the class. The teacher told me that days 3 and 4 are usually the worse and there was a lot of kids crying on those days. Now I don't think any of the kids cry any more. Our class meets two times a week for an hour and half.