Preschool Is Expensive for Three

Hi all! I don't even remember the last time I posted on here. The past year has been crazy. We moved last summer, DH started a new job that had him training out of state from last July through November, while DH was gone I trained for and ran my first half-marathon after he came home, then DH deployed from April until June and I started school at the end of May. I'm going back to become a nurse! I will hopefully graduate in December of 2014 and I can't even begin to explain how excited I am to know I'll have a job that offers my family true flexibility, especially when DH is gone/deployed. With three lo's between the ages of 2 1/2 and 4, time really gets away from me and our days are pretty wild. I drink a lot of coffee these days! Owen, Kathryn, and Sullivan are doing well - the twins are potty-trained and have been for quite some time now. We are going to potty train Sullivan next weekend. We get asked all the time if they are triplets or if our DS and youngest DD are the twins. It's funny, but it makes me realize how much they've all grown in the last year and how we really are moving out of the baby phase for good. Heartbreaking and wonderful all at the same time. Everyone knows the alphabet and we're working on letter and number recognition right now. We read and paint a lot and go to the ymca several times a week so they can socialize a bit with other kids (and go ahead and get some germ exposure, never thought I'd want that, but better now than the first month of Kindergarten) Right now we are working hard on manners...please, thank you, yes sir, no ma'am, etc. That and trying to keep my DS and my youngest DD from killing each other. Ha! Those two are so much alike, but they go at it non-stop! That's just a little update I guess on us - I've missed being on here and after reading a few threads lately, I realize I need to be on here more often for ideas and inspiration and reassurance that I'm not alone as a SAHM and all that goes along with this wonderful, but challenging job.

Here's my dilemma right now. The twins turn four in December (wow!) and Sullivan turns three in February (even bigger wow! she's the baby!) I would love for them to start a preschool program within the next year. The twins will start kindergarten in August of 2014. But it is very expensive to put two in a program, let alone three. Money is tight right now...if we had an extra $400 a month, I would have that new (but used), bigger car that we so desperately need. I try my very best to work with them at home and to expose them to as much as I can - like I said before we paint, color, read, work puzzles, do brain quest flash cards, they socialize at the gym and with our friends' kids, we play at the park, go to the zoo, etc. I do not feel like they are lagging behind in any one area. They know how to share because that's the only way we can do things around here and they play well with others.

I know I will have to take out a student loan once I start the nursing program full-time and to be honest, we could probably pay for school out of pocket and I anticipate most of my loan will go towards child care/preschool. That could be a year away though and I would love to hear from other moms who were maybe in the same boat or did preschool work at home. I do not want them to fall behind or miss out because of our budget. Sometimes when I tell other Moms that our children aren't in preschool they look at me like I'm crazy and it makes me feel like a bad mom for not being able to do more for them right now. I do feel like they're on track, how do I continue to prepare them in a way that's practical (for a mom at home all day who also has a 2 1/2 yr old and no help until DH comes home at 6pm) and fun. Am I worrying too much about this? Any advice would be greatly appreciated!! And I am so sorry this turned into such a long post!

 

Welcome back Sarah! I'm running off to a meeting, but wanted to write quickly. My twins just started kindergarten last month and I've been amazed at how well kids from all of the various backgrounds are doing. Their class has kids who started daycare at 6 weeks old and stayed there until the day kindergarten started, kids who did three years of full time preschool, kids who did part time preschool, and quite a few kids who didn't do any preschool at all. You'd never know who was who based on manners, skill levels, ability to sit still, etc. So I really and truly don't think it matters if your children attend preschool prior to kindergarten.

Preschool is a huge help for kids who haven't had any opportunities to socialize or learn to follow directions, and for families that aren't able to teach things like letters and numbers at home. But you sound like a really "with it" mom - you're doing everything already that my kids did in preschool (they went from 9 - 3 five days a week for two years because both DH and I work full time). So I say don't stress. If the money's there and you want some free time, do it. But if the budget is already stretched and you're staying sane with your three lovelies at home with you, keep up the good work. You are not hurting your kids at all by not putting them in preschool. I promise.

 

Ugh I'm sorry it seems difficult. You could try and contact your school district to see if they have any option at all, otherwise I'd try and find a workbook of some sort with activities that cover what they need to know for kindergarten, but I think you're doing fine. A lot of kids don't go to preschool. It's a bit harder for them when they start kindergarten but they adapt (and if you leave them at the babysitting place at the gym they probably learn basics there too).

 

They did a huge study on head start kids here in NJ and found that although the headstart kids knew basics and some were advanced for their age, that advantage disappeared by the end of 1st or 2nd grade. At that point, even kids who entered school not knowing basics were overall at the same level. I have put some of my kids in preschool, others I haven't and there has not been any difference except my one child who had an unhappy experience with preschool. I think it sounds like you are very engaged, very focused on teaching your kids and I don't think it will make a difference if they go or not except to give you a little break. If it will create a financial strain then I would not put them into preschool, especially with everything you are doing with them.

If your husband is active duty they do have programs for spouses for education. Don't forget to apply to the Officer Wives and Deca and PX and a bunch of others for their grants. Where we are, they had multiple grants and only 1 applicant. So, be sure to apply.

 

Thank you so much for the advice on the military grants. I will definitely look into those. It makes me feel better to know that there are some mamas on here that have had or known children who did well in school and did not go to preschool. The workbook idea is a good one. There is a great parent teacher store just a few miles from our house. I'm sure they'll be able to point me in the right direction. This area is pretty expensive and we are still getting used to that. I just looked up the preschool program at the elementary school where the kids will go and it was actually more each month than the church preschools I've been looking at. Crazy! I was thinking it would be more affordable. Thanks again everyone.

 

My dd who is 21 yrs old, did not go to preschool. She is in her senior year of college and in the spring enters premed. Straight 4.0- (actually her weighted grade in highschool was 4.6) through highschool and college. She earned a full academic scholarship (grant) for college. Next year her grant won't cover a few thousand each semester but she has various hospitals vying for her to intern and they pay more than $30,000 a yr while she is in school.

My teenager, is a Junior in highschool, again straight A student. He wants to become an attorney. He did go to preschool

My 5th grader, no preschool, his Dad was medevaced out of Iraq when he was 3 1/2 yrs old and was at Walter Reed for about 6 months recovering from injuries so all our time was spent there with him and with the other injured soldiers. My 5th grader is brilliant, sent him to camp and the counselors who are experts in their field could not answer all his questions. A couple of them are corresponding with him and are just amazed (they cc me in on it).

My oldest did do preschool, he did well in school too but was bored. He did a semester of college and was bored with that so he enlisted. Now he is working on college while he is in the Army and told me that he should have followed our advice . Have to love that!

Anyway, I don't think preschool makes a difference unless the parent isn't doing what they should do with their child and offering them new experiences and activities. Your kids will do great whether they go to preschool or not. I will try to find my paperwork on some of the grants, I am taking a break from being an FRG leader but I have tons of info. I'll try to find it for you and pm you the links later.

 

What Tricia said

 

I don't think your kids need preschool. Preschool is Not a must. And sound like your kids are doing well . You also should call your state. It might have some program can help you out with your kids tuitions. I totally feel your pain. Our kids daycare and baby sitter expenses are way too expensive even though we make good money.

You are a super mom. I don't know how I could handle 3 kids. You are doing the best for your kids and family. Don't let others put you down. Yeah they can judge. But so what?? Does it mean they are better moms. Not really.

 

I want to reiterate what others have said. Preschool is not a must. It is something that is extremely beneficial for kids that don't get those skills at home but your kids DO. I never went to preschool and I think I turned out alright. You're definitely doing more than I can right now and I know we aren't likely to be able to afford preschool either. Keep doing what you're doing (at least as much as you are able once you're in school too!) and they'll do well.

 

Find out if your public school has a 4k program your kids could participate in. We had 3 in daycare at once for about 18 months, and it was rough. I think we were paying 2k per month!! It's still not cheap with 2 in daycare, but easier!

 

I agree. Preschool is totally not necessary especially if you are doing everything at home!! Save the money. But, you could look into programs that are minimal in cost and will "train" them in that academic setting- circle time etc. Look at Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS)- fun meetings for you and activities and programs for kids. There is a nominal fee for the mom but doesn't matter how many kids you have. Look at Bible Study Fellowship (preview.bsfinternational.org). A great program for you and an AMAZING preschool-like program for kiddos. You could also look at sharing with other moms- each take a turn running preschool like activities for kids one to two mornings a week. Lots of easy stuff to do- things like counting money, rhythm, circle time finger plays etc.

Also, if time allows, you could be a preschool parent. Lots of preschools offer big discounts if you go and help out each week.

But, if school is too busy, I would not worry!! Just teach them how to hold a pencil and sit still and you're good to go!!

 

I don't think preschool is necessary. Children have been taught in the home for centuries for preschool and beyond. My kids won't go to preschool, partly because we can't afford it. In California, where I live, even Kindergarten is not required by law. It seems as if preschool has become the new kindergarten, where society expects that kids will attend preschool.

My kids have plenty of opportunities for social interaction. We go to Sunday School, MOPS, BSF (which is free and awesome), and story time at the library. We also do crafts at home and my kids like to do workbooks. I think preschool can be fun and a good opportunity for mom to get a break, but not at all necessary for most kids.

 

I agree that your kids are not going to be worse off for not having went to pre-school. My husband went to pre-school as a kid and wound up being an average student. I never went to pre-school and was put in gifted/advanced classes for years. Pre-school may give some kids a leg up if they haven't had a chance to learn things like letters/colors etc at home but if you are doing things with your kids at home they are going to be fine. My husband wanted our girls to go to pre-school and figured, OK, mainly for the fact of getting social interaction since they know pretty much everything they should at this age and pre-school wouldn't teach them anything new. So I went to enroll them and found out it would be $5000 for the year for 2 kids. UM WHAT?!?!? Sorry, but I have better things to spend $5k on than making sure my kids get to have play time every day! So instead, we put them in a dance class that is once a week and is only about $1000 a year for both. They still get the interaction, they get to learn some things and have fun. Even if you can't afford classes, there are lots of free opportunities for interaction, like libraries, playgrounds, etc.

 

There is a free preschool program in our high school here. It is only 6 months,(4 days a week) and parents have to bring the supplies and snacks but it is abosulutely free besides that. There is one adult teacher and there is one 16-17 year old working with every two pre-schoolers. You may have something like that going on in your town without you knowing about it. Try to get in touch with your local high school and see if they offer a similar program.

 

Thanks everyone! I recently found out that our local library not only does a story hour once a week, but they also do a social play time once a week for kids four and under. We're getting a membership to the science center which should provide us with hours of fun during the winter/rainy days and I also found a Mommy and Me class at our church that meets once a week. We also have MOPS and a Mothers of Multiples group in our area. With all of that to pick from, plus weekly playdates and their time in child watch at the gym with their friends, regular trips to the zoo, park, Sunday school, etc. I feel like they do/will get plenty of social interaction. I found some great pre-K workbooks and continue to work on letters, colors, shapes, etc. here at home on a daily basis. DH and I also discussed putting our DS in a karate class and our DD in a dance or gymnastics class in January. That would of course cost a little more each month, but not nearly as much as two in preschool and worth it for the structure/discipline of a class setting and social interaction. I really appreciate the encouragement! Thanks again.

 

:drinks: good job mama, you have everything figured out. Sounds lot of fun. They will have fun and you will be busy. I strongly suggest gymnastic and swimming classes. My kids love soccer, but they have to wait until Jan to start in door soccer. They are in gymnastic class now.

Personally, you might disagree with me. But I really think you should not stress too much about teaching them letters, numbers, shapes,..You actually dont need to teach them at all. I understand how you feel when you think "my kids are not in preschool and many other kids are." And yeah kids learn alot in preschool. But it doesnt mean they will be ahead of your kids. If you do research most of gifted, smart and top 5 in class kids didnt start school early. And many of them spend more time to play then study. At this age, the most important things are growing well, imagining, fun and fun and developing healthy active life styles... Believe or not study is a long long process. I am 33 and I still have to study for my work. Every year, I have to complete 120 hour of training beside full time job. I dont teach my kids anything. I do provide them the info. they do pick up letters, numbers,.. from leapfrog DVDs. But thats about it. below is the link to a checklit for kinder garder. As you will see, your kids already qualified for most of it.

I am sure you and your kids will have ton of fun soon. They will learn and know so much at science center. You will be surprised!!! :silly:


http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_What_your_child/

 

What a great checklist! Thanks so much for sharing!