Preschool question - Does she have to use the potty at preschool?

Preschool starts 9/10 and she nees to be potty trained. They cannot be in pullups. DD is about 50% potty trained. Some days she wants to wear her panties & tells me when she needs to go. Other days she wants nothing to do with it. I was thinking of getting these training pants in the One Step Ahead catalog that look like regular underwear. She is in a Moms Morning Out programs now, she wears a pull up but mostly keeps it dry. It is never that wet & in 15 months of going there she has never needed changed (it is 2 1/2 hours) I know she holds it because she doesn't want someone else to change her. Also, in all the time she has been going there, she has never once had a BM there, even almost every other days she does during that time (9-11:30)

The other problem is I just found out today that they will not help the kids at all with their clothes, wiping etc. She has some trouble w/her pants but i could just per her in dresses. She has always been behind physically (for ex. she just started walking down the steps my herself this summer) She has some socialization issues & I really think she needs to be in preschool. I think when all her new friends are using the potty she will want to too. So I think if she just gets through the initial weeks she will be ok. So I guess my question is - if she isn't having accidents that need cleaned up do you think her not actually using the potty while she is there will be an issue? Has anyone had experience with this?

 

I am probably not of any help. My son is 3 1/2 and will be going to preschool next month. He did do a few months in April too. Luckily they don't have to be potty trained at this one. He was born with Hirschsprung's Disease, which affects the bowels. He is fine now, but because of all the consipation issues potty training stopped last year. I am not good at the whole issue and my plan of having him in underwear for school has failed. I know they have changed him at school and plan on working with him. I would talk to her teachers. I know in Minnesota by law anyone can request a helper for their child if they require any assistance in any area. Not sure about other states?

 

QUOTE(Leticia @ Aug 16 2007, 05:27 AM) [snapback]369875[/snapback]
I am probably not of any help. My son is 3 1/2 and will be going to preschool next month. He did do a few months in April too. Luckily they don't have to be potty trained at this one. He was born with Hirschsprung's Disease, which affects the bowels. He is fine now, but because of all the consipation issues potty training stopped last year. I am not good at the whole issue and my plan of having him in underwear for school has failed. I know they have changed him at school and plan on working with him. I would talk to her teachers. I know in Minnesota by law anyone can request a helper for their child if they require any assistance in any area. Not sure about other states?

Does anyone know of this in Ohio? I've thought about having her tested, but I'm not sure she is really *that* far behind, or where to go but I know kids a whole 12 -18 months younger than her that are doing things she's not. I'm not 100% sure if it is a can't or a won't situation - KWIM??? other ex - she can climb to the top of the slide but can't/won't get on her bottom by herself to slide down...those cars you climb in & move w/your feet - some type she finally learned to do this summer - others she still can't do.

 

QUOTE(Oneplus2more @ Aug 15 2007, 11:24 PM) [snapback]369810[/snapback]
The other problem is I just found out today that they will not help the kids at all with their clothes, wiping etc.


Is this for real? They won't help 3-year olds with their clothes? That seems unreasonable to me. What if a child has an accident - do they help them change their clothes or make them do it themselves?

I know you might not have other options at this point, but this is not the type of school I would send my kids to until they were much older (at which point it wouldn't be preschool anymore).

-Rachel

 

I think you really need to talk to the school about this. Their rules do seem sort of unreasonable to me (I know some 5-year-olds who still need help with their clothes, as well as with wiping up their poop), but before you envision a complicated way around the rules, you need to find out if they're going to be at all willing to work with you.

 

All the preschools we have looked into do require them to be potty trained by 3 but they would help with clothes and accidents.

 

QUOTE(RachelJoy @ Aug 16 2007, 11:12 AM) [snapback]370094[/snapback]
Is this for real? They won't help 3-year olds with their clothes? That seems unreasonable to me. What if a child has an accident - do they help them change their clothes or make them do it themselves?

I know you might not have other options at this point, but this is not the type of school I would send my kids to until they were much older (at which point it wouldn't be preschool anymore).

-Rachel


Honestly, I think I would look for a different preschool and/or just skip it for this year. I am sending mine to preschool in Sept too, but they don't have to be potty trained. I would look for one a little more willing to work with the children. Maybe if you are looking more for socialization rather than "school", try daycare for a few hours a day, a couple days a week.

Just from reading posts here on TS, it sounds like Ohio's EI program is spotty. But, I would call and at least see if you can get an eval. Ainsley has been in EI since birth. She is also very cautious and hesitant to try things. She does have a gross motor delay, but we also wonder too if she is overly cautious just because of her personality, or does she feel unsure because of her delay.

 

I think it's fairly common for them to have to be trained for the three year old and up classes. My girls don't need to be trained for the two year old class (one of mine is trained, the other isn't). I personally don't understand why it would matter if they wore pull ups as long as the teachers weren't responsible for changing them. And that they won't help at all with clothes sound a little off. My girls definitely need some help. I wonder if that's just "policy" but that the teachers actually do help.

 

I have also found when investigating local 3yr old preschools in my area that they required potty training with no pull ups. However, I also noticed when doing onsite day visits to preschools this past February, a couple kids in each program wearing pull-ups or seeing a spare in their backpacks(and this was over half the school year through!). So obsiously, there must be some flexibility.

They also said that the child should be able to manage bathroom chores themselves, however, in all cases, I noticed the teacher's aide going in or standing outside the door to assist. There are many 3yr olds that cannot do buttons or resnap their pants! Effective buttom wiping after a #2 is also a skill that comes closer to 4-5yrs. This isn't anything new to anyone that spends time with a bunch of 3yr olds.

Have you gone to the parent orientation yet? I would speak privately with the teacher then or call to talk more in depth on the subject. You may find a different tone when you ask one on one. Do you really think that once you take a slot in the program (and pay) that they will kick you out? While many preschools are not set up or accredited to manage diaper changing, they completely realize that they are dealing with (many) newly trained 3yr olds and accidents happen.

 

QUOTE(Debb-i @ Aug 17 2007, 01:20 AM) [snapback]370988[/snapback]
I have also found when investigating local 3yr old preschools in my area that they required potty training with no pull ups. However, I also noticed when doing onsite day visits to preschools this past February, a couple kids in each program wearing pull-ups or seeing a spare in their backpacks(and this was over half the school year through!). So obsiously, there must be some flexibility.

They also said that the child should be able to manage bathroom chores themselves, however, in all cases, I noticed the teacher's aide going in or standing outside the door to assist. There are many 3yr olds that cannot do buttons or resnap their pants! Effective buttom wiping after a #2 is also a skill that comes closer to 4-5yrs. This isn't anything new to anyone that spends time with a bunch of 3yr olds.

Have you gone to the parent orientation yet? I would speak privately with the teacher then or call to talk more in depth on the subject. You may find a different tone when you ask one on one. Do you really think that once you take a slot in the program (and pay) that they will kick you out? While many preschools are not set up or accredited to manage diaper changing, they completely realize that they are dealing with (many) newly trained 3yr olds and accidents happen.

This is exactly what I was wondering about. To me, when told in the spring that she had to be potty trained, I assumed that meant that she didn't have (many) accidents & let Mommy/Teacher know she needed to potty - but not that it meant she had to do it entirely by herself. I talked to the director of the preschool last night. I was completely taken aback by her comments & her tone. When I told her Rachel needed help w/her clothing (she is actually pretty good at wiping) Joan said - Well, then she isn't potty trained is she? She needs to be fully self sufficient - in a very snippy voice. I was so surprised I didn't really know what to say. She did not say anything along the lines of all 3 yr olds have accidents or seem at all sympathetic to a child needing some help. She is not the teacher that will be in the room. Orientation is not until Sept 4, but I tried today to find an opening at another preschool and pretty much all they have are afternoons. Rachel still takes & needs an afternoon nap. I was also freaking out becasue today is the day we had to pay to keep her slot. I did go ahead & pay it as I do think it will all work out!!