Preschool: One ill, one not--do you take the one that is not?

Just wondering what you all do. Kaia has the flu today She did get a flu shot this year, but nonetheless, she is ill. We took her to the pedi yesterday w/a temp of 104.5 axilary (I added the degree in already). They tested for a UTI and strep--both negative. So, he feels its the flu.

Maddy is fine. We are trying to decide what to do about preschool--do we take Maddy and keep Kaia home? I'm thinking about the fact that one gets to go, one has to stay home (Kaia will likely be disappointed she can't go), plus how Maddy will do without Kaia in preschool.

What do you do? Thanks!

 

Hmmm... well my thought would be that Maddy might have the flu soon! So I'd be tempted to keep both home. Also, that way you don't have to take the sick child out to pick up the healthy child, etc. However, if Maddy would feel like she is being punished just b/c Kaia is sick then I would take her. I guess it depends how easy it is to get to preschool, etc. I'd probalby keep both home just b/c I wouldn't have my "free time" anyway with one home. KWIM? I hope she feels better soon!

 

I have always kept both home when one is sick also. Mainly because of 2 reasons, 1- the other is bound to be sick within the next 24 hours and 2-the one that isn't sick wants to stay at home anyways...

 

I've done both. My kids go to preschool/daycare and there have been times when one has been ill or had a dr's appt and I've just sent one. My kids love going so much that they are disappointed to not go... even when they are ill. The teachers told me last time that Natalie was there without Gabe that every once in awhile she would say "where Gabe? Gabe?" but that she functioned pretty normally otherwise. I liked being able to really care for the one that was ill and give him/her special attention. I think it's really up to you. If it's not terribly inconvienent to take one and keep one home and you don't think they would be too upset to be separated, then go for it.

 

I have done both, but usually will keep both of them home if one is sick. One reason and this is pure selfishness, I don't have to get everyone up and out to drive to daycare. The other, they are usually lost without the other one and a whole day is a long time away from each other.

 

Tough call for many reasons. Do you want to bring the sick kid into the classroom with the healthy one? Or do you have someone to leave sick kid with at home? I think I would keep both at home. Just easier for ALL.

 

This has only happened to us once but I took the healthy one to school and kept the ill one with me, it was soo hard because it was Valentine's Day last year. I felt soo sad for Kyle, he cried and cried when I told him he had to stay home. We don't have to go into the school, we have a pick up/drop off line so this quote:
Do you want to bring the sick kid into the classroom with the healthy one?
wasn't a concern for me. In my opinion, it would have been unfair to keep Kayla home just because her brother was not feeling well. In the end it was the perfect decision for us, Kayla brought home Kyle's valentines which made both of them soo happy (Kayla because she got to help and Kyle because by night he was feeling better and soo excited to see Kayla brought his bag home) and Kayla never did end up getting it so keeping her home on the pretense that she might get it too would have been incorrect.

Sorry to hear Kaia is not feeling well, hope she is feeling better soon (and keeps her germs to herself )!

 

I would bring the healthy one. If you have drop off, can you have another parent bring the healthy one in. Or I have a freind who had a sick child, and just got to school 5 min early to drop her son off, so her sick child wouldn't be around other kids.

In my mind, they are two individual children, and they shouldn't have do stay home because their sibling was sick. When making these decisions, I always ask myself, what would I do if they were different ages. Would you keep your first grader home if your K child was sick? It would be a no-brainer to send the healthy one.

 

quote:
Originally posted by sharongl:
I always ask myself, what would I do if they were different ages. Would you keep your first grader home if your K child was sick? It would be a no-brainer to send the healthy one.


I agree with this Sharon. I have not really been in this situation yet, but I think generally this is a good rule to follow. Siblings of mixed ages go to school when one is sick, and I see twins as not being any different. If one is sick, he/she stays home. If one is not sick, then he/she goes to school.

Plus, the only time both of mine have been sick at the same time has been with just colds. When it is something big, it has always just been one that has been sick. I am lucky.

 

For daycare and pre-K this year, we have sent the healthy one and kept the sick one home. But it has only happened a few times, and we have really helathy kids, so we do not assume the second child will automatically get sick.

 

If she's not showing any symptons, then take her to school. At my kid's preschool, we have to pay whether they are there or not.

 

I have taken the healthy one and left the sick one at home. This has only happened once for us this year. I also do not always assume the other one will get sick as many times they don't.

 

Hasn't happened often, but I have taken the healthy one to preschool/ part time day care. That has been ideal if I need to take one in to see the doctor and not drag the other along. Also, it gives them the opportunity to be at school "on their own." Mine are still in a class together, but I think it is good for them to know they can do just fine without their twin too. At our center, the program director will help get healthy child to and from car if that is necessary.

Mine don't always get sick together--sometimes only one gets sick.

 

I have always sent the healthy one. I agree with the others that if they were different ages this wouldn't be an issue, so why should we make it an issue with twins?
However, I also have another motivation, if one stays home, the housekeeper-nanny can still do most of her normal morning cleaning, if both are at home, nothing gets cleaned and we're having sandwiches for lunch!
And it is always hard, they both cry when I leave the house with only one, and they spend most of the morning asking after the other one. But I think it is good experience for them to be apart from time to time.

 

I would let the one go that isn't sick. My feeling is just because they are twins doesn't mean they do everything the same. I think it would be good for the one that isn't sick to go and have fun, and the one that is sick to get some rest. With my kids if one is sick the other goes to school because they love school. Kendra has gone several times without Maliyah because she was sick. I think Kendra missed Maliyah at school ALOT, but she still wanted to go. I have to say that I was worried sending Kendra by herself because its a new school. I am glad that she was brave enough.

Let us know what you end up doing.

Erin

 

I just went through this. Connor came down with the flu, Aaron was put on Tamiflu and had a clean bill of health. Connor had to stay out of school for a week. I am a big promonent of keeping them together, even went to the school board because of it. I did it more for Aaron too, since he is the one that can not handle being separated. Anyway, I decided that they had to learn that school is not optional and that you can only miss school if you are sick. Since Aaron was well, he had to go without his brother. The first day he was scared to get on the bus, but after that, he was okay. He kept asking when Connor was coming back, and the teacher said he was pretty withdrawn during the day. But he learned that he is responsible for himself and he has to go to school when he is well. He did just fine!

 

We send the healthly one to school.

 

WE do not have drop off lines at preschool so i would have had to take both kids in the classroom with me. That is why I would keep both kids home if one is sick.

Obviously, if an older child takes the bus to school and is healthy I will send her. That is totally different than shlepping a sick and healthy toddler to preschool. KWIM?

 

quote:
In my mind, they are two individual children, and they shouldn't have do stay home because their sibling was sick. When making these decisions, I always ask myself, what would I do if they were different ages. Would you keep your first grader home if your K child was sick? It would be a no-brainer to send the healthy one.


I agree entirely. Three times this year, Brady has been sick while Hayden was fine. For two of the drop offs, I had to take Brady inside with me and up the stairs, which I hated to do, but I had no choice. I just made sure he stayed by me and didn't go near his friends. For one of the drop offs, Brady was too sick to come in, so I had my parents come watch him while I took Hayden to school.

 

I hate to pay for something and not use it, so I always take the healthy child.

 

My girls are just in dance school so far and they only missed one class all year because Kelly was sick. I kept them both home but only because I wait for them and there are other moms in the waiting room with babies. I thought it was unfair to bring Kelly there to wait with me and potentially make other kids sick. Preschool will be different. I would send the healthy child to school. But, I would see if my neighbor could walk her up the block to the school with her kids so I wouldn't have to bring out the sick child.

 

quote:
For two of the drop offs, I had to take Brady inside with me and up the stairs, which I hated to do, but I had no choice


See this is what I would avoid - bringing a sick kid into a classroom PERIOD. I like the idea of leaving the sick kid home with someone else and only bringing the healthy one with you. Otherwise keep both home.

 

quote:
quote:
For two of the drop offs, I had to take Brady inside with me and up the stairs, which I hated to do, but I had no choice


See this is what I would avoid - bringing a sick kid into a classroom PERIOD.


I didn't bring him into the classroom. He walked through the hall with me, and Hayden went into the classroom. Brady wasn't in contact with any of the other children, and he didn't touch anything they were going to be touching. He wasn't deathly ill -- just a cold -- so it wasn't some huge risk that was worth keeping his brother home for the day. When Brady had stomach flu, then I left him home with my parents just because I didn't want him throwing up in the hallway of the school, but I certainly wasn't concerned about anyone catching anything from him just by his walking through the hall.

When I'm sick, I still take my kids to preschool. I'm just careful not to breathe on anybody or touch anything. Bringing the sick child with me to drop off the healthy child is the same thing, IMO.

 

Due to logistics and the way the preschool building is physically set up, we decided to keep them both home. I had to go into work yesterday morning, so Kate stayed home with them and there was no way she could get Maddy to the classroom without taking Kaia, and since all the kids congregate outside the 2's classroom area, there would be no way we could've avoided the other kids.

You guys mentioned so many things I hadn't thought of (like what is done with kids of other ages, etc). This has been an awesome discussion!

Thanks for your thoughts about Kaia. The fever has broke and she is feeling a bit better today. Maddy, fortunately, is still showing no symptoms.

 

quote:
kids congregate outside the 2's classroom area, there would be no way we could've avoided the other kids.


Stacy, this is normally what happens at Marcus' preschool, but I know parents with a sick child--actually usually a grade school child--are allowed in the doors a few minutes early, so the sick child doesn't have to be around the kids waiting. Maybe a call to the director to see if this is possible?

 

quote:
I would bring the healthy one. If you have drop off, can you have another parent bring the healthy one in. Or I have a freind who had a sick child, and just got to school 5 min early to drop her son off, so her sick child wouldn't be around other kids.

In my mind, they are two individual children, and they shouldn't have do stay home because their sibling was sick. When making these decisions, I always ask myself, what would I do if they were different ages. Would you keep your first grader home if your K child was sick? It would be a no-brainer to send the healthy one.
- Sharongl


I agree completely with Sharon. I have three sets of twins in my class this year, and all three families will consistently bring the healthy one if the other one is sick. Frankly, I feel there is no point in worrying that the healthy one is about to get sick and might infect others; whatever germ took out the first one is rumbling around the classroom anyway!

The added bonus is that it gives the healthy child a chance to experiment with a little independence, and the sick one to have some one-on-one time with mom or dad.

-Karen